[6] Act 2: Tyke, Shadecast, and Olic

I... Well. We ended up in the void. Not much of note beyond us finding Tyke and Evindel insisting that we go and get his sister. I understand why, doesn't stop me from feeling like we are running out of time. I don't know... I don't know what my mind is doing to me honestly. I've been struggling with my own suicidal thoughts for months now, drowning them in alcohol for a bit... And now I am presented with this prophetic death almost and... I... I don't want to. I guess I... Well it doesn't sit right with me that I be the martyr. What right do I have to be noted, even briefly in a history book as the vessel that captured and brought to death with her the 'Witch of Calamity'. No. I don't want to be noticed, recognized, or revered. Maybe they won't... Maybe it will be the rest of them who get their names jotted down. Maybe I will be preventing a chapter in the tomes of history all together... But if for some reason a damn creature with a pen writes it down I... I don't want it.
 
But here we are now. In the Shadecast... Armin and Evindel almost immediately were trying to kill each other. Evindel was no help in navigating this place, and good lord is it insanely depressing! We did find his sister though, after they got their heads thoroughly fucked with. This plane is fucking hell. I have no idea why anyone is here. But we did manage to get out and by some miracle it was near the ruins. Got a letter from Wayne that I didn't read until we got on the boat. He apparently still wanted to speak with me... too late dude. I'm on a boat. I don't know if I would have had the energy to speak with him anyway... Perhaps it is best that I just... Left. I'll be doing just that soon anyway. God it feels like its coming up too fast. Everyone in town was already panicking about a second Cataclysm. I thought I'd have more time...
 
We took a boat to Armin's country though. Was a short ride comparatively. I was passed out drunk for most of it.
Got to see the inner workings of Armin's life here. Then we got briefed on a definite second Cataclysm. Fucking perfect. Armin has mentioned not letting me die. All of them have in fact. But how is that fair? I mean... I don't want to be a martyr. Maybe I can negotiate with them. Get them to prevent it somehow. I just... No matter how selfish I try to be I cannot justify saving myself at the expense of what must be many more people. People with actual families and people who love them. I am not liked - I am barely tolerated - so... If anyone should die... I may be the least catastrophic option.
 
Fuck I am all over the place! I can't decide what I want. I do not want to die, I don't want to be a martyr, but FUCK how could I stand by as the world tries to end?! I hate myself! I hate this! I should have never come to this plane. I should have never helped that fucking bastard Sylas, and I should have never listened to Caesanna! I should have just died alone and unimportant in the Faecast... How selfish of me to ever think the solution to my loneliness was elsewhere... anywhere. I should have killed myself before any of this shit could happen. Then someone better would be making these choices... Someone like Evindel. Someone who knows how to do the right thing.
 
If you find this after I'm dead... Promise to forget me. Tell a different tale. Maybe the witch just... appeared and our party killed her, saving the day... Armin fought Ashcore on his own, like the talented solider he is. Rainier is the only one that stopped Evindel from killing Caesanna. Caesanna arrived alone to the Kobold job... And nobody knows why Revan keeps having pimps murdered. Its a real mystery.
 
But I beg of you. Forget me.