It Takes Time <To Be Properly Taken Apart> - Chapter 30
Chapter 30
Chapter Length: 5,800~ wordsIn Which Raqi And Punica Actually Talk About Their Feelings For Each Other, Holy Fucking Shit Finally
Raqi and Punica locked gazes with each other. There was a shared discomfort in each of them that had emerged from separate causes. For Punica, it was because she was worried about what she was going to have to admit to during this conversation. For Raqi, it was because she was afraid of what she might hear during the conversation, and also of what she might say during it. "So." Raqi was the first one to speak. "There's one thing that I guess kind of has to be gotten out of the way first, because otherwise, it sort of invalidates the entire purpose of us talking about this." The girl took a deep breath. "You know what I'm like at this point. You've seen me at my literal worst, and it's arguably not even that much worse than my baseline; which is to say that my baseline is pretty fucking terrible in a lot of ways. I cannot in good faith argue that I am not at the very least a psychological threat to myself; though I still maintain that I'm not a physical one." Raqi made this specification because; in her mind, if she hadn't killed herself or even self harmed three days ago, then she never was going to. "I am also undeniably a threat to other people, given that I froze you in an ice cube and forced you to rebloom. With all that in mind..." Punica did not need to be able to read her biorhythm to know what she was going to ask next. "Do you plan on forcibly domesticating me?" This was it. The moment she had been dreading since she had emerged from the dirt earlier today, and now it was time. The honest answer to Raqi's question was that Punica did not know. Her calculations suggested a near-hundred percent chance that Raqi was going to be domesticated. She had concluded that she would not let herself be separated from the girl, and presuming that the above could be taken as an axiom, that meant that she had really only one option to remain with Raqi after they returned to the Compact: which was to become her owner. If by the point that it came time to return to the Compact and Raqi had not yet given herself to Punica, then Punica would sit down and explain to her what she considered the most likely outcome for when they did. Once she had done so, she would present Raqi with a choice: become her floret, or take a gamble on independence that had virtually no chance whatsoever of succeeding. There was no doubt in her mind that Raqi - given her fear of having her personality stripped away - would opt for the safer and more predictable outcome of becoming Punica's floret, particularly given that she was willing to guarantee the preservation of as much of her self as possible - rather than risking ending up with another affini who might do to her the things which she was so afraid of. With all of this taken into account, there was no need for Punica to forcibly domesticate Raqi. Raqi was all but guaranteed to offer herself up to Punica as a floret, and there was even less of a question that she would accept. Have I made my decision, then? Punica wondered. I thought earlier that I would not have the strength to forcibly domesticate her even if she were to continue hurting herself, but like this, I will not ever need to. The thought should perhaps have been a relief; she was going to get what she wanted without even having to do the thing she had been so afraid of to get it, after all. Yet the more she mulled it over, the more it did not feel right somehow. I want to remain with her, but being her owner is something else all together. All of the issues from before still remain- but at the same time, neither have any new choices emerged. Blight... Whatever her thoughts on this issue, the answer to Raqi's question was clear. "I do not plan on forcibly domesticating you." Raqi blinked at her. "Um." The xenosophont tilted her head, looking very surprised. "...May I ask why?" Punica made absolutely sure to allow no hint of her inner turmoil to show itself on her form this time around. "The short answer is that, after extensive consideration of your present circumstances, I do not believe in this situation that forcible domestication is what is best for you." She was picking her words very, very carefully. The xenosophont's expression grew uneasy. "And, the long answer?" There was a moment of silence. Punica's expression and body language remained completely unchanged. Her answer, when she finally gave it, was unusually curt. "I do not presently want to give it." The landamaeri's expression went completely blank momentarily. "Uh..." She broke eye contact with Punica, and her gaze slowly slid sideways for a few seconds. Then, she abruptly looked back at Punica, shrugged, turned her hands palm-up, and said: "Okay! I mean, fuckin'- sure, then. You know what they say about gifts camels and mouths. ...wait is that saying actually meant to be about camels? I don't remember how it was supposed to go- uh, whatever. Okay, well, anyway, moving on-" "Raqi," Punica interjected. "Before you ask me any more, could you please tell me in detail what it is that you want from me, on an interpersonal level? Knowing what it is that you desire from this relationship will have a substantial impact on my own