Session 58

General Summary

• The party asked Annu a few more questions, which he answered, but then he instructed the party to take a short rest to deal with their "emotional problems".
• The party went upstairs to go through the loot, which was handled as follows:
• The money was split evenly 5 ways (Barry is still an equal member of the team).
• Baxton's signature Embroidered Mantle of Spell Resistance looks great on Dwardazik, but it's too recognizable. Stashed away.
• The Ring of Mind Shielding is great, but it has Baxton's soul currently living in it. He doesn't need more opportunities to trash-talk and listen in on their plans. Stashed.
• Dwardazik can use the Chromatic Wand of Magic Missiles for cases where he really needs a long-range attack option. He had some practice with it, and he actually really enjoyed the power that he felt from it.
• Kesmet will hold onto the Eversmoking Bottle. Where there's smoke, there's Kesmet.
• When they finished with their short rest, they went downstairs to find Annu in the middle of getting chewed out by Rex DeMonte through a communication crystal of some sort. The state of emergency has been declared, and the Firelord now directly controls all four Houses, demoting the former leaders to liaison positions (demoting Annu again for "sass").
• Annu needed to go back to the House of Crystal to receive new orders, so the party was free to leave, but he did mention that Sol is back (though he's not in good shape). He also gave the party an upgraded sending stone that they can use to communicate with Annu once per day, without having to worry about word limits.
• After some shopping, the party also headed to the House of Crystal to meet up with Sol. The building has very confusing architecture, but the House seems to have programmed an artificial sentience into some amethyst crystals, called GIST, to help with navigation.
• GIST needed some time to verify their credentials, so the party went to see what they could find on their own in the library to help Barry. Dazki found a book that might be extremely valuable for this.
• Sol is a wreck, just constantly repeating the same two phrases. Biz Abrak, the second-in-command of the House of Crystal, is there trying to get anything out of him.
• Kesmet managed to get an extremely brief moment of clarity out of him, but all that seemed to do was add a third phrase to his cycle.
• Biz is incredibly pushy and always seems to be in a hurry. He decides on the spot that there might be a surgery that can help with Sol, but it might be dangerous, so they should test on some subjects who have been caught up in Baxton's web and already found guilty of some crimes, enlisting the party to help with that.

 

Full Recap

The session opens with the party back at their estate with Annu still acting as their ward.  

Dazki: So, Annu, what do you know about General Sorda'an?   Annu: What would you like to know?   Dazki: Based on the information that we provided you, and his behavior last night, he definitely seems to have been associated with Baxton somehow, even though he might not have been directly controlled by him. So what are his ambitions? Why would he work with Baxton?   Annu: Sorda'an is a prideful man. He has a tendency towards nepotism.   Kesmet: They're related?!   Annu: They are not, but he has a tendency to give preferential treatment to friends and family close to him.   Dwardazik: Well, of course! Who wouldn't want to favor their own clan over someone else's? That's just common sense!   Annu: Preferential treatment, based on likeness and not merit, is frowned upon.   Dwardazik: Well, of course you never give a dwarf a job if they can't do it. But if you have the choice, keep it in the clan!   Dazki: Do you believe that he is looking to become Firelord?   Annu: I do not.   Dazki: Based on what? I would think this to be a good chance for him to take a great deal of power, should he desire it?   Annu: He does not desire it.   The rest of the party reminds Dazki that Sorda'an was actually the most vocal opponent of declaring the emergency action, as it necessarily involves going to the Firelord and admitting failure.   Annu: Sorda'an has sacrificed greatly to get where he is. I doubt that he would want to relinquish his position so easily.   Dwardazik: Out of curiosity, Annu, have you ever seen the Firelord?   Annu: I have.   Dwardazik: Oh, all right. It's just... there's rumors...   Kesmet: Does he have a beard?   Annu: The firelord has a mane. His avatar form is one of a lion-shaped Tabaxi.   Dwardazik: That's awfully specific. OK. An avatar, though? I knew he was powerful, but to change forms into whatever creature he wants to be?   Grogery: I thought the Firelords were elementals?   Annu: They are. Their forms are often large and unwieldly, so for public events, they typically use the form of an avatar. After all, elements are malleable.   Dwardazik: You'd think that the Firelord would take more interest in the goings-on around the city, instead of delegating all of his tasks to... well, you four, in his council. Honestly, if there would be someone more proactive, then... I'm not saying that the Firelord should be replaced, but maybe he should actually get off his ass and do something.   Annu: I will not speak ill of a superior officer.   Grogery: How did the current Firelord become the Firelord, anyway? There was a previous one.   Dwardazik: Surely, it's a reign of kings?   Annu: The previous Firelord was eliminated, and a new one was appointed.   Dwardazik: Oh, I see. There can only be one, then?   Kesmet, with a bit of fear in his voice: By what were they eliminated?   Dwardazik: Yeah, what would defeat a Firelord?   Annu: I cannot speak of the direct cause of death of the previous Firelord.   Kesmet: I'm pretty sure Dennis isn't powerful enough for that one.   Grogery: Do you not have permission to reveal this information, or is your catalog incomplete?   Annu: I am unable to give you the information, at this time.   Dwardazik: OK, let's take stock. Turmoil is destroyed. Thumbs-up towards Annu. Good, yes? Without having to kill everyone in The Spire of Beasts or fight Morn'Tharur, yeah?   Annu: Those two actions were not my intent.   Dwardazik: You know that's what would happen, though, right? The whole place is made of wood (and a little stone), so you would have lit the whole place up!   Annu: Incorrect.   Dazki: Dwardazik, didn't you want to go see Wendi and Tilda today, if at all possible?   Dwardazik: Of course, but... Wendi. Wendi, Wendi, Wendi...   Annu: You all are still very emotionally and physically distressed.   Dwardazik: How are ya supposed to deal with an enemy who's also your... friend's... sister, eh?   Dazki: We don't know that there was any direct influence.   Dwardazik: No direct influence? They ran away together! She chose their cult, and that damn clan, over her own family.   Dazki: Oh, I thought you meant Baxton.   Dwardazik: Oh... yeah, I'm sure Baxton has some ties into that whole thing anyway.   Grogery: She was using some unusual magic, and her monkey did have that thing with its eye.   Dwardazik: Ugh... knowing her...   Annu: I do have many auxiliary objectives. Perhaps you should rest your minds here, until you are ready to head to the House of Crystal with me.   Dwardazik: So, what, we're under house arrest? We can't leave?   Kesmet: Annu, what other business do we have at the House of Crystal, ourselves? Are we going there to be arrested or incarcerated or something?   Annu: You do not, but I do.   Kesmet: Ahh, OK. So we don't need to fetch anything for you?   Annu: Correct.   Kesmet: OK then.   Grogery: So you said you'd be ward over us until Sorda'an and everyone can make their decision. Are you offering to let us stay at the house while you go take care of House of Crystal business, or are you requesting that we come with you so that you can keep watching us?   Annu: I cannot leave you here unattended. It goes against my secondary objective.   Dwardazik: Then I guess we owe it to you to go over to the...   Annu: I can work here, if you wish to rest and analyze your actions.   Each party member, in turn, signals their intent to just go onto the House of Crystal.   Annu: I highly recommend that you deal with your emotional problems first.   Grogery: So you want us to go talk to Wendi first?   Annu: Incorrect.   Kesmet: You need to be more direct about these things. We don't understand you a third of the time. What do you mean?   Annu: You have been through a lot more than a normal mortal. You will use this time to reflect. Your recent behaviors have been more erratic than usual. This is due to distress.   Dwardazik: It's due to a whole lot of things! Facing a giant dragon as big as a city is one of them.   Dazki: I think he means the distress we encountered during our conversation this morning about him tracking us.   Kesmet: Oh, you thought that was distress? That was a good day!   Dwardazik: Look, do you want us to be dragged along with you to the House of Crystal or not?   Annu: I can work here while you rest.   Dazki: OK, give us one hour, and then we will be ready.   Dwardazik: I disagree! I need an hour and a half, because I'm getting some food! He marches off to the kitchen.   Annu: Take as much time as you need.

