EP 54 THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF BASEL CAMLENN

This is essentially a 2 part episode.  The first part is a recap of an old episode 20, the second half is episode 54. 

Episode 20

It was beautiful summer day 20 years ago. The Winegarden wedding of Basil Camlenn and Eugenia Excalibur was set to take place in just a few days. The groom to be, and his father Magnus, unhitched their speedboat from their personal dock. Magnus just wanted a few moments alone with his son, give him a little pep talk or words of wisdom on the upcoming change in his life. Their plan was to take father-son cruise in the boat before dropping Basil off with his friends for one last bachelors night out. But, they never showed up… Later Magnus was found washed up on shore. Comatose and near death he was rushed to the hospital where he later died. The body of Basil Camlenn was never recovered. Multiple investigations turned up nothing to indicate foul play and it was eventually ruled as simply “boating accident” and Basil Camlenn was “missing: presumed dead”. But, many questions remain about the accident The weather that day was clear skies with very little wind and a light afternoon mist. Nothing that should have a caused any problems since both men were experienced boaters, and The boat itself was always kept in tip-top condition by the Camlenn’s staff. None of the other boats on the river that day witnessed the incident and there were no other boats reported missing so there couldn’t have been any collision. To add more intrigue no parts of the boat ever washed up on shore either. So what happened, let’s find out together on…. the black report

The theories

The Curse of the Witches: I mentioned this in episode 10 the Calamity. Basically there was a blood fued between the witches and the catholic church. The witches summoned a demon to destroy the city. A Camlenn saved the city with a blessed holy weapon and the witches put a 100 year curse on the family. It’s no coincidence that it was almost exactly 100 years between the Calamity and the accident that ended the Camlenn bloodline. So, the thing is, curses work in weird ways, so if this is true how did it actually go down? All of what I’m about to tell you could just be Winegarden gossip and elitist in-fighting, or it could be the curse coming to fruitiion, or both. I’ll let you decide. So let’s start with the Geiss family. Compared to most in Winegarden the Geiss’s are what we call “new money” they were a working class family that started the “Clockwork” company and eventually ammased a fortune. When the Almace family estate went up for sale they purchased the land and moved up to Winegarden. Apparently they weren’t always welcomed with open arms. Theres a story about the Geiss familiy being rudely turned away by the doorman at the Camlenn family Day of the Dead party. Othmar Geiss was deaply insulted and was overheard saying “someday you’ll pay”. The Camlenns publicly apologized and said it was simply an oversight with them being so new to the neighborhood. Many say Othmar never forgave Magnus and finally got his revenge. There’s not a lot of evidence supporting this, and some say Othmar was a very soft spoken man and was simply mis-understood.
Let’s move on and look at the wedding itself. This was a huge event joining two of the oldest winegarden families, the Camlenn’s and Excalibur’s. Eugenia Excalibur and Basil seemed like the perfect couple. Both from founding familes. Both smart, beautiful and ambitous. there were obvious benefits to combining the wealth and power of the 2 families. Since the dissappearance it has been well documented that Eugenia has poured her heart and soul and most importantly her money, into many worthy causes. She started the Avalon foundation which is doing amazing work to help our cities youth. She also, every year on what would have been her anniversary, she drags the river in search of Basil. Several years ago Winegarden Weekly did an expose on Eugenia she was asked about this annual ritual to which she responded defensively “if anyone has a better plan now is the time” but later in the interview she softened a bit and said “It leaves me with a sense of hope” oh my god!It’s heartbreaking really………….. OR is she just an oscar winning actor who’s really good at lying. There have been theories that maybe the relationship wasn’t as perfect as we think? Bear with me here. Let’s talk a little about Helene Walker Caliburn. My sources say Helene was bored with her much older husband and was very flirtatous with , well just about anyone. They say she was like a tiger on the hunt when she spotted her prey, and now she had her sights on Basil Camlenn. Her advances were of course rejected by the honorable Basil...maybe. On one such night at an elite winegarden party Helene was heard saying “if I can’t have him, no one can”. Helene’s whereabouts were also mysteriously unnacounted for on the night before and the morning of the accident. Buuuuut, what if they did have an affair. No one bothered to check into what Basil was doing the night before the accident right, because he was dead he wasn’t a suspect. It all makes sense, Basil and Helene were together that night, Basil tried to end it and Helene lost it! Then she sabotaged his boat and the rest is history. Or maybe Basil wanted to continue the affair, but still go through with the wedding, and Helene could not accept having to share Basil with anyone. Or maybe theres another version of this story…this might be a little uncomfortable, but we have to look at the obvioius. Eugenia Excalibur had a lot of reasons NOT to get married to Basil Camlenn. First, look at her fathers example of monogamy. Eugenia didn’t grow up in a hunky-dory happy married life why would she think it would work for herself? Second, she’s a smart woman, and I stress woman which unfairly means she doesn’t exactly get the same opportunities as a man. She knew her dad wouldn’t be able to handle the family business and eventually they would turn to her. What do you think would happen if she was married to Basil? Old Percival would hand all the power over to his grandson-in-law and not to her, simply because he’s a man. She didn’t want to just be another trophy wife for some winegarden elite. If that’s not enough, what if she found out about Basil and Helene? Dude that would send anyone over the edge.

 I think she did it.

