Session 2: Life's a Beach
General Summary
With a room full of expensive fabrics, we now have to figure out how to move it all. Some of it is shoved into bags of holding, but me and Owkbanok get stuck carrying fine silks because the rest of this party is full of weak baby peanuts. We’re ambushed by hungry leopards and dispatch one quickly and the other runs away. Mewling can be heard from a nearby bush and upon Almina announcing that there’s baby leopards in there, my ass is over there like white on rice to pick out my furrever friend. I choose the fattest of three babies and let them ride around in my shirt. We decide to take the other two babies as well to sell once we get back to civilization.
We make it back to the beach and are glad to see the rest of our remaining crew still alive. We concoct more signals to try and drag ships our way, but let me tell you, guys, we’re terrible. We decide burning down the jungle is a good enough signal and exposing some of our treasures to the rest of the world which is basically just asking for another pirate crew to find us. On Almina’s watch that night, we’re attacked by a boalisk and manage to take it out quickly. Owkbanok and TT take the second watch and encounter a creepy plant child that comes out of the burning jungle and after TT hits it, it shrieks and wakes the rest of us. This child does not die easy, holy fuck.
This kid manages to stand up to everything we throw at it, but we finally manage to put it down for a permanent dirt nap. In the morning, TT treats Morthos to breakfast by pouring sand on his face and then we seriously contemplate eating the plant child. Luckily, I know enough about nature to know that eating children of any kind is a terrible fucking idea, but especially when it comes to eating weird, creepy plant children that live in the jungles. We end trapped on this island for another week, so we do all sorts of fun things like collect rocks for more signal making, I finally take a bathe much to everyone’s relief and teach my new leopard son some things, some of us gamble, some of us have uncomfortable conversations about our pasts with each other.
And then finally a ship arrives! It’s the ship of a shitty pirate crew called the Sea Serpents. These guy’s apparently aren’t that noteworthy and no one will miss them, so we make a plan and appoint Owkbanok as our captain to parlay with them and then have him betray this other crew’s captain so we can kill them and steal their ship and hopefully their crew as well. As we make our way to their ship with TT and Morthos hidden to pull off the assassination, a group of Sea Serpents approaches us to ask what’s up. Owkbanok steps up to speak with them and things are all great until they turn to leave and hear our leopard babies meowing.
When they get suspicious and question us, Owkbanok and Almina are prepared to explain it as animals leaving the jungle fire, but I panic and tell them it was me. They don’t believe me so they tell me to meow. I meow and this is all making them slightly uncomfortable, but they turn to go get their captain and I blurt out that I’ve drank too much seawater so I’m going crazy. Owkbanok and Almina want me to shut up, but I’m having the time of my life pushing their buttons with this, so I keep going. The Serpents insult Owkbanok for not being able to get a hold of his own crew, so once they’re gone, Almina scolds me like a mother would her child, but Owkbanok has other plans to get me to be quiet.
He strolls over and punches me in the eye, thankfully my bad eye, and then Almina uses a spell to fascinate me and pulls me away so he can talk to the captain of the other crew in peace. Now we made a critical mistake, kids. We don’t have a way to signal Morthos and TT to strike their captain and almost lose our treasures because we don’t know what we’re fucking doing. With no way of signaling them, we have to spring the attack ourself and Morthos and TT decide to invade the ship instead anyways. This throws our entire group off and it takes us forever to cut down one captain and his five goons he brought out with him.
Me and Owkbanok are almost struck down during the fray, but we turn the tides after I cripple the captain and then execute him. His crew stands down now as TT and Morthos get shit controlled on deck. Or try to, but as TT tried to shove one of them off of the boat, she goes overboard. Eventually we all gather on the ship and divvy up the loot, pat ourselves on the back for totally pulling that off without a hitch, and then announce a mutiny and have Owkbanok taken to the brig for breaking a parlay. Don’t worry, we’re not betraying our boy. We’re just putting on a show as we sort this crew out and get it under our control. He’s fine.
Rewards Granted
Missions/Quests Completed
Plot: Stranded
Character(s) interacted with
- Morthos Malacast
- Almina
- Owkbanok
Related Reports
Report Date
28 Feb 2021
Primary Location
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