  The party goes upstairs to divvy up loot. They distribute the currency five ways (Barry gets a full share).  

Dwardazik: By the mountain! What a day, eh? From being in a dream world, to being in front of a dragon who could swallow us whole... and it's barely even lunch! I tell you, the only thing that feels normal is counting money! I have to say, plenty of dwarves would be pretty impressed with a stack this large. It would take a whole lot of gems to earn something like this.   Dazki: Yeah. We should look into getting a safe, or something like that. A lockbox, for the house.   Dwardazik: Baxton had some powerful magic guarding it. Is there any way we could do something like that? He turns to Kesmet.   Kesmet: Not me. All the magic I know how to do involves burning things, blasting things, and bending fire and heat to make you invisible or fly.   Dwardazik: I guess not...   Grogery: I could probably come up with something like that, actually. It would require preparation and some components.   Dwardazik: Maybe I could hire some craftsmen to reinforce the house. Turn it into a bunker of sorts. Right now, I feel like I'm standing out in a field somewhere, waiting to be pounced on. So many unguarded windows, so many open rooms. It's vulnerable!   Dazki: It's not meant to be a fortress, it's meant to be a palatial estate! Where the wealthy and affluent go to relax.   Dwardazik: If you're looking for a nice place to relax, you should see the King's Hall! Now that's comfort. Also very well guarded.

  Regarding the four items taken from Baxton, all are magical to some degree.

• Kesmet examines the wand.
• Dwardazik tries on Baxton's signature pinstriped cloak.
• Grogery checks out the smoking potion bottle.
• Dazki puts on the ring.

 

Dwardazik: So how do I look, eh? You think this pinstriped cloak matches these fine dwarven clothes? I could get used to wearing the garb of my enemies!   Dazki: It looks a little big on you.   Dwardazik: Hmmph. That just means it's a good cloak, for an important person! And... yes, I might have to hem up the ends, but that's fine.   Dazki: What's so magical about it, anyway?   Dwardazik: Oh, I'll tell you all about it! It's a:

Aeternia

Embroidered Mantle of Spell Resistance

Wondrous Item

Very Rare Requires Attunement

You have advantage on Saving Throws against Spells while you wear this cloak.

This item has been enhanced by intricate embroidery of quicksilver thread on the inside of the cloak, reminiscent to the branching neurons within a brain. While you wear this cloak, you may use a reaction to negate a counterspell directed against a spell you cast from the school of enchantment.  Once it is used in this way, you cannot do so again until you finish a long rest.

  Dazki: Ahh, interesting.   Dwardazik: It is definitely quite powerful, I can say that. What did you all find?   Grogery: I've got one of these:

DnD 5e

Eversmoking Bottle

Wondrous Item

Uncommon

Smoke leaks from the lead-stoppered mouth of this brass bottle, which weighs 1 pound. When you use an action to remove the stopper, a cloud of thick smoke pours out in a 60-foot radius from the bottle. The cloud's area is heavily obscured. Each minute the bottle remains open and within the cloud, the radius increases by 10 feet until it reaches its maximum radius of 120 feet.

The cloud persists as long as the bottle is open. Closing the bottle requires you to speak its Command Word as an action. Once the bottle is closed, the cloud disperses after 10 minutes. A moderate wind (11 to 20 miles per hour) can also disperse the smoke after 1 minute, and a Strong Wind (21 or more miles per hour) can do so after 1 round.

Weight: 1

  Kesmet: Oh, you guys got such cool stuff. All I have is:

Aeternia

Chromatic Wand of Magic Missiles

Wand

Rare

This wand has 7 Charges. While holding it, you can use an action to expend 1 or more of its Charges to cast the Magic Missile spell from it. For 1 charge, you cast the 1st-level version of the spell. You can increase the spell slot level by one for each additional charge you expend.

The wand regains 1d6 + 1 expended Charges daily at dawn. If you expend the wand's last charge, roll a d20. On a 1, the wand crumbles into ashes and is destroyed.

The glass tip of the wand contains a strand of an ever-changing material, giving it additional abilities that are unknown at the moment.

/* CURSE: If at any point 3 or more charges are used on an attack, roll a d6. On a 6, roll on the Turmoil table. That ability happens in addition to the attack of the wand. */

Weight: 1

  Dwardazik: What do you mean, "magic missiles"?   Kesmet: It shoots out a force... thing. It's like a fire, but not as good.   Dwardazik: Is it difficult to use it? Let me try!   Kesmet: I don't think it's difficult... here you go. He gives the wand to Dwardazik.   Dwardazik: Great! Kesmet, give me a target.   Kesmet creates a Minor Illusion of Baxton on the floor.   Dwardazik: Watch this, guys. I'm going for it! Alakaboom! Three translucent magic missiles zip out of the wand, bending to hit their intended target, before impacting on the floor behind it.   Kesmet: See, just regular Magic Missiles. I actually don't have that spell anymore, so I could use it.   Dwardazik: Oh, of course. Sorry for using a charge, I just... I'd never used any magic before. I felt powerful! He flexes.   Kesmet: If you want this magic item, I can see... what's the story with that cloak again? You said it protects against magic?   Dwardazik: Oh yeah, look at this thing. Check out the inside, it's embroidered with some pattern of quicksilver thread! Looks pretty damn cool. He passes it to Kesmet.   Kesmet: Hmm. How does this offer any protection at all? I'm not much into cloaks.   Dwardazik: Well, what do you have there Dazki?   Dazki: This ring is... interesting. It's a:

DnD 5e

Ring of Mind Shielding

Ring

Uncommon Requires Attunement

While wearing this ring, you are immune to magic that allows other creatures to read your thoughts, determine whether you are lying, know your Alignment, or know your creature type. Creatures can telepathically communicate with you only if you allow it.