wants and preferences." The xeno seemed to suddenly shrink several inches. "Uh. Uhm. W-well..." Raqi went momentarily silent with embarrassment. Oh, Inos... I guess she already knows pretty much everything, doesn't she? She knows what I'm into, I've already explicitly told her I want her to dom me... At this point, I've not really got anything left to be shy about. She let out a somewhat defeated exhalation. "Uhm. So, basically, I'd... like to be... dominated by you." The movement which Raqi felt in her Punica-sense at those words sent a massive blush running up onto her face, and nearly sent her into a freeze response, but she was just barely able to keep herself from sinking into prey headspace once more. "Um. Um. For me, I- I don't usually use that word. I normally just say 'hypnotised', because to me, the two are functionally the same thing. Generally speaking I'm not actually all that interested in dominance if there isn't at least some sort of mind-affecting component involved, because otherwise it feels boring. But uh- that's more specific preferences than 'what I want', s-so hold on let me think-" She took a second to gather her thoughts, then continued. "Obviously, I can't become your floret. If that is indeed what happens whenever someone is friends with an affini like you said earlier, then I'm kind of fucked. If biorhythmic conditioning is unavoidable just from a normal relationship, then I can only imagine how much worse subbing to you would make it." She pursed her lips. "...I do want to sub to you, though, is the thing. Quite a lot. And I... I don't honestly think that, even knowing what that's going to do to me, I can necessarily stop myself from wanting it. It-" She suddenly felt deeply ashamed of herself. "The thing is that... Desire doesn't really work that way. It doesn't have much respect for what what's good or what's bad, either morally or practically, and I've never been good at trying to force myself to not act on it even when I know I shouldn't. It's why even knowing how dangerous letting you tease me was, I couldn't stop myself in the days before... before the accident." "...I see." Raqi's expression immediately got much more nervous. Punica's reply had been both short, and more than a little terse; and the moment she had finished speaking, the plant had turned away from her. "Punica?" No response. Last time the plant had done this, it had annoyed Raqi to no end, but this time it felt different? That time, she had known Punica was hiding something from her, but this time, her plant almost seemed confused; like she didn't actually know what to say here. It was only after almost a full minute had passed that Punica finally spoke. "I am having problems controlling myself, Raqi, and I do not understand why." She let out a noise that sounded remarkably similar to steam hissing, which Raqi had no idea how she was making. "Affini have very strong drives to do with caring for and possessing sophonts. I know this, and I have been taught how to manage those drives. Even if my knowledge was mostly theoretical, I should have been able to apply it without difficulty when the time came that I was met with a xenosophont." Raqi watched as thorns began rising up all over the affini's floral skin. "Yet it has not just been difficult to restrain myself, it has been downright impossible in several cases, and I can not for the life or death of me understand why." The thought was all the more frustrating for Punica because of how directly it contradicted the resolution she had made mere moments ago. She had just firmly established that there was no need for her to forcibly domesticate Raqi, nor did she on an intellectual level want to- but hearing the xenosophont speak of wanting to be dominated by her had stirred up such a yearning inside of her vines that she was having to keep her right arm knitted together so that Raqi did not see her injectors dripping. The dissonance between what her mind wanted, and what it felt like her injectors wanted, was infuriating. She turned towards Raqi, her voice heavy with vexation. "I have never in my life heard another affini speak of their drives the way I am currently experiencing mine. It is fairly well known that youngblooms like me sometimes struggle to control their urges, but- but this-" There was a frustration, then- an anger, directed inwards, that Raqi had never once heard from her. "This is ludicrous. I feel like- like there is something wrong with me. I should not be this unable to control myself! I am trying with all my strength to stop from enticing you, and it is doing nothing! I feel outright as if I do not have control of my actions, and that is not a way which any affini is ever supposed to feel without desiring to!" The 'without desiring to' in that sentence was nearly enough to make Raqi snicker, given the terrible hypocrisy in how they treated controlling xenosophonts. But Punica was just stressed enough that her desire to be compassionate won out, and she regarded the plant with an empathetic look. "I can relate quite a bit to feeling like I'm not able to control my actions, even when hypnosis or drugs aren't involved. It's never pleasant." She shifted slightly. "Though... Generally, my species tends to complain a lot about lacking 'true free will.' You seem to be doing the same thing right now, but I'm