Black Report - Doppelgangers

“It was absurd really, my poor lover, although he is a powerful man in the city he has many insecurities. He has started making the strangest decisions that I fear will lead to his undoing and could cause unprecedented harm to the city itself. His odd behavior began the day he saw those 2 women, seemingly identical but for the color of their attire. One clad in an obscene crimson while the other in a deathly ebony. I assured him that the occurrence of twins in the city is not that uncommon but he is convinced that he hast witnessed Doppelgängers and that it is an omen of his impending doom. Alas, If I were his wife, I could speak openly with others of my concern, but as our relationship must remain discrete I cannot say anything, to anyone, without fearing the repercussions that this infidelity would reap on both of our families.”

welcome to the black report everybody. I just got out of the hospital this afternoon, I’m not sure why I was there but, doesn’t matter. I’m out and I’m fired up, and I am ready to give you all a great story. Now before everyone flips out about the absence of my co-host Chenin Blanc, and her, well, Sid. They’re not here today, i think they might have eloped or something, or whatever, make up whatever story you want, they’re not here. But She’s been very busy helping the show. She acquired this journal from her workplace that we believe is the diary of one Guinevere Camlenn. And this “powerful man” is confirmation of her Illicit affair with Mayor Brinks just before the Calamity in 1898. It seems pretty obvious that that’s where the secret branch of the Camlenn family tree began. So, there you go, breaking news from the Black Report today!
But who the fuck cares! this episode isn’t about that! We’re gonna dive into DOPPELGÄNGERS!
The subject matter came directly from your posts on the tipline folks, so bravo, way to be part of the team. Of course if you really want to help the best way is to hit that “like” button and of course “subscribe” to our channel for all the latest content.
The theories behind doppelgängers fall into 3 major categories Malevolent disguise- like aliens, or shapeshifters A version of Persons self from another dimension or time, like alternate timelines, or upside down dimension Harbinger or Omen of impending doom- like mayor brinks seeing a doppelgänger and then the calamity happens.
Let’s dive into the sightings…
“So me and my friends showed up at this wedding, like you asked, and these rich winegardeners usually have personal assistants or bodyguards. Well we saw 2 of them just duking it out on the front lawn, and they looked so much alike I swear they were like twins or something. Is it possible that these are Doppelgängers! Are we all doomed!” First off if it was a doppelgänger this would fall into the Malevolent disguise category. But it’s NOT and I’m gonna tell you why it’s not! we’ve covered this in other episodes. There are many rich powerful women in this city that have near-identical personal servants. These women are definately androids being custom made by the Clockwork company. The key word here is “near’ identical. Think of it this way. Say you’ve got an artist who made this amazing pottery bowl, and now some rich asshole comes and say’s I’ll pay you big bucks to make an identical one for me. Well the artist is really skilled and will try to create an identical bowl, but when you’re working the clay by hand it’s just not possible folks, there’s going to be tiny variations. So when old man Othmar Geiss created his first android servant he showed it to his new friends in Winegarden and they said I want one too! And so on and so forth. So, there you go, Android slaves-not doppelgangers. mystery solved, next… “I was doing a plumbing gig with my brother down in the fashion district. I left to get some parts that we needed, and when I came back he says ‘I didn’t know you were getting married?’ “Huh?” He explained that he saw me dressed in a suit going into a fancy tuxedo shop and I was there for almost an hour. He said he would have gone in after me but 2 big burly boxer type guys went in there and he was scared. Which was really weird cause I didn’t tell my brother I was engaged yet, I think I probably will go into that tuxedo shop and see what they have. But anyway, I kind of forgot about it till this morning when we had this job down by the police station. I saw a perfect duplicate of myself walk into that police station. And now I’m scared Please Mr Black explain what this means cause “thatsa not me! Norse mythology- Norse mythology spoke of a vardeger-an apparition of a person that precedes them in time. Egyptian mythology had the “Ka” or spirit double. Some point to these legends and say they are really indications of alternate dimensions or timelines. So say this person from another dimension is doing the exact same thing and somehow the dimensions crossover. Or, there’s an alternate timeline that somehow gets crossed with ours. Timeline bullshit exists folks, but it gets way too confusing when you think about it too much. My advice is just go with it, have fun with the story. This one also came in just this morning folks- Allegedly a certain high ranking official from the Empire Corporation was spotted at a shady Diner this morning and she shot some dudes hand off!! But official records show she was at Empire HQ all day working, this was also verified by numerous witnesses. Malevolent disguise folks! Irish fairy folklore spoke of fairy’s kidnapping people and replacing them with an “evil twin”. I don’t want to dwell too much on this story folks, way too much blood and body parts. Let’s take a moment and have a word from our sponsor
Commercial Sellout! I’m not a fucking sellout! I can’t believe these comments in the chat. I’m providing a free community service and helping keep people safe, and i just want to cover my tim….oh shit we’re on.
And Finally we have our last Doppelgänger sighting of interest…
“ I was at the Market after work, i have this high stress job downtown and I just wanted to get some good food and relax a bit. We all know the Market has great food, but it’s also got pickpockets and grifters galore and sure enough, i sat down to eat and felt my purse move. I immediately grabbed it and grabbed a wrist. I turned and looked and It was a kid,teenager, with a hoodie and some earbuds. I was about to call for security but then I saw their face. The kid looked, well hungry, lost, and scared. And that’s whenI let go, I knew they needed it more than me so I pushed my food across the table to the kid, stood up and walked away. As I was walking away i looked back and that’s when i saw the strangest thing. The kid was sitting there eating, with, me. I freaked out and got away from there as fast as I could. I heard doppelgängers were omens of bad luck but it’s weird, after that I swear things started to get better at work. Hell I even had the boss, the BIG boss lady, yeah she’s giving me special assignments and everything now. Life is going great!
Ok folks this is a nice twist. Usually doppelgangers are omens of death but this lady is suggesting that her good dead created such Karma that now it’s an omen of good luck! Wow,looks like we’ve got a happy ending today. BULLSHIT. Ever since I met MR Black, my doppelgänger, I’ve been chased through a haunted forest, trapped in Winegarden Wedding timeloop, attacked by living trees, haunted by a spooky kid who might want to murder me! And admitted to a psych ward and I don’t even remember why! If you see a doppelgänger you’ve got a choice, run, fight, or you can be nice to it. Just make sure to send your evidence into us so we can look into it. And make sure you backup your evidence first, I alway make copies of any data that could be important before giving it to someone else, just in case.
That’s all i got time for folks! Keep the reports coming in so we can investigate further and be sure to hit the “like’ and ‘subscribe’ button. And always remember,
What they call coincidence , WE call evidence