You can use an action to cause the ring to become Invisible until you use another action to make it visible, until you remove the ring, or until you die.

If you die while wearing the ring, your soul enters it, unless it already houses a soul. You can remain in the ring or depart for The Afterlife. As long as your soul is in the ring, you can telepathically communicate with any creature wearing it. A wearer can't prevent this Telepathic Communication.

  Grogery: Wait... Baxton was wearing that ring!   Dazki: Yep. He's already been trying to talk to me through it.   Grogery: Ohh....   Kesmet: You can keep that.   Dwardazik: Baxton's alive?!   Dazki: No, his soul is just in this ring.   Kesmet: Hahahaha.   Dazki: So if anyone tries to resurrect him, it won't work because his soul is in here.   Grogery: So wait, can he choose to leave?   Dazki: He could choose to leave whenever he wants.   Kesmet: Can he hear us out here, or does he not have any senses?   Dwardazik: Wait, does that mean we can release his soul into something else, capture it there, and then destroy it once and for all?   Grogery: What do you mean, destroy it? You can't kill souls.   Dwardazik: What about the firelord? Hmmph. I don't like the fact that Baxton is here with us, even if he is just a spirit. I say we either get rid of that spirit, or we destroy the ring!   Dazki: Yes and no. On the one hand, the magic of the ring itself is extremely useful and very powerful. If we can communicate with Baxton, we still may be able to get information from him.   Dwardazik: Ahh yes, the extremely useful information that comes from a liar, a cheat, a manipulator.   Dazki, addressing the ring directly: Oh, shut up, you!   Dwardazik: Wait, can he hear us right now?   Dazki: I imagine he can read what's going on my mind and using that to communicate.   Kesmet: Wait, let's test this. Dazki, close your eyes. He does. OK. Baxton ring. How many fingers am I holding up? He holds up 7 fingers.   Grogery: Well, he doesn't necessarily have to tell the truth...   Kesmet: No, no, no, this is foolproof. Baxton, how many fingers am I holding up? Tell Dazki, and then he can tell me.   Dazki: Do you really think Baxton would play along with this, Kesmet?   Kesmet: Well, has he told you a number?   Dazki: No.   Kesmet: OK. Then I guess he can't see, then.   Dwardazik: I don't trust this at all! You're telling me that he could potentially be reading your thoughts?   Dazki: Yes.   Dwardazik: Then he could know all our plans right now! Even as a spirit, he could probably still communicate some other way, couldn't he? I don't like it. That ring is altogether evil. Get that spirit out of here! Grogery, can you banish it?   Dazki: He would have to choose to leave willingly.   Kesmet: What if we used Dispel Magic?   Grogery: I don't think we're powerful enough to do that.   Dazki: I thought disenchanting a magic item took something bigger than a simple Dispel Magic?   Grogery: Yes.   Dwardazik: We don't need to disenchant it outright, we just need to disable it. Right? That would allow his spirit to go elsewhere, and not be in the ring anymore.   Grogery: I don't think we can do one and not the other.   Dwardazik: Are you telling me it's like manacles that can only be locked and never opened again?   Grogery tries a more apt analogy about how things can be harder to take apart than put together, but it flies right over Dwardazik's head.   Dwardazik: Ugh, all this magic stuff... all I know is that Baxton's spirit is in the ring, and I don't feel comfortable about that. Regardless, Dazki, you're the one holding onto it. Not me.   Grogery: On the one hand, it probably wouldn't be able to read our thoughts from within the Bag of Holding. On the other, it seems like a pretty terrible thing to put a soul without a body through.   Dazki: Is it any more terrible than what he did?   Grogery: If the goal is to get him to give us information, it probably won't help to put him into a sensory deprivation chamber.   Dazki: All he's doing right now is sitting there making fun of you guys.   Grogery: Well, we can't hear him, so there's only so much damage he can do.   Dwardazik: That bastard! He's making fun of me, even though I... helped... defeat him?   Kesmet: Wait. I have a brilliantly evil idea. Let me hold onto it, so he has to listen to my thoughts all day. He's never talked to me before, anyway, so I'll be fine!   Dwardazik: Dazki was closest to Baxton, so I'm going to trust you on this one. What do you feel we should do with the ring?   Dazki: We're keeping the ring, but I'm not going to be attuned to it. If we need it in the future, we can figure it out then, but until then, we don't have to hear him, and he doesn't have to hear us. Remember, he's not "trapped" there, he can leave at any time.   Dwardazik: Seems fair to me.   Grogery: All right.   Dazki is no longer attuned to the ring.

  The party has some tactical discussions about how to distribute the items. Final decisions:

• Keep the cloak stowed away while in the city, since it's probably too recognizable.
• The ring is evil and concerning, so it's also staying in the stash.
• Dwardazik will use the wand, since he has very few other long-range options.
• There was discussion about maybe having Grogery use the smoke bottle for dire situations, to give more time (and cover) for emergency heals, but ultimately Kesmet is going to hold onto it.

  Dazki goes to check up on Barry to make sure he's still doing OK. Barry said that nobody's home, so it's all good. With that, the party goes downstairs to regroup with Annu.  

I'M NOT YELLING, YOU'RE YELLING

  Laid out on the table in the den are a variety of workstations, each resting atop a wooden tray, fitted like various writing desks. One holds his journal that he was working on before, another holds stacks of documents and various logs, and another holds books and various writing implements. Annu seems to be conversing with a very angry-looking crystal on a brass stand. The crystal is made of amethyst, and its core seems to be glowing with a fiery orange color. Whoever is on the other side of this crystal is very mad. An unseen servant is swapping Annu's stations around, but it looks like Annu is getting yelled at by whoever's on the other side of that crystal.   The party listens in on the conversation. There are curse words strewn throughout, in Primordial.  

