House or Home

I should write to Oopha. It's been too long. But I just don't know what I should say. Being home has been... confusing, stressful and... nice. I am so grateful to see Scottie, in spite of all the officiousness of his station now. My companions only just now are maybe starting to understand the complexity of my station, and my relationship with my family. Perhaps it was foolish to come home, but Never needed us, and I had to tell Scottie of the tidings and news of the living nature of the Eternal Flame. Facing the Duchess and my Father are a small consequence of the journey I make now. So why does the thought of facing Him make bring all those feelings of inadequacy and insecurity back. I have come so far. I have been Called. I have found my purpose, and I would hope He would be proud. But why do I feel He will just be disappointed, as always. Maybe it's just another step on my path. I have started to feel as if this house was never really my home. That may be part of the alienation has to do with now seeing how our people live in partnership with the lands and forests as opposed to the urban lifestyle our nobles try and emulate from the elves the cohabit with. That may be now I am starting to understand our cultural identity as well as my personal identity? I suppose that was part of my purpose in elevating Never as well. So that someone who lives as we should, could exemplify our people's lifestyle to the rest of my family. So that they may understand what we have lost. And the sacrifices our common folk make on our behalf. It's all so much to take in. I have much to pray upon, before I can confront my family, my people, and the tasks before us. Thankfully I have the divine presence that touches us all to guide my hand and my will.