Today I am Furious
I had a nightmare, a nightmare shared by many of my peers and friends. In it, I was put through so many tortures. It felt so real. I lost control of myself, my body couldn't stop from changing. I felt exposed, I felt naked and ashamed in front of everyone I know. And even though everyone was supportive (which made me cry inside; everyone is far kinder to me than they have a right to be), it was painful. So painful. And then I was back there...
I was chained. I saw everything I had hoped to forget forever. All the pain felt real, like my own nightmares bled into the one I was sharing. I was chained, I saw all the horrible creations, forced chimeras, and terrible things that they had done to all those poor people and animals. That they had done to me. And I knew I was next. I fought and fought but I couldn't break free. Even though Missus Cardinal said it wasn't real, it felt so real that I couldn't stand it. I tore up my wrists to get away. And that's not the only horrible thing. I think I swung at Muse when I had no face. I struck Violet in fear and I felt horrible. I would never willingly hurt her, or Muse, or anyone else. I felt like a monster.
I felt like a monster all over again. Like I was maskerading as a person, something that is never meant to be a real human anymore. People started dying. And when Lady Bella died, something in me broke. I couldn't do anything anymore. I was overcome with exhaustion, so much so that I fell over dead then and there.
And then... And then I woke up before Morwen's cage. He tried to convince us to hate the gods. He tried to convince us to give up. And I got so angry. Not at the gods, but at him. At that scaly mean ass in the cage who played upon all our weaknesses, even if it was just his dreaming mind that did so. But then again, who knows if Morwen lucid dreams or not.
I am angry that I was shamed and exposed. I am angry that I felt so low. I am angry that I was tortured so. I am angry and have no outlet for it and it makes my skin itchy. But if that stupid dragon thinks he can escape, then gods help me I will slam my hammer so hard into his face that I'll knock all his teeth out.
I want to remember this anger, this rage. Cus if I don't I think I will give up entirely. Why do I still live? Just to suffer?
I am tired, so I will rest now. Maybe things will get better.
Seraphina's Journal Ordered oldest to newest
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Today I am Scared, but That is Not That Different From Normal
14th of July, 1883
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Today I am Learning
21st of July, 1883
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T0day I am a Failure
17th of September, 1883
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Today I am Furious
5th of November, 1883
14th of July, 1883
21st of July, 1883
17th of September, 1883
5th of November, 1883
The major events and journals in Seraphina's history, from the beginning to today.
The list of amazing people following the adventures of Seraphina.
Social
Birthplace
???
Current Residence
Noble Quarter, Rosebrier Mansion
Contacts & Relations
Works for Mirabella Rosebriar and sees her like a sister.
Intimately involved with Violet Villeneuve, and has crushes on a few other people.
Wealth & Financial state
Poor
Family Ties
Unofficially adopted daughter of Mourn Stormscale and Isolde St. Clair. Acting big sister to Tristan and Tobias Stormscale.
Religious Views
She regularly visits the temples of Eriu and Nicodemus. She has recently started visiting the temple of Fodla and leaving offerings at the shrine of Elowyn.
Social Aptitude
Shy and inconfident, she is easily intimidated and has trouble speaking up. She is deferential to everyone, apologizing frequently and avoiding confrontation as best she can.
Hobbies & Pets
She has adopted a blink dog named Sam. Sam is 60 years old and blind, and views Sera as a puppy that needs to be looked after. Though she is teaching him Common, they are able to understand each other mostly on an intuitive level.
Speech
She tends to... speak with lots of pauses, umms, ehhs, and ahhs.