Tomato Wars
The Tomato Wars of Klïppington and Klöppington are a late-summer harvest festival game in which a war is simulated exclusively with the use of fruits and vegetables.
"Ripe tomatoes and other fruits of the late-summer vine sail with abandon across the Red Bridge... Non-produce-based weaponry is strictly prohibited; with the ferocity of the fighting and the devious inventiveness of the trebuchets, catapults, and other instruments of chaos the townsfolk devise, this rule is most certainly for the best."
—Merriweather Jaunt, "The Homesick Halfling's Guide to the Northern Duchy"
History
The Tomato Wars are said to be a de-escalated historical reenactment of the Lorem River Skirmish that the towns of Klïppington and Klöppington fought in during their founding in the late first millennium of the Age of Integrity.
Execution
Each town chooses a prize pig and keeps it in a pen in a secret location on the far edge of their town. Klïppington's pig is typically hidden somewhere in its large arboretum, while Klöppington's changes location every year between a different willing townsperson's cellar along Rose Avenue. The goal of each town is to capture the other town's pig using no weaponry beyond garden vegetables.
The Tomato Wars last until one pig or the other is captured and brought across the Red Bridge. The winning side slaughters both their pig and the other town's and hosts a raucous feast. The losing side holds their own, much smaller, typically exclusively vegetarian community meal. This often turns into an elaborate planning meeting, discussing their strategic failures that year and planning to shore up weaknesses for next year's fight.
Components and tools
The most important component is in-season vegetables from the townsfolks' gardens. Tomatoes, zucchini, and corn serve as the majority of the weaponry, though everything from beans and peas fired through blowguns to watermelons catapulted via siege weaponry can be seen on the front lines.
A ruling in Y866 permitted for the use of supplemental non-vegetal materials, so long as none of them directly strike another person. This has led to an extraordinary boom in the invention of war machines within the borders of Klïppington and Klöppington, albeit ones suited to vegetable launching rather than metal or stone ballistics. Tomato catapults, pumpkin trebuchets, gourd battering rams, and bows specially designed for ears of corn rather than arrows are among the more commonly seen designs.
Observance
Fittingly, the Tomato Wars often take place sometime between the Buck Moon and the Tomato Moon, depending on where they fall during the months of July and August. Delegates from each town meet to agree upon the date of the Tomato Wars each June, depending on how the weather has been in any given year and when the harvest is predicted to be at its peak. (Brawls and even duels often break out in these meetings, as in all meetings between Klïppington and Klöppington, and at least seventeen deaths have been recorded across history as a direct result of the date negotiations.)
Important Locations
Related Ethnicities
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