Getting there
Drifting through the sky of the beastland, the Loot Tavern is a sanctuary for adventurers, hunters, and vagabonds alike. Its exact origins are unknown, but when Lutecia saw the listing, she persuaded her adventuring pals, Humperdink, L’Arsène, and Heliana to invest in the venture. Atop the magically-warded rock, a grandiose, multi-tiered tavern was constructed. With spaces for each of the friends’ endeavours, the edifice also contains a transient number of guest rooms that appear, clean and furnished, as and when needed.
Arriving. Getting to the Loot Tavern can be achieved from any plane of existence with only two requirements. The first is a tavern; the second, an indigo-hued beverage known as port ale. A creature that steps through the door of a tavern within 1 minute of imbibing the beverage is transported to the exterior of the Loot Tavern.
Tavern Tales
On one of their adventuring forays, L’Arsène and Heliana found themselves trapped in the underdark. In a desperate attempt to escape, the pair created a makeshift pub: Rock Bottoms Up. Brewing a noxious and not-particularly pleasant beverage from local mushrooms, the pair waited until a group of passing deep gnomes stopped for a lunchtime whistle-wetter. As soon as money changed hands, Heliana and L’Arsène dashed out of the bone-and-canvas tent, downed their port ale, and stepped back through— to the safety of the Beastland. Rumours still abound of a group of deep gnomes seeking compensation for food poisoning at the hands of an unscrupulous orc and a scruffy mapach.
Leaving. One does not simply walk through the garden portal to leave the tavern, not if you want to end up somewhere specific. The tavern’s portal is a permanent teleport spell, with a twist. This is one of the tavern’s unique selling points that contributes to its continued commercial success.
One must first imbibe a specific combination of drinks, known as a teleportation flight, to have any chance of arriving at a desired location. After consuming this flight, a group of creatures uses the ‘Very Familiar’ row of the spell’s table when determining the accuracy of the destination. A creature that walks through the portal without having consumed a beverage since it last finished a long rest is teleported to a random location on a random plane.
For example, drinking a cosmopolitan, a muskroe mule, and a piney colada, a combination that represents urban, arctic, and forest biomes, respectively, directs the portal to teleport a creature to a city in the tundra. See the services offered at Lut’s bar for more info.
Description
Vaguely waved off by L’Arsène as something to do with the “Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Arcanodynamics”, the Loot Tavern is never quite the same from one day to another. Though no-one sees it change, there is always enough space for whatever is about to happen. Whether it be Heliana’s latest delivery of Gargantuan tarrasque bones, a dancefloor for the danceathon, or more rooms for guests, the Tavern provides. Though Humperdink did look into the phenomenon once, he quickly learnt to avoid asking those sorts of questions when his laboratory became a utility closet filled with garlic. The following rooms are keyed to the map below.
Accommodation. Rooms of all descriptions, from squalid closets under the stairs for 1 sp per day to aristocratic suites that cost 10 gp per diem.
1 - Lut’s Bar
Lutecia’s bar is the beating heart of the tavern. A circular structure that rises from the bar floor to the tavern’s lofted ceiling, its shelves are stacked with a plethora of liquors, wines, and otherworldly beverages that induce a myriad of mind-altering states. When not staffed by Lutecia herself, L’Arsène’s simple arcanomechanical constructs can be found pouring ale, chastising the overly-drunk, and shooing away the tavern’s cat.
Lut offers almost every known beverage, aperitif, and cocktail among the planes. One of the most important services Lutecia offers is a teleportation flight to direct the tavern’s portal to send the patron to the desired location. Correctly designing and mixing this flight of beverages is an art. The wrong mix or, worse yet, the wrong beverage, can result in a patron being teleported thousands of miles from their intended location. If a creature comes to her with an untried recipe, she’s more than happy to let the messenger be a guinea pig for the concoction on the house. It’s important to know where each cocktail directs the tavern’s portal to teleport a creature!
Services: Teleportale. Lutecia sells bottles of port ale for 5 gp each. For the same price, Lutecia will craft a flight of beverages for one creature. If a creature travels through the tavern’s portal before it next finishes a long rest, it will be teleported (as per the teleport spell) to a destination dictated by the arrangement of beverages. Lutecia is a skilled mixologist; use the ‘Very Familiar’ row when determining mishaps.