Rex DeMonte: I've already told you, I've declared executive order over the four superior Houses. Until this mess is cleaned up, you and the other three heads will be demoted to managerial liaison positions within the House. While I have the Houses, there will be a reevaluation in order to determine if House delegates should be reinstated or replaced. Until then, you don't so much as piss without begging my permission. You got all that?   Annu: I understand, Lord DeMonte. What will become of my current objectives? Do you require debriefing?   Rex: I care little for your previous objectives! You now do what I decree!   Annu: Understood. What is it you decree?   Rex: Were you not listening? You've got ears in there, don't you?   Annu: I did not receive an official declaration of new tasks. You only assigned me to a position, with no major jobs pending, and removed my current assignments.   Rex: I don't understand what minuscule, teensy bit of respect Scaldos has for you. Did he assign you here just to irritate me?   Annu: That was not his intent.   Rex: Look. Your main thing is using your "skills and insight" from keeping this very thing from happening. You fail so bad, OH SO BAD. And now you take pleasure in pissing me off! If you are inadequate, you will go back to being a useless ornament in cold storage. You do realize that, don't you? You're smart enough.   Annu says nothing, merely waiting for the angry voice to answer his previous question.   Rex: ARRGH. Focus on cleaning up this mess. I'll just give my orders to Abrak instead. You work under Biz Abrak, now. How do you like that? At least he can deal with your sass.   Annu: As you decree, Lord DeMonte.

  The crystal stops glowing. Annu's unseen servant begins packing up his trays of writing implements.  

Grogery: I take it that a state of emergency was declared?   Annu: This is correct. Sorda'an has done so poorly.   Dazki: Did you expect anything different from him?   Annu: Indeed, his competency has been worse as of late.   Dwardazik: That was pretty rough, Annu. As much as you can be a pain in the ass to deal with, it didn't sound too good.   Annu: I do not wish ill upon a superior officer, but... sometimes one's immortality can be a curse to those around them.   Dwardazik: Right... so how are you doing, then? Are you OK?   Annu: I am the same.   Dwardazik: All right. So. What's the plan?   Annu: I will be underutilized by the government, leaving me more time to focus on auxiliary pursuits.   Dazki: What are some of these auxiliary pursuits?   Dwardazik: I was trying to be a bit more tactful than this, but... didn't you... just... lose all your "auxiliary pursuits"?   Annu: I lost many of my governmental objectives.   Dwardazik: Oh, I see. Different word, same thing. So what are your plans now, Annu? Are we still under house arrest?   Annu: All of my objectives have been eliminated. It seems you are now wardless.   Kesmet: Let's get the fuck out of this city and go to the Waterscar. I need to meet a man there about a dog.   Dwardazik: You know as well as I do that we have to stop this Turmoil from spreading. Baxton was only the beginning, and this might be an opportunity to allow Annu to have a bit more free reign, eh? So Annu, now that all your governmental responsibilities are gone, --   Annu: Incorrect.   Dwardazik: Now that all your governmental objectives are gone, --   Annu: My current objectives have been removed, but Biz Abrak is a capable member of the government. I am certain that he will give me the appropriate objectives.   Dwardazik: OK, just going to cut straight to it, then. Has anything changed in your ability to tell us information, in general?   Annu: We can speak more... candidly, now that I have time off of work.   Dwardazik: Right, I was just wondering if you could tell us more about Turmoil and other details, without it being "classified".   Annu: You are still my outside advisors. You may ask your questions and I will do my best to answer them.   Dwardazik: Kesmet. Grogery. Dazki. What say you? Do we pursue our leads on Turmoil? Frankly, I don't know exactly how to proceed. We seem to be at a crossroads, many different potential paths to take.   Dazki: The most direct path we have is the one with the traveling "healer".   Dwardazik: That is true.   Grogery: If that takes us out of the city, then we may want to address a handful of things still here, like making sure Wendi is OK.   Dwardazik: What do we know about this healer? What is the situation again?   Dazki: We don't know a whole lot, other than, he goes from town to town, "healing" people.   Annu: And what is the relationship between this individual and your outbursts earlier?   Dazki: The cause of those outbursts gave us information. They said that finding this individual will guide us to at least one more aspect of Turmoil on this plane, like what Baxton was. Baxton was not the only one who was working towards similar objectives and corruption on this plane.   Annu: What of this other location that you referred to earlier?   Dazki: Yeah, I don't really know anything about it. It was a giant, red sand desert.   Dwardazik: It looked like a desert of death. Nothing existed. The sky was dark... it just seemed otherworldly. I hate sand.   Annu: If it is your current intent to leave this city, allow me to give you something to better communicate between us.   Dwardazik: We're just brainstorming right now, but that seems to be our best lead. Anyone else have any ideas on that?   Dazki: No, but like Grogery said, there's a few things we should take care of in the city first, and make sure we aren't being accused of treason before we leave. Fleeing before that kind-of looks bad.   Dwardazik: OK, then let's resolve that first. How do we deal with our current legal predicament? Didn't you say that if Sorda'an used his special powers, --   Annu: He now has the capability to bypass the court system, mostly.   Dwardazik: So we should head over there for a meeting and get this sorted, right?   Dazki: He's definitely not going to be friendly to us, that's the problem.   Dwardazik: But we have Annu! We just helped destroy the Turmoil, right?   Annu: He is perfectly capable of doing it on his own.   Dwardazik: You're not going to represent us, in any way?   Annu: I have already given counsel.   Dwardazik: Excuse me, but did you not just see us solve yet another domestic issue with Turmoil without any casualties? And it was destroyed without interference? We're the good guys, surely you could vouch for us!   Dazki: What he's saying is that we may need other people besides him to vouch for us as well, to help sway Sorda'an. Now I know Gilda is on our side.   Annu: An individual of my station is ranked below his, currently. Luckily, when I counseled him before, we were on equal footing.   Grogery: What about Sol?   Dazki: I don't know if he's back yet, but he is below Al, so we would need to get somebody above him.   