Long Nights - Maira Lawson

It’s been a long night. 
Maira’s back aches, muscle spasms twitching and tensing under her brace. She can’t train without it, but she hates the feeling of the sweat that collects underneath the molded plastic, the way the edges cut into her skin if she moves the wrong way.
She has to work even harder than the other cadets, because every move they use she needs to modify. Contrary to what her siblings might think, she does know her limits. She knows what will make her hurt too badly to move the next day, and she avoids that. If she can.
Her chances of getting a field posting were slim to none. She still isn’t sure she’ll be allowed one once she finishes this course. Endless batteries of tests have confirmed she meets the minimal fitness requirements, and her scoliosis curvature is stabilized. She hasn’t gotten worse since the last surgery.
None of that means the future is certain.
She’s glad her parents understand. That they can see why she’s putting herself through this. Why she fought so hard to make it to every single PT session since she’s been old enough to know what she wants to do with her life. Why she tested for the field despite the fact that as second generation she could have been a shoe-in for administration.
She didn’t come in here with a chip on her shoulder and something to prove to the world, no matter what her instructors might think. She came here with something to prove to herself.
She’ll never be a hunter like Adrian Seymour or Mary Joslin. She can’t hope to be a graceful, silent striker like them, she’ll never possess the physical capacity to do what they do. She can’t even hope for the brute force skill of someone like Sonora Morgan, she won’t be able to take the punishment of throwing herself into a fray over and over and wearing an opponent down.
But what she can be, is herself. Someone who knows how to get hurt and get back up. Someone who is cunning enough to fight with her words, and if necessary, her fists as well. Someone who invents fighting styles that can’t be found anywhere in the training manuals.
There’s no one quite like her, yet.
That isn’t going to stop her.