The following table lists the cocktails and the biomes or planes to which the portal teleports a creature.
Lutecia’s Cocktails
| Location | Location Type | Drink |
|---|
| Arctic | Biomes | Muskroe mule |
| Coast | Biomes | Hex on the beach |
| Desert | Biomes | Tokilla sunrise |
| Forest | Biomes | Piney colada |
| Grassland | Biomes | Plainkiller |
| Hill | Biomes | Hilltini |
| Jungle | Biomes | Baloovardier |
| Mountain | Biomes | Mountini |
| Swamp | Biomes | Voodoodka |
| The Low | Biomes | Mould fashioned |
| Underwater | Biomes | Dark ‘n’ salty |
| Urban | Biomes | Cosmopolitan |
| Ethereal Plane | Inner Planes | Hard spirits |
| Plane of Fey | Inner Planes | Bloody faery |
| Shadow Plane | Inner Planes | Black mountini |
| Plane of Air | Inner Planes | Djinn and tonic |
| Plane of Earth | Inner Planes | Targarita |
| Plane of Fire | Inner Planes | Firewhiskey |
| Plane of Water | Inner Planes | No island iced tea |
| Plane of Weave | Inner Planes | Cosmicpolitan |
2 - Heliana’s Cave
Adorned with plush rugs, elaborately-filigreed shisha pipes, and an astonishing assortment of monster paraphernalia, Heliana’s ‘cave’ is far from the basic, uncivilised affair its name would suggest. Hundreds of identical copies of her new book, Heliana’s Guide to Monster Hunting, line shelves high up the wall. During the day, she can be found teaching the fundamentals of monster harvesting to new adventurers and providing her services as a harvester for preserved corpses.
Services: Component Trader. Heliana has many monster components available and is always looking to buy others. Her inventory can be decided randomly; when a creature requests to buy or sell a component, roll a
d20 . On a result of 1-10, she has
1d4 of the component for sale but won’t buy any. On a result of 11-20, she has none of that component and will buy up to
1d4 of that component.
Services: Cooking. For ten times the average party level in gold pieces, Heliana will spend an hour whipping up a meal using the player’s magical components. She has proficiency in cook’s utensils, a proficiency bonus of +4, and a Constitution modifier of +5.
Services: Harvesting. If a corpse is brought to Heliana while still preserved by magic like the preserve spell, she can assist in harvesting it, charging ten times the average party level in gold pieces. Heliana has a proficiency bonus of +4, a Dexterity of +4, an Intelligence of +2, proficiency in the Medicine, Nature, and Survival skills, and the Expert Harvester and Reapmaster feats.
Services: Heliana’s Guide to Monster Hunting. For the discounted price of 150 gp (or 3,100 gp for the very rare, deluxe edition), a creature can buy a copy of this tome. This magic item details the harvestable parts of different creature types and the respective component DCs. In terms of gameplay, owning a copy of this book can grant your players knowledge of component DCs to allow them to be better informed when creating a Harvest list. This book imparts information on features unique to a monster, such as a paralysing venom.
3 - Humperdink’s Laboratory
A chaotically organised room, Humperdink’s laboratory never has less than half a dozen experiments being simultaneously conducted. Iridescent organs and biostatically preserved creatures line shelves, floating in glowing, colourful liquids. Desks are covered in papers with a mix of arcane runes, scribbled notes, and the mustard stains of hastily eaten blood-sausage sandwiches. Novel biomantic constructs like Poggle, Humperdink’s homunculus helper, or Feviline, the tavern’s cat, explore the dangerous lands under his desk and high up on the shelves.
Services: Spell Scrolls. Humperdink sells spell scrolls. He also carries a variety of scrolls from other schools of magic. To determine his inventory, whenever a creature asks if a scroll is available, roll a
d10 . Humperdink has a number of that spell scroll available for purchase equal to the result of the roll minus the level of the spell. Being a student of the school of biomancy, he always has at least one of each biomancy spell in his inventory available for purchase.
Number of scrolls available* = d10 - level of spell scroll
*Minimum of 1, if biomancy spell.