 I don’t know what exactly she did to destroy all the evidence. Maybe the witches took care of that right? but think about it. She was basiclally a trusted family member so she had a key to the family dock. she even admits she was there that day, she say’s she was saying goodbye to Basil before his Bachelor party, but come on! We can’t ignore the obvious. She didn’t want to get married at all, she resented the opportunities that were showered on him and denied to her and she HATED him for it. Also, on a sidenote, when Magnus’s estate was being settled there were whispers about a secret family heirloom that was missing? Eugenia was allowed to roam freely at the Camlenn Estate and it’s certainly possible she stole it and gave it to the witches and in exchange the witches covered up all evidence of the boat and Basil’s body.  The last possibility is that Basil is still alive. He was scared of Eugenia and didn’t want to marry her so he faked his own death. Dad tried too hard to save him and ended up an unintended consequence. I don’t know, the lack of evidence says this is possible but there have been sooooo many supposed ghost sightings of Basil over the years. I don’t put much stock in this one. So there you have it. We have another rich winegarden elite getting away with murder,

Episode 54: 

So, There you have it folks. Obviously with the way I ended my last episode I really needed to follow up on this story. By the way, I hope you all had your fun beating me up about that one! Let’s pause and reflect on some of the comments: Buddy wrote: “you sit on a throne of lies”. little side-eye said “i have my doubts” But my favorite was ““ the blank report, the only podcast that promises nothing” So yes, I admit the only whispers about anything weird happening that thursday when the world was supposed to end, was apparently some animal or something got stuck in a drain pipe down near the prison. Of course there may or may not have been a lot of smoke coming from the prison, but I don’t really know the answer to that question because I haven’t asked the game master. Who cares about that this show doesn’t always wait for the facts! The one thing I do know for sure is that we are still here, so,there’s a good chance we were saved by the hero of the Happy Apple, the Immortal woman, and some chick named Margaret! They saved our asses and we didn’t hear a thing about it because well, you know. Last I checked that’s what happens in a conspiracy right? And if you don’t believe me you’re listening to the wrong show.

The Stepford Conspiracy

Anyway, back to the Basel Camlenn update. I went back and reread all our files on this story and I think I might have found something I didn’t notice before. Way back at the Camlenn day of the dead party One tabloid reported that The reason Magnus Camlenn didn’t notice the Geiss family was being rudely turned away at the door was that he was in an intense conversation with Brandon Masamune and his Ikeda advisor. At first I didn’t recognize this as a big deal, but this time around it reminded me of an older mostly dismissed theory called the Stepford Conspiracy. You all remember the documentary from the 70’s about the rich wives all being replaced by androids so that they would be obedient to their husbands? Most dismissed this as a work of fiction, but let’s look again. Who would have the technology for something like that? The only answer is Helix Labs, and it’s most prominent scientist Dr Ikida. let’s Flash forward to current day, the Geiss’s Clockwork company is doing cutting edge robotics, Helix Labs is doing amazing Bio-engineering AND we have an upcoming wedding between the Geiss and Masamune family!!! Masamune, Helix Labs and therefore the Caliburns, the Camlenns, Dr Ikeda. These strings are all connecting, but, we don’t know the answers yet. We’ll have to keep a closer eye on all of them this season. I’m guessing Eugenia figured out the plan and in rage decided to Murder Basil and his father and ensure that it never happens to her. Is it weird that by murdering 2 people she might be the hero of this story. So, that’s one theory. 

The witches

But I also thought what the hell, let’s see if I can get some new info about the Witches Curse! So I went downtown and met with a witch. It was a really wild experience man! Well, i went in there pretty sceptical, pretending to want my fortune told. We sat down, lit some candles and started, she said “i will show you where to find what you seek”. She asked me to close my eyes, clear my mind of everything except for what I was seeking. Before I knew it, it felt like i was asleep and dreaming. And let me tell you, it was a dope dream. I’m sitting in an old abandoned movie theater and I’m watching this really old black and white movie. I see Eugenia Excalibur and she looks sad or upset. I get up to walk over and suddenly She’s sitting at a table in an old diner (dreams are crazee right?)with a couple teenagers, one of them looks really familiar and the other has a hoodie over their head so I can’t tell who they are? Then the door opens and there’s D..uh...ge the Immortal woman, as she steps through the doorway the whole world spins and suddenly I’m back in the old movie theater, I see the Hero of the Happy Apple in the row in front of me chowing down on the popcorn. he turns and looks straight at me and says, “yeah fuck you too buddy” and runs at the screen. So I chase him and all of a sudden we’re in the old black and white movie running through the spooky ass forest. I’m getting really scared in the forest and I feel like I’m being hunted, suddenly A motorcyle zooms by with fucking Margaret on it, she stops, points her sniper rifle at me and and pulls the trigger, for an instant I look in the mirror and see Mr Black. And then a light flashes and I wake up. She asked me “did you find what you seek” I said “hell yeah, i know what to do now” . I saw a lot of wacky shit but I understand the important part of this message loud and clear. I usually hate this haunted ghost bullshit, but this is too clear to ignore. Seems like I need to chase Basil Camlenn into a dark spooky forest. maybe he’s alive, maybe he’s just a ghost. There’s only one spooky forest in this city and there have been rumours about people spotting Basils ghost there for years, Looks like I’m going to the hollows bitches!

Link to recording

The Black Report ep 54 The Mysterious Disappearance of Basel Camlenn

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