The Plates

Written by StillnessandSilence

The place is a land made of food, as far as the eye can see, deadly and truly dangerous food. Don't Eat the Crumpetkin!

— Gale Stormbreaker

Within the world of Selenia, there exist places that some believe to be mere myths, while others whisper of firsthand encounters. The Plates is one such realm—a small pocket dimension crafted by Magnon, the Mayo God. It cannot be reached by ordinary means; one does not simply travel to the Plates. Access is granted only by sheer luck or through deciphering the ancient tomes of lost recipes, each ingredient a key to unlocking its entrance.

Here, hunger is an impossibility, yet the food is not merely abundant—it is alive, thriving, and, at times, perilous. The Plates is a world of both wonder and trepidation, where culinary landscapes stretch beyond imagination. Among its many locales are:

• The Gingerbread Forest – Towering candy-laced trees with spiced bark and caramelized leaves sway in the warm, cinnamon-scented air. Beware the sentient frosting vines that ensnare the unwary.
• Sugarplum Glen – A dreamlike valley of glistening candied fruit and syrupy streams, but tread carefully—some of the sweets bite back.
• The Syrup Swamps – Sticky, golden waters bubble with slow-moving currents. Bridges of hardened taffy stretch between islands, but misstep, and you may sink into an oozing pool of sap.
• The Tortillachip Mountains – Jagged peaks of crisp tortilla rise against the sky, their edges sharp enough to cut. Beware the molten cheese eruptions and the fire-breathing Habanero Dragons that rule these lands.
• The Crustal Deep – A vast underground cavern system where ancient sourdough formations create tunnels and chambers. Some say the Bread Golems who guard it know the secrets of the Plates.
• The Everboil Cauldron – A bubbling ocean of eternal soup, changing flavors with the seasons. Some say it holds the knowledge of all recipes ever created. Those who drink from it may gain wisdom… or be cursed with endless hunger.

There are so many more places here, that are yet to be tasted and discovered,

To those who stumble upon the Plates, survival depends on wit, taste, and the ability to adapt to its eccentric laws. Some leave with legendary flavors on their tongues; others are never seen again.

The Perils of The Plates

Those who find themselves in The Plates must navigate its many dangers—and, if they are lucky, its wonders.

• The Mold King – A vile, creeping entity that hunts the Feastborn to drain their essence, reducing them to flavorless husks.
• Soup Wraiths – Spectral beings made of sour broth, forever seeking to steal warmth and flavor from living meals.
• The Appetite of the Hungry – An ancient, insatiable force that seeks the rarest flavors in the Plates. It whispers its hunger across the land, and many fear that one day, it will consume even the gods of cuisine themselves.

Despite these threats, the Plates remain a land of endless feasts and boundless adventure. Those who tread carefully—who respect the Feastborn, resist the Crumpetkin, and avoid the dangers of unchecked hunger—may yet find their way back to the mortal world.

But those who fail?

They may become part of the menu.

Crumpetkin

The Crumpetkin are a mischievous and dangerously delectable race of small, bread-like folk that inhabit various regions of The Plates, particularly in the rolling Butter Hills and near the Maple Glades. Their golden, fluffy bodies radiate warmth, and their aroma is an intoxicating blend of rich butter and honeyed sweetness.

The Crumpetkin's Temptation

Crumpetkin do not flee from predators; instead, they invite them closer. They dance, sing, and whisper in honeyed voices, urging travelers to take just one bite. They may even slather themselves in fresh butter or drizzle their heads with sweet syrup, claiming it enhances the experience. Their goal? To curse the foolish.

The Curse of Mayo Fingers

Those who succumb to the temptation of eating a Crumpetkin are immediately afflicted with the dreaded Mayo Fingers curse. This irreversible hex causes the victim's index finger to continuously ooze mayonnaise, no matter how many times they wipe it away. The mayo regenerates instantly, and attempts to cover it only result in the substance seeping through. The type of mayo varies—some victims exude a classic tangy spread, while others suffer from garlic aioli, sriracha mayo, or an unholy, glowing green variety that whispers secrets in the night.

