HRH Journal about Poor Dive and Self Acceptance

HRH writes of a self realization.

30 May Saturday   Shit! I hope Gan never reads my diary because there is no polite way to say it other than shit. I think I'm screwed.   Today was my last diving fixture of the half. I was sure I was goin gto do really well. So did Coach. Then I climbed to the ten meter and saw Alex sitting there rootingfor me. I started crying at the top of the platform. I did manage to dive but I really botched it. When I climbed out of the pool, Alexander smiled at me and waved. He looked really good. I missed seeing him. I ended up in forth overall for the fixture. I was too distracted and emotional to do any better. It made me realize I have a crush on Alex.   I can never tell him, he would be so upset. He will hate me. I want to stay friends with him. I guess realizing this means I finally really have to accept that I am the three letter word. I like boys.