An Interview with Agamemnon Ironside

Are you a morning person, or more of a night owl?
Uh, I find it easier to stay alert in the morning.
What’s the first thing you notice about a person when you meet them?
Um. Whether they’ve seen me.
You see a huge spider in your room, what do you do?
…I… get rid of it.
If you could go back and change one decision you made in the past, what would you change?
I… would, um… treat the daughter of our first ballroom dance tutor… differently. I would… choose, in that one instance, not to pursue so certainly the course of action I believed my father would approve of.
Tell me about your first kiss.
Uh.
Do you give people second chances?
There is no room for error in war. That’s my grandfather’s fourth precept.
Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Ironsides are dog people. I just happen to also know a lot of cats.
Do you think you’re attractive?
Um.
What’s your worst habit?
I… break under pressure. Too often.
When was the last time you cried?
Uh. W… Woundsday. A Woundsday. Last Woundsday.
Are you a good liar?
…I could be…
What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Improper scheduling.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Um, n… Well… maybe. Um, no.
Are you more likely to use your fists or your words in an argument?
A soldier seldom has time for words. That’s my grandfather’s ninth precept.
What’s something you’re naturally good at?
…animals like me. And, um, I… paint well. And I have good rhythm.
What’s something you had to work hard to be good at?
Combat. I train daily.
Can you tell when someone is flirting with you?
Um.
Do you think money can buy happiness?
Gold can buy anything, but not as quickly as iron. That’s my grandfather’s sixth precept.
Do you believe in destiny?
I have no doubt in mine.
Are you a good cook?
Um, no. My father always tells me I overcook any game he lets me handle.
What do you think happens after you die?
If you’ve done it right, you live forever - your soul in the Garden and your name in the songs. That’s what father says.
Did you have to grow up fast?
I, uh. I suppose.
Who do you look up to?
I come from a long line of extremely competent soldiers, perhaps peaking with my father.
When you go to a tavern, what do you order?
Beer. And, uh, water.
What do you like most about yourself?
Loyalty.
What do you like least about yourself?
My body struggles to respond to strength training.
Do you want kids someday?
It… would be required, so, yes.
Are you a planner or more spontaneous?
A good battle-plan is a vital asset. That’s my grandfather’s fifth precept.
Can you keep a secret?
Yes. At least, so long as no-one asks me for it. Which people seldom do.
Do you like being the centre of attention?
Uh.
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
…Um. I… would… I would not desert my duty. I would remain as I was posted. Um. I think.
Do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
Um. I tend to get self-conscious.
Where do you feel safe?
…there is a spot in the estate that isn’t much in use anymore. An overgrown garden area. No-one frequents it except me and a few local cats.
Do you love or hate being alone?
It’s… peaceful. So. Uh.
What’s the last nightmare you remember having?
It… I was… hunted. For sport. Like a rhinoceros. By my father.
Do you admit to mistakes when you make them?
…no.
Do you want to grow up to be like your parents?
Y… desperately, yes.
How do you deal with being sick? Are you stoic or super whiney?
I am… Um. Uh.
What did your parents expect from you when you were born?
I have the lineage for exceptional military prowess. It’s, uh, just taking some time to establish itself.
Do you have a strong sense of style?
Um, my father buys all of my clothes and armour, so I suppose not.
Would you rather camp outdoors or stay the night in an inn?
A soldier’s true home is wherever he sets up camp. That’s my grandfather’s thirteenth precept.
Is there a food that most people like but you absolutely hate?
Um. Some… certain kinds of meat. And, uh, beer.
Are you more of a hoarder or a minimalist?
Too many items to organise quickly becomes hard to manage. Although I do keep some of my paintings.
Are you superstitious?
It wastes valuable time to obsess over threats that cannot bleed. That’s grandfather’s third precept.
Are you the kind of person who remembers people’s birthdays and pet’s names and stuff?
Uh, yes, actually.
What do you do to feel better when you’re sad?
Uh. I… In the daylight, I tend to go to the garden and watch the cats. In the evenings, I arrange a session with our ballroom tutor, or I find something to sketch.
Is it hard for you to trust someone?
…no. I haven’t much thought about it.
Are you susceptible to peer pressure?
Uh. Um. Unfortunately so.
If you decided to stop adventuring and settle down, what kind of job would you take?
Um. If I were no longer to fight… I could perhaps be a dance instructor…
As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I have always been eager to follow the military footsteps of my forebears.