Effects of the Curse

• The afflicted can no longer wield weapons properly—everything slips from their grasp.
• Any attempt to shake hands or touch delicate objects results in an unwanted smear of mayonnaise.
• The scent of mayo attracts Spoon Fiends—tiny, ravenous creatures that lurk in the shadows, forever seeking the perfect condiment.
• Rare alchemists and chefs may offer a cure, but it often involves completing absurdly complicated or dangerous culinary rituals.

Few survive the humiliation of Mayo Fingers without going mad, and those who do often spend their days warning others never to trust the Crumpetkin’s buttery lies.

The Feastborn: Guardians, Tricksters, and Warriors of Cuisine

The Feastborn are a diverse and unpredictable race, each individual shaped by the ingredients and flavors that compose them. Their personalities and abilities are dictated by their culinary origins, making them as varied as the regions they inhabit.

Notable Types of Feastborn

• Caramel-Limbed Tricksters – These devious, golden-skinned beings have limbs made of flowing caramel that stretch, snap, and reform at will. They delight in toying with travelers, luring them into sticky situations with riddles and pranks. When threatened, they can ensnare foes in webs of rapidly hardening sugar.
• Gelatinous Diplomats – Shimmering, translucent beings with ever-shifting hues, they are skilled in the art of negotiation. Their gelatinous bodies allow them to squeeze through impossible spaces and absorb attacks with ease. With the ability to alter their texture and translucency, they can make themselves impossibly smooth or rigidly solid. Their soothing presence makes them the preferred emissaries of the Plates' great culinary houses.
• Crust and Spice Warriors – Towering figures made from hardened bread crust, dusted with potent spices, they are both feared and revered. Their bodies are as resilient as baked stone, their strikes leaving trails of fiery paprika or numbing clove. When they fight, they unleash storms of spiced wind, searing foes with ghost pepper breath. These warriors are often found guarding sacred culinary treasures, such as the Everboil Cauldron or the legendary Golden Ladle.

The Feastborn, despite their varied natures, all hold an unshakable reverence for food, believing it to be both life and legacy. Some serve as guides to lost travelers, leading them safely through the Syrup Swamps or past the erupting peaks of the Tortillachip Mountains. Others, however, see outsiders as nothing more than ingredients—prey to be harvested, cooked, and consumed in the eternal feasts of the Plates.

Gramma Nut’s Peanut Brittle Hut

Nestled deep within the shifting landscapes of the Plates, where sugar dunes meet the rolling fields of molasses, lies a peculiar dwelling—Gramma Nut’s Peanut Brittle Hut. It is a deceptively charming structure, its caramelized walls glistening under the soft glow of candied lanterns. The air is thick with the scent of roasted peanuts and warm toffee, but those who dare to approach feel an unease creeping up their spines.

The house rebuilds itself if a piece is broken off, its enchanted shell mending with an audible crunch. The brittle walls are unyielding to most, save for the occasional unfortunate visitor who finds themselves stuck to the caramel-coated steps. Few venture here willingly, for within resides Gramma Nut, the Lady of the Plates—a once-beloved baker, now a figure of eerie solitude and lingering darkness.

Gramma Nut, the Lady of the Plates

Stripped of her ability to spread terror, Gramma Nut now lives in a self-imposed exile, tending to her endless experiments in confectionery magic. Though she no longer candies the living, her presence is unsettling. She speaks in soft, knowing tones, her voice laced with the remnants of the magic that once twisted the minds of those who tasted her cursed sweets. Her eyes glow faintly, as if embers of her dark past still smolder beneath the surface.

Despite her exile, she is not powerless. The very foundation of her home is laced with old magic, binding her to the Plates and keeping her contained. She rarely leaves, but her creations find their way into the hands of wanderers, carried by whispering winds or the mischievous Feastborn.

