Clownnapped
Come one come all to the Jubilant Delirium Circus! Witness our extravagant performers… weeping in their tents. Something is not right here, something is quite amiss. Isn’t this supposed to be a traveling circus? It’s been staying here in town for far too long. The ringmaster is calling you backstage. He seems desperate for an adventurer’s assistance. Will you answer his call?
Clownnapped PCs
Synopsis
The group arrives at the circus where they're met by Tinkles the Clown, a clown that jingles sadly and smells like piss. Tinkles takes them to the ringmaster who is arguing with The Rockshire Militia about staying in town longer than planned. He's arguing that since children are going missing, they can't leave without them. The captain of the militia is unsympathetic to their problems and tells them they must leave or else be thrown into jail. The Ringmaster invites them in to the tent where his office is and begins to discuss the problem. Four children total have gone missing from the circus since they've been in town, and they're being urged out of town by the militia. Upon an insight check, he's being entirely truthful and is just very stressed about the situation. He explains that the children often sleep in a tent with one another that's sort of like a play tent. He offers to lead them to the parents of the missing children in order to get descriptions of each of them. They've already met one: Tinkles, the father of the tiefling Curiosity who killed a cat once by accident while knife throwing. They go to another tent, where Terra-Lynn Clive (Buxton-Clive's mother) is comforting a sobbing dragonborn woman, Solmera, dressed in all black like she's grieving. Terra-Lynn, an earth genasi woman, is the adoptive mother of two changeling children, Phee and Fei, and the dragonborn woman is the mother of Ignus. Terra-Lynn redirects and leads them to the aforementioned tent where the children were last seen, then heads back to continue comforting Solmera. In the tent, the group meets Jessie, a half-orc teen who seems intent on figuring out what's happening to the kids all on her own. While they're talking with Jessie, Rosalyn uses detect magic in the center of the tent and has three pings near some boxes. Soon after, bandits pop out of invisibility and start taking shots at the party members. The party swiftly beats them, Amami running after the one that tried to get away, and they begin to interrogate the two that are still conscious. The bandit leader starts mocking the party, telling them that he's the only one who knows anything and even if the others did know, they wouldn't tell them. Davina casts cause fear and causes him to become frightened of her, and he spills a whole lot of information including that they were here to kidnap Jessie, they had a fourth person who ran back to their meetup spot to alert the others for an ambush, and that he doesn't know his own father's name. Eventually they just keep saying how they won't stop kidnapping kids for money so the party proceeds to curbstomp all three of the bandits until they are dead. After that, they find the body pen that says "Dump bodies here," where they dispose of the dead bodies, Davina and Rosemary disguise themselves as the bandits, and then they continue on. They arrive at the ambush spot where they find the bandit captain's father who's standing there with another bandit. They have a brief conversation after Cox and Rosemary hide themselves, as Rosalyn and Davina do the talking, standing there and pretending that they kidnapped Amami. They fail to convince the bandits. The group is ambushed and they spend a long time fighting a lot of guys including evil wizards, the bandit leader, and bandits. At one point, Davina vaporizes an evil wizard with inflict wounds, Cox kicks a couple bandits off the side of a cliff, Amami goes unconscious after kicking people a lot, Rosemary does a lot of healing and spiritual weapon-ing, and Rosalyn channels divinity to make a huge area of temp hp gaining as well as spiritual-weaponing. They eventually defeat all of them, and the bandit leader is alive but unconscious. They are healed for 1hp and get directed to the final area where they can see two guards out front and hear a commotion inside of the tent. The guards out front are militia members, who are promptly dealt with by the party as the party enters the tent. Inside, they find the captain of The Rockshire Militia trying to perform with a pair of wolves for the missing children, and the children are dying laughing. The wolves are actively attacking the man, and the children are told to turn away as the party knocks this man to an inch of his life and throws him to the wolves who finish him off. The party then talks to all of the children, spares the rest of the militia who did not know that the children were kidnapped and were just stationed there today, and then they head out back to the circus where the children are reunited with their family. After the one-shot, Davina sticks around for a while and eventually does all the paperwork needed to join the circus as a fortune teller.Quotes
She takes the moss, eats it, and then leaves.
The son of the gnome piss clown is a knife throwing tiefling named Curiosity who accidentally killed his pet cat.
Your tongue is 12 wet.
Party: Roll for piss. DM: That's a Nat 1 level of pissing himself.
Party: You don't know your dad's name? Bandit Chief: Why would he tell me that?
Party: What do we do with the bodies? Circuses have ways of ethically disposing of bodies. *Gets A 31 on an Ability Check* DM: You see a pen with a sign that says "Dump bodies here".
Our spiritual weapons are S&M. So who are you hitting?
Bad Guy: I can't hear you over the sound of the bell. Rosemary: I can't hear you over the sound of you being a bitch.
It's only biological warfare if I don't deserve it.
This is the second curb-stomping of the one-shot and I couldn't be happier.
Comments