getting the feeling that's not a common complaint for affini?" "It is not, no." The affini still sounded angry. "Our bodies are fine-tuned biological machines which we are supposed to be able to reign over and control to the utmost degree. The fact that mine seems to be controlling me is... abnormal. It is not supposed to be this way." The last sentence stirred something in Raqi, and her sympathy took on an edge of something else. It was part compassion, but also part reprimand as well. "I don't generally think that talking about the way things are 'supposed' to be is a very useful approach in many situations; and particularly not when it comes to your own internal experience. Just because other people experience their drives one way doesn't mean that you're wrong for experiencing yours this way." "Yes, it does," Punica retorted. "You do not understand, Raqi. It is dangerous for me to feel this way. An affini that cannot control themselves is a danger to other sophonts. Without the ability to properly moderate my impulses, I risk-" "Oh, I'm sorry." Raqi cut her off, the compassion having vanished entirely. In its place, her tone had grown derisive, and now bordered on openly hostile. "So you're saying that not being able to have perfect control over your impulses makes you a threat? Great, I mean; fuck all of us other sophonts who aren't bioengineered enough to be able to do that then, I guess we're just inherently dangerous to everyone around us." Punica's core sunk. She realised instantly that she had upset Raqi with her wording, and she knew that she had to apologise. But there was another part of her, one that responded defensively, and before she could stop it, a particular emotion had written itself into her biorhythm clearly enough that she might as well have said it out loud. She felt Raqi go cold before her. The xenosophont's eyes narrowed, and her breathing immediately slowed. "Fuck you. You smug, superior piece of shit." Dirt. Dirt and roots and- "I am sorry!" Punica blurted out immediately. "I did not mean that, Raqi! This-" Her vines flailed around behind her, one slamming against the floor and producing an audible thud. "This is exactly what I mean! I- I did not mean to broadcast that at you- I do not believe that!" "No." Raqi shook her head. "What you mean is, you didn't want me to hear you thinking that. It's not that you don't believe it; you just didn't want to say it." "No, no, no! I don't-" Her needles rattled against each other. "Raqi, please. I genuinely did not mean that at all! It was a reflex- a stray impulse that took form before I could stop it." She poured the desperation she was feeling into her rhythm. "Please. I- I am not used to feeling like this. I cannot take the time to measure and refine my words and thoughts the way I am used to! I do not believe xenosophonts are dangerous, Raqi; I swear to you!" She felt absolutely terrible. The emotional reaction had risen in her mind so quickly, and before she had stopped it, it had seeped its way into her rhythm, and Raqi had picked up on it. Punica did not in any intellectual capacity believe that xenosophonts were indeed threats to each other on account of their lesser emotional control, it was just that they- that they- What had she meant by that? When she examined the feeling closer, it... did not look good. She realised in a moment of genuine horror that Raqi was right; that had been exactly what she had meant. The inability to properly control one's emotions did lead to xenosophont harming each-other very often. It was a constant in more than nine tenths of the civilisations that the Compact domesticated. Framed that way, it had seemed only natural that the thought of having such issues herself would alarm her. She looked back at Raqi. The girl's expression had softened slightly, but she was still radiating displeasure. "...fine. I believe you." The hostility in her voice had also lessened, but her tone was still pointedly accusatory. "But just for reference, Punica: This is how landamaeris, at the very least, live all the time. We make fuck-ups and say stuff we don't mean like you just did all the time. That's why I'm willing to forgive you now." To the plant's surprise, her expression became abruptly pleading. "Maybe consider how the way that you feel about this stuff reflects back on us? Because like, I get the argument about affini being more capable, but disliking something like this isn't just about you knowing better than us; this is like saying that you're outright superior to us." There was a thought that occurred to Punica. In that moment, it would have been so easy to open her mouth and say: "Yes, and that is exactly why the affini are the wardens of the universe, and you are not." ...Rotting leaves, is that what I was thinking a moment ago? Her core felt hollow all of a sudden, and her focus passed through Raqi. No, no- that is not right. That is wrong. That- It would be an act of such terrible hubris to word it like that. And yet, the affini were the self-appointed wardens of the universe, and what Raqi had just said was exactly why that was the case. They were better-suited than all other sophont species to care for and protect the universe's life, and it was from that fact that their mandate to domesticate the rest of the universe's species stemmed. If that was the