If the result is 0 or lower, he doesn’t have the scroll, and will gladly buy up to
1d4 of them for one-half of their sale value. The price of spell scrolls is as follows:
| Spell Scroll Level | Rarity | Value |
|---|
| 0 (cantrip) | Common | 10 gp |
| 1 | Common | 60 gp |
| 2 | Uncommon | 150 gp |
| 3 | Uncommon | 300 gp |
| 4 | Rare | 600 gp |
| 5 | Rare | 1,200 gp |
| 6 | Very rare | 3,100 gp |
| 7 | Very rare | 6,200 gp |
| 8 | Very rare | 9,300 gp |
| 9 | Legendary | 19,500 gp |
4 - L’Arsène’s Caravan
In extravagant, scarlet calligraphy, the word ‘SIDRAT’ is painted on the front of a brightly covered caravan, positioned in the middle of a small side room. It appears someone was overconfident with the ‘S’ and the following letters are progressively more scrunched together. Looking inside the caravan can be a vertigo-inducing experience; it is far bigger on the inside with exotic tools lining every wall above arcanomechanical gadgets that whir, rattle, and occasionally explode. The caravan’s owner, infamous gadgeteer L’Arsène Upin, can often be found tinkering with a malfunctioning device or preparing designs for new items based on the properties of rare monster components.
Services: Craftsperson. L’Arsène is a deft and experienced master craftsperson. He is proficient with all tools as well as the Arcana, Investigation, and Religion skills. He has a +3 proficiency bonus, a Strength modifier of +1, a Dexterity modifier of +4, and an Intelligence modifier of +5; uses Intelligence as his spellcasting ability modifier. L’Arsène charges at the rate of an Expert forger.
Services: Magic Item Vendor. L’Arsène has an inventory of magic items available for players to buy and is always happy to buy magic items from the players for 50% of their value.
5 - Peeper’s Library
Peeper likes books, keeping things orderly, and being an orange ball of helpfulness. In short, they’re the ultimate librarian. Peeper’s library is a repository of all the books and tomes on monster hunting that Heliana has acquired (if not read) over the years.
Services: Research. For no charge, a creature can spend 8 hours working with Peeper to find information on the target of a hunt. At the end of this period, the creature can make a DC 16 Intelligence (Investigation) check to see what they discover. On a success, the creature receives the information for one of the clues for the coming hunt. A result of 26 or higher reveals two of these clues, instead. A failed check indicates that the library has no relevant information on this subject that the party can discern.
Staff and Patrons
Although many faces frequent the tavern, there are some characters that are almost guaranteed to be present. Its four proprietors,
Heliana Halforcen, Humperdink, L’Arsène, and Lutecia; the bouncer, Granny Weathertax; Heliana’s faithful scribe, Peeper; the tavern’s cat, Feviline.
Pricing
Lodging
Accommodation. Rooms of all descriptions, from squalid closets under the stairs for 1 sp per day to aristocratic suites that cost 10 gp per diem.
Food
Drinks
Lutecia sells bottles of port ale for 5 gp each. For the same price, Lutecia will craft a flight of beverages for one creature. If a creature travels through the tavern’s portal before it next finishes a long rest, it will be teleported (as per the teleport spell) to a destination dictated by the arrangement of beverages. Lutecia is a skilled mixologist; use the ‘Very Familiar’ row when determining mishaps.
The following table lists the cocktails and the biomes or planes to which the portal teleports a creature.
Lutecia’s Cocktails
| Location | Location Type | Drink |
|---|
| Arctic | Biomes | Muskroe mule |
| Coast | Biomes | Hex on the beach |
| Desert | Biomes | Tokilla sunrise |
| Forest | Biomes | Piney colada |
| Grassland | Biomes | Plainkiller |
| Hill | Biomes | Hilltini |
| Jungle | Biomes | Baloovardier |
| Mountain | Biomes | Mountini |
| Swamp | Biomes | Voodoodka |
| The Low | Biomes | Mould fashioned |
| Underwater | Biomes | Dark ‘n’ salty |
| Urban | Biomes | Cosmopolitan |
| Ethereal Plane | Inner Planes | Hard spirits |
| Plane of Fey | Inner Planes | Bloody faery |
| Shadow Plane | Inner Planes | Black mountini |
| Plane of Air | Inner Planes | Djinn and tonic |
| Plane of Earth | Inner Planes | Targarita |
| Plane of Fire | Inner Planes | Firewhiskey |
| Plane of Water | Inner Planes | No island iced tea |
| Plane of Weave | Inner Planes | Cosmicpolitan |
Comments