I have decided to start a journal; it was Elaine's idea. She got me one for my birthday today. I have turned nine as of today. She says that I spend so much time looking after others that I should find some time to look after myself. She thinks this will help me to that end. I do often wonder what I would be doing every day if I were born as someone else. I wonder what it is like to be able to play like other children do. I am allowed free time every so often but even during that time, I cannot do something like idle play. Although I am curious, I would not trade away my life for anything. If I am capable of doing something that would protect the smiles of my loved ones then I will do it. Look at me, Elaine was right. This was meant to be time for me to relax.