case, and the affini really were so much more capable than all the xenosophonts in the universe, then why had she hesitated to say what she was thinking? And why did it now feel so utterly wrong when phrased like that? She didn't know, and thinking about it was threatening to send her into yet another panic attack. She didn't know either why she was feeling so unstable all of a sudden, but once again, she pushed the thought from her mind, and resolved instead to do the only sensible thing she could in this situation. "...You are completely right, and I am very, very sorry." She considered expanding her apology, but even this much felt deeply ingenuine in light of everything that she had just been thinking. She therefore chose not to say any more, and to just hope that this would be enough. To her enormous relief, it was. Raqi nodded once more, the rest of the anger draining out of her face and voice. "It's fine. Just, think about it in the future, please." Punica nodded quickly, and meant it when she said: "I will." Raqi, sensing Punica's discomfort and not wanting to allow the situation to break apart, made her way over to the affini and wrapped her arms around her lower body. She was met with a feeling of surprise, and then one of immense gratitude, as Punica's arms soon wrapped around her back in turn. The two stayed there for the next several minutes, Raqi beaming acceptance, forgiveness, and affection towards Punica, and the influence caused hers to gradually stabilise in turn. By the time they separated again, it was as if the spat had never happened, and both regarded each-other with renewed warmth and mutual comfort. "There is another reason why I asked you about your preferences," Punica said, speaking first. "Something else that has confused me is that: I believe I am able, to some extent, to sense your biorhythm. This is, in and of itself, not uncommon at all; but what is puzzling me is that it seems to be able to affect me in the way that mine affects you." Raqi blinked. "Wait, what? Are you saying you can like- read my emotions and stuff?" "Functionally, yes. That is relatively trivial on account of how emotional states are precipitated by physiological changes. Many of these are substantial enough to be visible even to members of your own race, but even those subtle enough to normally be only noticeable to the one experiencing them are relatively effortless for most affini to pick up on; myself included." She regarded Raqi cautiously. "I hope that this knowledge does not upset you." "Oh, no, no, uh- Firstly, it's not actually that surprising, given everything else you can do. Secondly-" A small blush appeared on her cheeks, "-it's, um, pretty hot actually. I've kind of always wished that- well not everyone, but- people who I wanted to be able to do it could read my emotions; because the normal ways that landamaeri have to communicate those are utter ass. So you being able to do that is uh, pretty damn nice from my perspective, actually." Punica was surprised by Raqi's lack of discomfort at the thought. She had expected the implied vulnerability to be a source of displeasure for her, but was pleased to have been proved otherwise. "Yes, it is indeed rather convenient for facilitating clear communication. To be clear, this does not extend to the ability to read your thoughts or to derive information about any other aspect of your cognition; those are primarily communicated by electrical signals, which are too subtle even for us to pick up on." This inability had proven a source of irritation to affini for millennia, and it was just one of the many reasons why the Haustoric implant was so prized; for it bestowed a floret's owner with the ability to tell exactly what they were thinking. "This is only a simple overview of the phenomenon in question, where a full explanation of the ways in which an affini can pick up on a xenosophont's feelings and physiological states would take much longer," Punica continued. "That is, however, somewhat besides the point. My purpose in mentioning this is merely to establish a baseline for the level of awareness which most affini usually possess surrounding xenosophonts." Some of her vines began curling around each other. "Everything that I have described so far is, under normal circumstances, purely observational for us. We experience the knowledge of xenosophonts' feelings much the same way you might notice that a building has had its outside painted red or blue or yellow; you acknowledge it, but it does not spark any noticeable emotional change in you." She looked expectantly at Raqi to see if the xenosophont was keeping up, and the girl nodded almost immediately. Seeing this, she continued: "This is very much an intentional feature of our biology; the purpose of which is to allow us to observe how our florets and other xenosophonts are feeling, without becoming overwhelmed or unduly influenced by their own emotions. This is not to say that we do not have any innate responses to the perception of emotion in xenosophonts whatsoever; merely that, under normal circumstances, we are able to control them. The primary exception to this is in how we react to seeing xenosophonts in distress; we are engineered to experience extremely strong, virtually unignorable urges to alleviate suffering and to provide help to xenos in need." "Is