Annu: Sol is also above my current station.   Grogery: But Sol at least can talk to Al.   Annu: Sol is back, but unresponsive.   Grogery: Oh?   Dazki: Three important questions. One: where is Sol? Two: where is Gilda? Three: is Rosalin with Gilda?   Annu: I do not know the answers to all of your questions. I do know that Sol is back from... a fishing trip... which we both know is an odd-seeming move.   Dazki: ...yes.   Annu: Something had scared the fishermen into returning early.   Dazki: Do we know where Sol is?   Annu: He is currently in the House of Crystal under observation. He is showing severe delusion, and we want to make sure he does not harm himself or others. I must say, the documents you handed me have proven quite correct.   Dazki: Which ones were those?   Annu: The documents pertaining to the possible corruption of individuals within the government structure.   Dazki: Good. So, then for the other questions. Gilda and Rosalin?   Annu: I do not know where they are.   Dazki: So I think our decision remains the same. Let's head to the House of Crystal.   Dwardazik: So be it.   Annu: It is no longer necessary for you to follow me, or for me to follow you.   Dwardazik: So we're free to go?   Annu: Correct.   Dwardazik: So... hmmph.   Annu: I must go to the House of Crystal to receive my new official duties, but first, I would like to give you something to make communication easier between us. I will not be able to accompany you on your journeys, as I am bound here. The quarry we use for Turmoil elimination is approximately as far from Ashport as I can go.   Dazki: Understood.   Annu pulls out, from his pocket dimension, an amethyst crystal. It looks similar to the one he was using for communicating with Rex earlier, but smaller.   Annu: This operates similar to a sending stone. It is linked to my crystal, but unlike most sending stones, it has no word limit. However, once activated, it cannot be used until the next day. Its power source is vastly limited compared to my own crystal.   Dazki: Still, that is very helpful.   Dwardazik: You make it sound like this is just nothing of interest. It's a very powerful item!   Grogery: So would this only be able to communicate with you?   Annu: Correct.   Grogery: And only once per day?   Annu: Correct.   Grogery: But you can respond?   Annu: I can.   Grogery: And could you send to us, from your stone to this one?   Annu: I can do so.   Grogery: This is pretty convenient! If it's in the Bag of Holding, can you still send to us through the stone?   Annu: The stone does not care about what dimension it is in. The message can transcend.   Grogery: So we can put it in our bag, and we can still hear you if you send to us.   Dwardazik: Well, then. I suppose this is where we part ways, then. For now. I'd like to say it's been a pleasure, but frankly, that would be lying.   Dazki: Well, we're heading to the House of Crystal as well. Not completely parting ways just yet.   Dwardazik: Let's go, then.   Grogery: Thank you for providing us this easy way of communication.   Dazki: And thank you for the trust you are placing in us.   Annu: Your gratitude is unnecessary. A proper decision is a reward in and of itself.   Dwardazik: Well, I'm off to go get ready to get a cab. Do we need to tell Barry anything?   Grogery: We should rope him into the loop. Wait, he's gone, isn't he? Off delivering the thing?   Dazki: No, he's just up in Fort Barryworth.   Annu: Where is Fort Barryworth? I do not know this individual.   Dazki: It's not an individual you need to be concerned with.   Annu: I am concerned with any individual I do not know.   Dwardazik: Did I ever tell you about my grandpappy?   Dazki: He is merely a local guide.   Annu: You will go to Fort Barryworth first, then?   Dazki: And with that, we will see you at the House of Crystal. Good luck.   Annu: Good bye.   Annu floats over to the door, removes the arcane lock that he had put there, and floats on out.   Grogery: He locked us in our own house? Without our permission?   Dwardazik: Well, I did ask him to help make it more secure... OK, so let's get to the House of Crystal.   Grogery: Should we settle our affairs in Ashport before we head to the House of Crystal, just in case we get deemed traitors and have to leave in a hurry? Or do we want to just try to get that over with as soon as possible?   Dwardazik: I don't want to do this side stuff. Let's get it over with, I just want to know if I'm going to be hanged or not.   Dazki: I'm good with that.   Grogery: All right.   They go upstairs to talk to Barry and let him know where they're going, and also to give him his portion of the money.   Barry: This seems like a lot of gold for sitting here and being quiet.   Dazki: You were protecting our home. It's an equal part of the reward for an equal member of the party.   Barry: If you're trying to buy my love... it's working a little.   Dazki: We're not trying to buy your love. We're just trying to be fair with our friends.   Dwardazik: Just make sure you understand how much you got, there, all right? Those ones over there aren't silver. That's platinum! It's different.   Barry: I know what a platinum is! What do you take me for?   Dwardazik: I take you for someone who doesn't use platinum all the often. Just make sure you don't confuse it with silver.   Dazki: Barry, while we're at the House of Crystal, we may have access to their libraries. One of the things I intend to do is to try to follow through with my promise: look for things that might tell us more information about what happened to you and how to reverse it.   Barry: I'm just worried that... like, what if I suck? What if this is the best it's going to get?   Dazki: It's not. It'll get better.   Barry: I don't know, like, I could really... there's some really sucky people. What if I'm a sucky person? What if I'm ugly? Like, uglier than this?   Dazki: Well, that's what the Hat of Disguise is for! You get to keep that, regardless.   Grogery: Here's the thing, Barry. Sometimes, all that's needed in order to be a better person is to have a chance to experience that life.   Barry: Yeah, but you can't fix ugly.   Grogery: Yes you can, that's what the Hat of Disguise is for.   Barry: Oh yeah. You can totally fix ugly.   Grogery: But if you're concerned about being a bad person, then... you're a good man Barry.   Barry: Yeah, maybe I'm a good man now, but what if past me, like, is a cannibal or something?   Dazki: Well then you can choose to no longer be past you, and you can be current you instead.   Barry: I can?   Dazki: Of course.   Barry: Well... that changes things. I would like to not be a fish person, very badly!   Dazki: And we are going to do everything we can to make sure that happens.   Barry: OK. Don't murder anyone I wouldn't!   Dazki: Haha. Same to you.   Barry: OK. Good.   Dazki: Actually, those blackmail documents... can I look through them real quick?

