Milk Run

While this one-shot was written with Shadowrun in mind, it can be played in any modern or cyberpunk setting.
Laying low in a safehouse in Utrecht, the runners are contacted by a Mr. Johnson with a peculiar job offer. He needs the team to smuggle an object out of farmlands in the province of Limburg. The Johnson calls it a milk run, then giggles as if he just made a really good joke. He proceeds to straighten his face, but still occasionally has giggle fits. Joy.   After the runners accept the job, most likely very reluctantly, the Johnson goes into more detail. He has a contact that frequently smuggles him some goods, but a current lockdown due to bird flu is getting in the way. He needs the runners to sneak past the patrols, pick up a full barrel of the cargo, then smuggle it back out. It's an easy job that pays well for such a short trip.

Conrad

Metatype
Elf
Gender
Male
Birth Year
2045
Awakened/Ware
Mental Bioware
Type
Mr. Johnson
Personality
'Hilarious'
Conrad is a neutral Johnson who takes the privacy of his clients very seriously. That's about the only thing he takes seriously, as he practically lives life just to be able to make bad puns. Those who know him, are surprised no runner has offed him yet. Most likely his silver tongue is what managed to keep him out of trouble so far.   One of Conrad's clients is a sports coach who was in the market for healthy milk with extra protein. Not liking the ridiculous monopoly prices, he came to Conrad for help. Conrad then bought off one of the farmer assistants, who supplies him with a full barrel of milk every now and then. The current bird flu lockdown means the assistant can't leave, so Conrad is sending runners to pick up the barrel instead.

The Run
Limburg has massive farmlands, most used for crops, some for grazing cattle. In one of the most densely populated countries in the world, wasting land on cattle is a luxury only affordable by the rich and famous. This also means higher security, especially with the lockdown where the guards have to prevent employees from going home and not being allowed to return.   Asides from the security patrols from local farms, the government has sent out spirits and security drones to patrol as well. This means the runners have to avoid all three dimensions of security, though careful observation will easily reveal massive gaps in the surveillance. Once they get past the fences, they can go to the barn to meet up with their contact.
Johnson
Conrad
Job Type
Transportation
Opposition
Cows
Base Rewards
¥4,000 each
5 Karma
Word on the street
"I have a rather simple job I need your assistance with. So simple, one might even call it a milk run."
 
"Conrad? Gawd. You mean mister pun-ishment. As in, it's a real punishment to have to deal with his puns..."
 
"Idunno, I never trusted cows. Especially the ones in Limburg. They get this look in their eyes..."
 
"I go out of my way to serve you some good healthy REAL milk and this is how you ungrateful curs thank me?! Give me one good reason not to kick your ass out!"

The Complications
At the scheduled meeting site, the team doesn't find their contact. Instead, they find a blood trail. If they follow it one way, they find a torn-apart corpse being munched on by cows... The other way leads to a broken milk machine and a milk barrel that's only half-full. Turns out these cows are omnivores, which is why their milk has extra protein in it.   With the machine broken, the only way to fill the barrel and get paid is to milk the cows themselves. Fortunately the cows have already eaten meat today. Unfortunately that doesn't mean they won't get uppity. To deal with them, the runners must talk soft and carry a big stick.
The Aftermath
If the runners managed to fill the barrel, Conrad will pay them out in full, though he's disappointed by the death of his contact. If the runners share what happened, they'll see his eyes sparkle as he's getting ideas on how to leverage this development. He's even in good enough a mood to promise them a cut once he makes money with said knowledge.   As for the runners, when they return to their safehouse, their host serves them breakfast. Cereal with real milk. If they fail to maintain their composure, they then have to spend some time unruffling their host's feathers, if they don't want to be immediately evicted.

Comments

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Grandmaster kvm
Konstantin Mika
27 Apr, 2022 08:26

Omnivorous cows, huh? And here I thought almost getting trampled to death by hungry sheep was... unexpected fun on a routine work day.

27 Apr, 2022 21:46

Could be worse. Could be part Cape Buffalo.

28 Apr, 2022 19:12

He promises them a *cut* of the profits! :D

Am I my brother's keeper? No, I'm the centre-forward!