this why you're all depicted as so injection-happy in the stories?" Raqi inquired. "Very likely, yes. It can be extremely difficult for affini - particularly youngblooms such as myself - to see xenosophonts in pain or upset, and not feel compelled to step in to alleviate it. From what I am told, this urge becomes easier to control as one grows older- but it takes many blooms to fully get the hang of it." She's only 120 years old; which by their standards is what, like, early twenties? ...Actually, would she even be out of her teens for them? Their education is 40-80 years long, and I think they become adults at 80; but I think it's only 'adulthood' in the way that eighteen is a legal adult over here rather than a social one. No one really gets treated like an actual adult until they're about 25; or 30 in some cases. A bloom is anywhere from 120 to 320 years, right? It occurred to her that she really had no clue when the affini thought of one of their race as stopping being a so-called 'youngbloom', but she presumed there was a real chance that it might not be so long as one of them was still a first-bloom. In which case- Raqi tried very hard not to let any of what she was thinking show on her face. Shit. It hadn't occurred to me, but- I wonder if that's why she seems so hesitant a lot of the time? I've barely ever read about affini getting as tied up over themselves to do with injecting people as she has, but I guess that might be because she really is quite young by their standards. Now that it occurred to her, it was rare to read about actual first-blooms in Domestication Guide stories. Most of the 'main affini' in these stories were in their second or third bloom; less commonly anywhere up to their sixth, and even less so eighth or ninth bloom, with only a very small minority being in the double digits. But the amount of actual first blooms she'd read about was not high at all. "So, like..." Her curiosity got the better of her, and she was unable to stop herself from posing a question. "This has me kind of interested, actually. I know you're literally six times as old as me, and because of that, I figured you'd, y'know... kind of already have all of this stuff figured out?" She tilted her head slightly. "I- I beg your pardon?" The affini's leaves ruffled in surprise. "As I believe I have told you before: I am only barely mature by affini standards, Raqi. I very much do not 'have all of this stuff figured out.'" Punica was not sure quite what Raqi was implying with her statement, but there were enough very embarrassing interpretations that parts of her foliage had started shifting colours. "Well, it's just like- For landamaeri, we expect people to be pretty dumb until they're like, about twenty." She frowned. "Then again- I guess actually, a lot of us go through our entire lives without really getting a proper handle on our emotions? And I don't think we have any drives nearly as bad as your urge to impale people." The ruffling leaves stood up on their ends. "I do not have an 'urge to impale people'!" Raqi snickered. "Okay, sorry; that was mean. Anyway, my point is: 120 years just... feels like such a long time for me. It's hard to imagine, from my perspective, not having anything under control by then. But, I guess if you spend half of that in education and a few decades more doing, uh, 'affini child stuff'- whatever that entails- then it's not that unbelievable?" Punica rumbled uncomfortably. "I am worried you may be forming misconceptions about other affini based upon what you have seen of me, Raqi. My lack of control over my drives is not at all typical of our species." The xeno abruptly tilted her head. "Wait, really? I figured how you'd been behaving so far was just normal affini things." "No. There is nothing even remotely normal about the experiences I am having with my drives." As Punica spoke, she sounded frustrated in a way that Raqi had not heard from her before. The irritation and faint hints of anger in her voice, rather than directed at any outside force, seemed to be pointed internally at herself. "As I explained to you a moment ago, a key part of our ability to sense xenosophonts' emotions is that we do not become influenced by them. For some reason, I... I think that I am in fact being influenced by the emotions which I detect in you; much the same way that you yourself would be if you saw a member of your own species angry, or happy, or sad." Raqi started blinking rapidly. "Wait a second, huh?" She frowned. "I get what you're saying, but, uh- that's how I respond to everyone, including giant alien plant monsters. I'm having a hard time understanding why this is weird." It took Punica a moment to find the words she was looking for. "That, in and of itself, would not be particularly strange- were it only that. I know many affini who have, intentionally or otherwise, conditioned themselves to respond largely automatically to the emotions of their florets without making use of the option for separation." One of her vines squeezed tightly against a different one. "But what I am trying to say is that, this is not only that. I- I do not know exactly how to describe it, because I am still not sure what is happening. But in essence, it feels as if at times, I am almost being drawn into your emotions; in the same way I would expect you to get drawn