  Dazki scans through the blackmail documents, looking specifically for anything on Sorda'an to figure out what his deal was. There's a lot of collaboration, mostly in Baxton's "if I go down, you're going down with me" category. Piecing it together...   So, we know that Baxton held Gilda Lily's sister as a hostage. Sorda'an also has (or had?) a family. Annu's words earlier, about "nepotism" and "favoritism", maybe those words were just Annu's way of describing that Sorda'an might have been in the same kind of situation: Baxton might have had something on his family. Specifically, Sorda'an has a son, who is very ill, with something unnatural. Baxton knew about it, apparently... we can't tell if Baxton caused this illness, or if it existed from before that Sorda'an was hiding, and Baxton figured it out. It could honestly go either way.  

Dwardazik: If that reads true, a lad caring about his kinsmen is something to be honored.   Grogery: This feels gross, but... if it comes to this, if it looks like Sorda'an is going to sentence us to life in prison...   Dazki: I am not going to use this.   Dwardazik: That would only justify his sentence.   Grogery: We could destroy it, or offer to help his son or something?   Dazki: Offering help, possibly, but I'm not going to use it as blackmail.   Dwardazik: Just a moment. Grogery is a skilled healer, and it doesn't indicate at all what the illness is... does it?   Dazki: Nope.   Dwardazik: Is there any way we could find that information? Annu!   Grogery: He's gone.   Dwardazik: Grab the crystal!   Grogery: DWARDAZIK. We can only use this once per day. Don't you think it might be more useful... AFTER we talk with Sorda'an first?   Dwardazik: FINE.   While this is all going on, Kesmet is just grabbing dagger after dagger out of the Bag of Holding. He's a dagger guy now. He uses daggers.   Dwardazik: Dazki, would your contacts in the underworld be able to identify what this blackmail material actually is?   Dazki: As far as the illness, probably not.   Dwardazik: Then how could we gather that information quickly? I don't know where his family lives, and frankly, it would seem rather intimidating if we were to just show up even if we did.   Dazki: I don't know, but we definitely need to go to the House of Crystal to see how...   Grogery: Oh man, you know what? His son has an abnormal illness, right? If it's something that a normal cleric can deal with, then, cool, we save the day. If not, then we know of this plague doctor guy wandering around. Maybe we say, "oh, how about if we can go find this guy and see if we can have him help your son".   Dwardazik: A creative way to manipulate the facts.   Grogery: Well, it's true. If someone is able to help this many people, then we should at least look into it to see if it's legit. Think of all the good that it could do. It doesn't sound like a very Turmoil thing to just fix people and not leave any lingering problems.   Dwardazik: It seems like a good thing to bring up, if we need to.   Dazki: First, we need to see what we can do for Sol. I'd also like to check to see if Gilda and... oh, I never actually told you guys this, come to think of it. You know the Red Lady, Rosalin? Nobody can know of this except us... Rosalin is Gilda Lily's half-sister. She's a half-elf, not a full elf. I wasn't certain until I saw both of them in the same room, and then once I saw them next to each other, it was crystal clear.   Kesmet, whispering: Rosalin was the one with the now-fucked-up eye, right?   Dazki: Yeah. It took me a bit -- usually when I see illegitimate half-elven children, they're next to their elven siblings, not their human siblings.   Dwardazik: I'll have to say, there's more to this than appears.   Dazki: Rosalin was being held hostage by Baxton, and that's how Baxton was able to get Gilda to do stuff that he wanted.   Grogery: And he was trying to hold Sol hostage to manipulate Al, then?   Dazki: Yeah.   Dwardazik: Baxton is just altogether evil.   Dazki: His methods are absolutely evil, yes. I don't think he necessarily started out that way, though.   Dwardazik: Let's go figure out what's the deal with Sol!

 

They Went Shopping First, Instead

 

• Grogery bought 900gp worth of diamond dust.
• Kesmet bought a bandolier for his daggers, since he's a dagger guy now. It can hold 6 at a time, plus two in his pocket. So he can always hold 8 daggers at a time.
• Kesmet also bought 8 small healing potions and 20 different daggers.
• The party also ordered a safe to hold their currency, to be delivered to the house later.
• And probably other stuff too that we just don't know about.

 

Crystal Clarity

  The columns in front of the House of Crystal are adorned with large amethyst crystals that catch the light upon a large bronze orrery that sits in the vestibule. Upon entering the House of Crystal, there's a lot of people milling about, nervously, with some amount of chaos. There are no Fireguard here, which seems odd: they've all been reallocated to somewhere else. People all seem to be trying frantically to figure out how to deal with their new objectives.   There is a large donut-shaped desk in the middle, like a reception desk. Sitting in the middle, instead of a person, is a large solid smooth pillar of translucent amethyst.   Dwardazik looks at the pillar in awe, as he approaches closer to put his hand on it. As he does, a nondescript female-looking form appears, as if light or illusion from within the pillar.  

GIST: Greetings, guests! How may I assist you today?   Dwardazik jumps back 5 feet, fists up.   Dazki: We're looking for Sol DeWork. We heard he was here?   Dwardazik: Why are you talking to it?!   Dazki: This is clearly a magic person... thing.   GIST: That's such a good question! He is indeed on the premises! Do you have any documentation that would allow you to see him at this time?   Dazki: Can you message Annu Adabra? He can vouch for us.   GIST: OK! I'll do that right quick! Is there anything else I can do for you? My name is Gem-based Illusory Secretary of Transience, by the way! "GIST", for short!   Dwardazik: OK, I actually have a question for you...   GIST: Well you just go right along ahead, there!   Dwardazik: Yes, this crystal that you are occupying. Where was this found? A crystal of this size and shape would be in a king's keep! Truly a gem of this size is magnificent... is it natural?   GIST: Oh, it sure would be magnificent if it were natural! But no, it is formed from a few different gems, combined together! Isn't it pretty? Everything's great!   Dwardazik: That's a shame. It is a beautiful work of art, but if it's made by magic... that's just cheating.   GIST: The imperfections in a natural stone make it quite difficult to perform such a complicated illusion within it.   Dwardazik: Right... well... the wind has been taken out of my sail.   GIST: That's OK! I'm sure there are lots of bigger gems! Perhaps in the library, you can read all about gems! The library is located in floor 2B!   Dazki: Where is information about the history of Turmoil?   Dwardazik: Uh, can we ask that here?   GIST: Are you guys looking to peruse the grand library?   Dazki: Yes.   GIST: There have been lots of recent additions from the other library that was destroyed recently. Such a shame. It's a lot better when things get built, instead of destroyed. ...unless you want to destroy 'em. I'm not here to judge! I'm here to direct you to locations!   Dwardazik: I'm tryin' to speak, here, and I don't appreciate you interrupting me! I would like to go to the library! 2B?   GIST: Oh yeah, it's just over up that stairwell, over to the left, there. As she says this, a light illuminates the stairwell and a path leading to it.   Dazki: Will you or someone else be able to contact us in the library as soon as we are granted permission to see Sol?   GIST: There are many crystals of me scattered throughout the House. If you wish to speak with me again, simply approach one of the crystals and ask a question.   Dwardazik: There are MORE of these?!   Kesmet: "Crystals of me"?!   Dazki: Very well, then. Thank you!   GIST: I am GIST, and you have a good day!   Dwardazik: I have to say, that was a mighty fine crystal, though. A shame it was made by magic. But... so many of 'em? This place must be worth a fortune!   Grogery: Well, it is part of the palace after all.   Dwardazik: No doubt, but this must be one of the richest houses in all the city. Well... 2B!

  In the library, there is another crystal in this room. It's like a large reception area. This one has a person in addition to a crystal. An older-looking elven lady tends the desk. Dazki approaches, with a smile.  

Librarian: Yeah, what do you want?   Dazki: Is there a card catalog?   Librarian: I'm the card catalog.   Dazki: All right. Books about Turmoil and Turmoil-related legends?   Librarian: You gotta be more specific than that, honey. It's quite a big library.   Dazki: People that have been affected by Turmoil, how it has affected them, things like that?   Dwardazik: Sounds even more vague, to me.   Dazki: The effects of Turmoil on the...   Kesmet: On the mortal body.   Dazki: Yes, that's it. Thank you Kesmet.   Dwardazik: Ahh, that sounds like a medical book. That might be good.   Librarian: I... yeah. I'm just gonna direct you to the area where a lot of those books are. I can't be assed right now. You're not being specific enough.   Grogery: Well, maybe we just don't know enough to know how to be specific.