Her most famous creation remains Gramma’s Delights—skull-shaped candies coveted by the undead, offering them a fleeting taste of what they lost. Yet, she crafts other treats, too—some harmless, some... not. A single bite of the wrong confection may reveal forgotten memories, whisper secrets of the Plates, or shackle one's soul to an unbreakable craving.

Those who enter her brittle-bound domain seeking wisdom must bring her something in return—a rare spice from the Tortillachip Mountains, a vial of syrup from the Swamps, or a secret she has not yet heard. She does not trade in gold. She trades in stories, in flavors, in the hunger of the soul.

Laws of the Plates

The Plates is a chaotic, surreal realm where food is alive, landscapes shift unpredictably, and indulgence can be both a blessing and a curse. However, even in this bizarre world, certain rules govern its existence—some enforced by Magnon, the Mayo God, others by the land itself.

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The Law of the Feast

"One must eat, but one must never overindulge."

• Hunger is inevitable in the Plates, and food is abundant. However, those who gorge themselves too greedily risk becoming part of the landscape—morphing into sentient food creatures, cursed to wander the realm.

The Law of Hospitality

"To refuse an offered meal is to invite misfortune."

• If a host offers you food, you must take at least a bite. Rejecting an offering outright is considered a grave insult and may bring bad luck, mischief from the Feastborn, or worse—a visit from the Hungerling.
• However, beware of cursed feasts; some meals have hidden consequences.

The Law of the Living Bite

"Food here has a mind of its own—treat it with respect, or it will treat you as prey."

• Bread may bite back. Soup may refuse to be eaten. Mocking or mishandling food can provoke it, sometimes resulting in a chase or a fight.
• Sentient food will challenge those who try to consume it. Some may demand riddles, wagers, or combat before allowing themselves to be eaten.

The Law of the Forbidden Crumbs

"Do not eat what was once someone else."

• Eating another sentient being—even a single crumb—will mark you as a Devourer, attracting the Glutton Fiends who roam the Plates seeking such transgressors.
• This includes the Crumpetkin, who are known to taunt travelers into breaking this law for their own amusement. Those who fall for their buttery tricks will suffer Mayo Finger, forever cursed to ooze mayonnaise from their index fingers.

The Law of the Unfinished Meal

"Once a dish is started, it must be finished—or it will finish you."

• Leaving a meal unfinished may cause the food itself to seek revenge or allow dark forces to take root in your body.
• The phrase “Clean your plate, or your plate will clean you” is a warning whispered among survivors.

The Law of Exchange

"Nothing is free in the Plates."

• Whether seeking passage, knowledge, or favors, payment must be made in the form of a recipe, a rare ingredient, or a taste of something unique.
• Gramma Nut, in particular, only trades in flavors, secrets, and memories.

The Law of the Hungerling

"To linger too long is to become part of the Feast."

• Those who stay in the Plates too long without a way out will find themselves forgotten by the outside world, their memories replaced by an unquenchable hunger.
• The Hungerling, a shapeless, ever-starving entity, feeds on those who belong nowhere else.

Conclusion: The Ever-Shifting Feast

The Plates is a realm of contradictions—a place of endless abundance where hunger is never sated, where food is both a gift and a threat, and where the line between indulgence and damnation is dangerously thin. Those who stumble into this bizarre dimension rarely do so by choice, yet few leave unchanged.

Some find wonder in its caramel rivers, its gingerbread forests, and the strange, flavorful beings who call it home. Others fall prey to its curses—cursed with Mayo Fingers, hunted by the Glutton Fiends, or swallowed whole by the land itself. The lucky ones might barter with Gramma Nut, earning safe passage with a recipe or a secret. The unlucky become part of the feast.

Above all, the Plates is a place of stories. Travelers return with tales of molten cheese eruptions in the Tortillachip Mountains, of the deceptive laughter of the Crumpetkin, and of the eternal hunger lurking in the shadows. Some claim it’s a prison, others a paradise, but all agree on one thing:

One does not simply go to the Plates—
The Plates chooses you.

Founders

• Magnon

Alternative Name(s)

The Everfeast, The Devouring Lands

Owner/Ruler

Magnon