Squirrels

Squirrels Are Very Wise

The thing that you have to understand about squirrels is that they are, oftentimes, very wise. I know, it seems a little counterintuitive; we’ve all seen them dead in the road after taking too great a chance against oncoming traffic, and who hasn’t seen them randomly fall out of a tree? They’re twitchy little buggers, and, besides their adorable tails, the only thing really separating them from the rats is their lower intelligence.
Right?
Well, I wouldn’t be so sure of that.
You see, sometimes, a squirrel isn’t really a squirrel. Sometimes, it’s something else; something that chooses the appearance of a squirrel, probably because they’re just so damn cute. And prevalent - mustn’t forget that. Squirrels are everywhere - every town, city, forest, random scrubby tree on the side of a forgotten road… they might look a little different, depending on where you are, but everyone knows a squirrel when they see one.
Well… except when they, you know, don’t.
What I’m trying to say is that some squirrels are angels.
No, I don’t mean that they’re just sweet lil angels, precious furballs, good boys and girls.
I literally mean that some squirrels are powerful, Celestial entities that spend their free time down on the Mortal Plane, masquerading as vermin for… reasons.
It’s actually a very well-documented phenomenon, although most people don’t really give the squirrels the proper respect that they deserve.
Throughout history, squirrels have helped to lead mortals to safety; haven’t you heard the phrase, “like squirrels from a burning bush”? Or what about, “the squirrels ride at dawn”?
No?
Well, let’s just say that squirrels have a tendency to get out of harm’s way, well before anyone else has even realized that danger is imminent. If you ever see squirrels running in a particular direction, it’s probably in your best interest to follow them. If a squirrel ever takes a particular dislike to a specific person, you may not want to trust this individual.
And if squirrels the size of black bears swarm your city, grab your children, and carry them away to a magical realm in the trees… trust me, they’re doing you a favor. Have you ever wondered where gnomes and halflings came from? They came from children who were once saved by an entire herd of squirrels. Not right away, of course, but over the next several thousand years, those children and their descendents survived while their empires rose and fell, all under the guidance of squirrels.
Haven’t you ever wondered why woodland peoples are so successful? Haven’t you ever asked yourself why halflings live such prosperous lives? Haven’t you ever considered the nature of gnomish culture, and their overwhelmingly large successes, despite their small stature?
Whether you’ve realized it or not, some of the biggest moments in mortal history, some of your greatest accomplishments, and most significant recoveries, have come with the aid of the squirrels.
That isn’t to say that all squirrels are warriors from the heavens, sent to protect mortals. Most of the time, a squirrel is just a squirrel, with nothing more to it. But if you ever see a squirrel, and get the feeling that it’s trying to tell you something, listen - because history has shown us, time and time again, that squirrels are very wise.

- From Records of Ascension, Library of Boloxol