  The librarian creaks out of her chair. She's small, for an elf. Perhaps time has eroded her. She leads the party to an area of the library. She won't let anyone be in the library unsupervised.   Dwardazik looks for something secret. He finds a book, but it's really high up... he gets Grogery to help him reach it, and they do manage to get it down, but they wind up knocking over a lot of other books and making a big mess in the process. The book wasn't even what he thought it was, so... nothing there. It seems like some sort of a steamy romance novel (what kind of dwarven name is "Suavio"?). Dwardazik engrosses himself in it anyway, because of how much effort it took to get it.   Dazki looks around for books related to Barry's condition, as far as Turmoil goes, changing people's bodies, and ways to change it back. Lots of those kinds of books are checked-out by others in the House (given current events, it's not hard to guess why), but Dazki still somehow manages to catch a glance at one in particular. He picks it up and starts reading, taking diligent notes, notes about this book and notes about the other books that were in the same area.   There have been lots of instances of Turmoil affecting tribesmen in the north, so a lot of information comes from there, from a researcher living among the tribes. Which explains why it was ignored by those in the House: what kind of information could you possibly hope to attain from those kooky savages over there?   Kesmet looks around for books on werewolf weaknesses. He does find a book about werewolves, but there's an awful lot of pictures in it, and it has a rhyme scheme. That's probably not the best way to disseminate information, but... it's easy to read!   They approach the crystal after a while.  

GIST: Oh, hi, guys! It's you again!   Dazki: Do we have permission to see Sol yet?   GIST: Yeah! You can, sure. I'm told it's not going to be very useful, though.   Dazki: Could you guide us to him?   GIST: You betcha! A line of lights leads outward.

  The lights lead you deeper into the House of Crystal, which isn't laid out nearly as efficiently as the House of Stone or House of Steel that they were in before. Eventually, you are led to something like a medical wing, where some muffled voices are speaking on the other side of a door. You imagine that this area would be heavily patrolled by Fireguard and perhaps other guards, but they aren't here right now.   Dwardazik knocks, and the muffled conversation briefly stops. Nobody answers, and the conversation picks up again. One of the voices is Sol DeWork. "Let's go in!", and they open the door.   The room is something like what we would consider a doctor's office. A little research area. Sol is sitting frustratedly in a chair, his head resting in his hands, though The Mark of the Disfigured Man is still clearly visible. He seems ill or dizzy. There is also a dark-skinned, irritated-looking gnome with a walking stick. It's Biz Abrak.  

