[1] Act 2: The Beginning

Picked this up out of boredom and... Loneliness. Sounds like such a sad sack thing to say but... It's true. Even with Caesanna and Evindel I feel... Alone. It's my own doing. I have nobody else to blame. Even if it would feel better to toss SOMETHING at someone else’s feet.... But no. I am the master of my own folly. So I sit here, on the grave of my friend... scribbling about stupid shit I don't even understand. God I am pathetic. A whiney, piece of utter trash. I didn't even... Rainier died and I write about him being my friend when I could barely call him so in life. So he had to die for me to do so? Wonder if that's how I finally call Evindel a friend. Sitting on his grave feeling sorry for myself... No, maybe I can do better before that happens...
 
I must be tipping over that edge now. The drink is making me far too melancholy. Evindel and Caesanna are out doing... Who knows what. I can't seem to bring myself to do much. I just drink and sit here, rolling dice over a man's grave who I barely knew. Wonder if I'm next. Gods please let it be me next.
 
Alright... that's enough drink. Rest goes to ol' Rainier.
 
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Went to the beach today... Forgot how nice the water was. Reminded me of... better times. Or the beginning of the worst I guess. But I was in a good mood today and that hadn't lingered in my mind for too long. Fuck, I must be a sappy drunk. That's annoying. Wonder if Sylas thought he was gonna sell me out when he taught me how to swim...
 
Well that bad time aside, was nice to go today. Evindel and Armin were ridiculous, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves and it was nice to see, if not amusing. Evindel apparently has never experienced an ocean. Man seems to have lived in the ashes of a sun-less land from how much he hasn't seen or done anything. But eventually everyone just started fishing, I was content with just swimming. It'd been a while. I was surprised at how easy it was to get back to. If I wasn't what I was I'd want to do it more... But nothing ruins a families beach day like a filthy changeling slipping under the water. Oh well. As long as I have drink I'll be fine.
 
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Armin got some kind of mission from his King. I honestly am just along for whatever ride they decide to go on. Armin is capable, I'm sure it won't be too bad... Not sure what it is. But then again I wasn't paying much attention. We said our goodbyes to Rainier... Weirdly I'll miss my routine. It wasn't like we were super close but... I mean the guy never had the chance to betray me so... Probably the nicest human I've met in this realm. I miss him sometimes, but not sure why.... Plus it was the only place I could drink and not get odd looks. Problem or not, this shit makes life way more bearable than when I was sober. And I have the money for this shit now! Drunk I can almost forget all the shitty parts. It just falls away for a bit and I feel like a person again...
 
Pfft that's fucking sad! But what are you gonna do? It's the truth. We are on a boat now. It's huge and never been sailing on a boat before, especially for as long as we will be traveling so... New adventure.
 
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FUCK.
BOATS.
 
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We got off the boat, thank GODs! Bought a bottle of the strong stuff to try and get through this last leg and seems its working its usual miracles. Sedates me enough I guess to just not feel sick. Drunk legs are synonymous with sea legs it seems! HA! Perfect.
 
Oh and there was a giant White Whale. That was terrifying. Rowed so hard my arms feel like they are water themselves. Armin was insane, but also impressive, once again. He was climbing the thing and stabbing at its eye until it ran off. Evindel and Caesanna were shooting at it... I was just rowing. Nothing I did helped. Not surprising. I seem to be growing more and useless among them. But those feelings are just washed away by the cleansing power of... I forget what's in this bottle...
 
Oh well, we docked the boat and now.... well I guess we get ready for a full day tomorrow.