Biz: You gotta tell me more, lad. You got to. Think REAL hard.   Dazki: I'm no medical expert, but pressuring someone who's having issues like that is usually not the best way to get results.   Biz, pointing his cane up at Dazki, not quite reaching up to his chest: Ayy, what do you know, and what are you doin' in here?   Dazki: We are friends of Sol and we are here to see him.   Biz: About what? Come on! Spit it out! I ain't got no time!   Dazki: We heard he was here and that he was unwell, so we came to check up on our friend.   Biz: OK, look. He's here, and he's unwell. We good?   Dwardazik: We are NOT good, ill-mannered short person!   Dazki, pointing at Sol's mark around his eye: That right there says he's been affected by Baxton and the Turmoil bullshit that's been going on lately, now, doesn't it?   Biz: Wow, you're so smart! Do they give you degrees for using TWO eyeballs? Do they? We got shit to do, we don't got time for this small talk!   Dazki: They hand out as many degrees for that as they do for all the lip that you're giving us.   Biz: Oooooh...   Dwardazik: Everyone calm down.   Dazki: Yes, we know some stuff about this. We had some dealings with Baxton and things like that.   Dwardazik: Why don't we simply ask Sol? Now, Sol, is this a bad time? Can we talk through a couple of things right now?   Sol: I'm so terribly sorry, I deeply apologize.   Dazki: What are you apologizing for?   Sol: I'm so sorry. Very unprofessional of me. I know it's my job to be a professional, and to do professional things, with professional people.   Dazki: We all need a break sometimes. It's OK. Can you tell us what happened?   Sol: And I need to be a professional. I work with professional people, and I'm a professional... I'm so sorry.   Kesmet casts Dispel Magic on him. It does nothing.   Biz: We've heard this part already! Skip to the part where you give me more information!   Grogery examines him medically. There's something in his brain... not a mental condition, there's literally something Turmoil-related that's physically manifesting itself there. Recall that Annu had said that there's still a piece of Baxton residing in there, but it's now untamed, so it's just doing random stuff now.   Dazki: I did find this book in the library, related to people who have been affected by Turmoil. Maybe it could help?   Dwardazik: Why not have him simply drink a bunch of pure water?   Biz: Pure water is easily contamina-- GIVE ME THAT BOOK! He starts jumping up to try to take it from Dazki. Dazki gives it down to him.   Biz frantically rifles through the book, back and forth, looking for anything.   Dazki: Of course, it doesn't seem like any of your people have been able to--   Biz: SHUT UP, I'm trying to read! He murmurs to himself a little. Yes. This is good! I like this! You got a brain up there. You really do.   Dazki: Well, thank you. So what can be done to help our current predicament with our friend here?   Biz: Uh. Well, it's complicated medicine stuff, right?   Dazki: Well, we do have a cleric of Pelor here. I'm sure he'd be willing to help with the "complicated medicine stuff".   Biz: You know surgery, son? I know your goblin fingers, for the dexterity, but do you know surgery?   Grogery: Umm, I have --   Biz: You dexterous?   Grogery: Usually, magic takes --   Biz: Just answer the question!!   Grogery: NOT PARTICULARLY!   Sol: I'm so sorry. I'm a professional, and I do professional things, and I couldn't do the professional things.   Grogery: You did do the professional things, and I'm so proud of you!   Sol: I'm sorry.   Biz: Look, we got volunteers already lined up for the procedure. If we can isolate it within the thing, we might be able to just remove it in one big chunk. Then the damage would heal itself, right? Right, the goblin?   Grogery: I mean, we --   Biz: RIGHT? You gotta answer me quicker than that, son, we ain't got no time!   Grogery: I'm not very good with surgery stuff, that would be more a Dazki thing, also, who the heck are you?   Biz: WHO THE HECK AM I? WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?   Grogery: My name is Grogery, and I am a cleric to Pelor. These are my --   Biz: Oh, no last name? Just "Grogery"? I'm just gonna look up and go, "Is there a 'Grogery'?" "What's his last name?" "I'm not sure!" "We've got lots of 'Grogery's" "No it's just 'Grogery'!"   Grogery: I am Grogery of the Daointaar family, so there.   Biz: About time I get some straight answers. You gotta speak quicker! They call me Biz.   Grogery: Biz?   Biz: Yeah, Biz. But I don't like you as much, so you can call me "Mr. Abrak".   Kesmet: Wait... "abracadabra"...   Grogery: OK, Mr. Abrak, what are you trying to get us to do?   Biz: You said you're a healer, you said you're good with medicine?   Grogery: Yeah, but I'm not really good at the "putting knives in people" part of it. I'm good at the part where I wave my arms around and then the holy light of Pelor just heals them.   Biz: Well, good! Then we can talk to you at the end once it's all done.   Grogery: Yes.   Dwardazik: If I may interject, Mr. Abrak? Perhaps Grogery could be here and provide assistance in the recovery efforts during the surgery? Just to ensure that nothing goes wrong.   Biz: We're not operating on Sol, let's get that STRAIGHT out of the way right now. This is incredibly dangerous. We need... data.   Dwardazik, approaching Sol: Sol, let me see your eye. I want to see your eye. I want to see the condition of it. We've dealt with Turmoil before, we're not going to be offended by it.   Sol: I'm really sorry...   Dwardazik: Snap out of it, lad, and let me see your eye already!   Sol: I'm supposed to be a professional... and I do professional things...   Dwardazik grabs him by the shoulders, shaking him a little.   Dwardazik: Snap out of it, man!   Kesmet: Sol. Sol. Look at me. Look at me. ... ... It is the weekend. You have the day off. You do not have to be a professional all the time. You can relax.   Sol looks up to lock eyes with Kesmet.   Sol: I thought it was Wednesday? I'm so terribly late... I'm sorry.   Dwardazik: Well, there you go. Chin up!   Kesmet: Are you feeling a little bit better? Is your mind just... are you feeling a little better?   Sol: I can make up the extra time I missed... I can make up the extra time that I missed...   Dazki: That's not important right now. What's important is, how are you doing?   Sol: It is the weekend. I have the day off.   Dazki: Are you feeling well?   Biz: The lad's fucking useless right now! He's fucking useless! He won't answer a goddamn thing! Now are we gonna go experiment on some folks, or what? Come on, come on! Time is money, money is time, money is knowledge, all this other bullshit, whatever makes you --   Dwardazik: Would you be quiet? For a moment, would you just be quiet? Now, then...   Biz: You are walkin a FINE LINE there, son.   Dwardazik: Hmm. We could either bring up the traveling doctor, we could try to resolve this issue ourselves, or we could use additional information from the book and see if that gives us an approach we could take.   Dazki: I say look through the book and see what else the people here in the House of Crystal have been able to figure out.   Dwardazik: It seems pretty nasty. If we can find a solution to this, then Rosalin and all those others who have been hurt by Baxton might all be healed at the same time.   Biz: Great, now we all have the same goal, CAN WE ALL GO DO SURGERY? I got, like, 3 guys. We can test, like, ALL SORTS OF SHIT on 'em, it's fine.   Dazki: I understand this is an emergency, but is live experimentation on sentients really a good idea?   Biz, waving his hand around: They've already been found guilty, and they agreed to lesser sentences if they'd let us try to cure them. What do you want me to do, NOT do research and just have everybody go crazy and their brains explode?! Is that what you want?   Kesmet: He makes a convincing argument.   Dazki: I'm just asking ethical questions.   Dwardazik walks over to Dazki and starts addressing him quietly.   Dwardazik: Do you think that "the ring" might give us anything useful here?   Dazki: Doubt it. It would take me 10 minutes to attune to it, you guys could look at the other patients and see if there's anything we can do with them.   Biz: OK. So. There's this thing, in there, like a monkey in a cage, all right? And if you keep the monkey in the cage, then everything's fine. But now the guy that makes the monkey cages... he's fuckin' dead now, right? So now the monkey's just goin' everywhere! You gettin' me, son? Just everywhere! He's throwin' shit, he's leavin' banana peels all up in there, it's not gonna go well. It's not a place for a monkey to be!   Kesmet: You went from shit to banana peels... that feels like deescalation.   Biz: Every second I'm here tryin' to explain bullshit to you is a monkey flingin' shit in somebody's brain RIGHT NOW.   Grogery: Are we... talking about a literal monkey, here?   Biz: I can't... I can't even...   Dwardazik: Biz, could you --   Biz: Mr. Abrak.   Dwardazik: Could you describe what you're going to do to these other volunteers? We're trying to understand! We have a lot of experience with Turmoil, just not curing it.   Biz: Look. I'm gonna try to explain it to you, but only because I like you guys, --   Dwardazik: Let us try to help you. If we can't, then we'll get out of your way.   Biz: --, and you brought me a healer, which is gonna really make things easy. So we're gonna go up in there, with all our surgical tools, and we're gonna CATCH. THAT. MONKEY. All right?   Dwardazik: We're going to physically remove the Turmoil, right?   Biz: Yes.   Dwardazik: OK. So the question is, is it something that can be removed physically, or is it something that might be damaging... more?   Biz: See, that's the issue we're trying to figure out with the experiments, right? Because Turmoil's not, like, a physical thing. But, like, you can figure out where it's been and what it's been doing, based on the shit and bananas it's left behind. You can track it!   Dwardazik: But maybe we're thinking about it wrong!   Biz: Maybe YOU'RE thinking about it wrong, but I sure as shit am not, so...   Dwardazik: HOW did Baxton create the cage?   Biz: I mean, that's... you answer that question, you win all the pies, kid. I don't know.   Dazki: OK, he shoved a little slug into people's eyeballs. A physical manifestation of Turmoil.   Biz: Yeah, but how did he get the monkey in the cage, smartass?   Sol: I'm so sorry, I will make up the extra time when... 'cause, like, today is my day off, and I'm not supposed to work today...   Dazki: OK, let's go root around in people's brains.   Biz: That's the spirit!   Dwardazik: My concern is this. What if we can recreate the cage and then shrink the cage, and then continue to shrink the cage until we force the Turmoil out?   Biz: That just crushes the monkey and gets monkey guts everywhere. I don't think that's good.   Dwardazik: Then we have someone standing by ready to pick the guts and incinerate it, by the plane of Fire, but think about it...   Biz: Well if you can do that, then why wouldn't you just burn the monkey, then? You gotta really think things through before you say all this bullshit out of your mouth, because people are going to listen to you saying this bullshit, and they're gonna be like, "that guy's a dumbass!".   Dwardazik: Baxton was a wizard, right? Is there a magical solution to this before we do cleric things?   Biz puts up one finger.   Shortly after, he puts up a second finger.   Biz: You see these fingers? Every time a finger shows up, a monkey shits in someone's brain.   Four fingers.   Dazki: OK, let's go see what we can figure out from some of our "brave" "volunteers".   Biz: I've RUN OUT of fingers on this hand. I guess this guy is shit-for-brains now!   Kesmet: OK, our two remaining volunteers, then. Let's go.   Six fingers.   Grogery: Let's go hopefully cure some people.   Dwardazik: Sigh. Let's see what we can find out.   Sol: Because I can find extra time on Sunday.   Biz: Ahh, give it up, lad.