into my biorhythm." Raqi was staring blankly at her. Punica let out another agitated rumble. "Let us say that you are feeling excited at the thought of being entranced by me. It has at times been as if I could feel that excitement; almost as if- as if it were my own, somehow? That has, in turn, spurred me on to give you what you wanted; because I could feel exactly how strongly you desired it." Her mind wandered to the time that she had harmonized her rhythms around Raqi. "And when I do give you what you want, I can feel exactly how much pleasure it brings you. That- that is a large part of why I very nearly lost myself- no, why I did lose myself when we synchronized that day. The feeling of pleasure that you were experiencing from being subjected to my rhythms was so overwhelmingly strong that I- I could not resist it, and I lost control of myself completely and utterly." It felt, in part, like she was making an excuse for her failures that day; but Punica was not so deluded by self-recrimination to believe that she would have acted that way of her own accord. She would never have had the gall to try something as bold and foolhardy as extinguishing Raqi's flame of independence if she were not being externally influenced; it was simply far too much of a risk to ever be a good idea. The pleasure of the moment had made her too drunk to care for things such as risks, however, and that was why she had acted so recklessly. "Oh." Raqi's voice was a small, quiet murmur. "That's, uh. Really hot." The plant froze, and then broke into openly gawking at her. "I- I beg your pardon?!" "I-I mean!" Raqi's eyes widened, and she shook her head. "Uh! I mean, it is hot, but also-! Uh, that's- definitely pretty weird, yeah! Uhhhh-" All the 'uhh'ing gave her time to recover, and the look of embarrassment on her face quickly shifted to one of confusion. "Wait actually- yeah, no, that is pretty weird; I've never read about an affini doing that in any Domestication Guide stories before." Her brows knitted together. "On one hand, I maintain that it is in fact pretty fucking cool- but also, that does seem like a bit of a strange thing to just be able to do?" "It is dangerous, is what it is!" Punica retorted, several of her thorns standing on end. She opened her mouth to speak, but realised she was coming close to reiterating her point from earlier, and quickly rethought what she was going to say. "The reason I made the terrible mistake that I did of interfering with your flame is because this phenomenon had stripped me of my capacity for rational thought, Raqi. I would never have done something so idiotic otherwise." Something about the way Punica said 'idiotic' made it clear to Raqi that, despite their agreement to avoid allocating guilt earlier, the affini was very much still blaming herself for what happened. "Okay, I get that. Let's take a second and calm down here. This does seem pretty weird; do you have any idea what might be causing it?" The change in tone had its intended effect, and Punica's body language relaxed some what. "None whatsoever. I am as baffled as you that this is possible; I have never read anything that suggests affini should even be capable of interfacing so deeply with a xenosophont's feelings. Normally, the rhythms of most species are too weak for us to do more than read; but as I said earlier, it is like yours is influencing me the way mine influences you." "Huh." Raqi brought a hand up to her chin. "Do I maybe just have a really strong rhythm?" She hoped, for a moment, that this might be the part where Punica revealed she was blessed with some sort of supernatural genetic abnormality that gave her previously unheard-of biorhythmic powers- "No," Punica stated firmly. "While it is qualitatively different on a number of levels, the actual intensity of your rhythm is not any stronger than that of most Terrans I have met. Xenosophonts also do not generally experience variations in the strength of their biorhythms; that is something that only occurs in affini." Raqi's dreams of becoming a shounen protagonist were dashed as quickly as they had formed. Damn. Ah well... "Okay; then, in that case, it sounds like it's probably something on your end rather than mine." Punica nodded. "Almost certainly; though I haven't a clue what." The landamaeri's face twisted into an expression of contemplation, and she let out a long 'hrrrm.' She spent several seconds staring into the distance in silence, then her eyes flicked to Punica. "You know, I'm actually pretty familiar with inexplicable wacky brain stuff. Back when I was still in the Mobile Fleet, a lot of my friends were plural, and like, the entire thing with plurality was that no one understood how the fuck anything worked and everything was different on a system-by-system basis." She straightened her posture. "I actually spent quite a lot of time helping people figure stuff out, and also like, learning techniques for exploring that sort of thing. This is not in any way the same thing, but what I'm thinking is, the same principles might work to figure out how this works- if not why." "I am not sure I am quite following?" "Uh- yeah sorry that was a fucking mouthful. My point is: When in doubt and with no clue what in the void is going on, experiment! Commit science!" Punica stared flatly at her. "The last time we tried to experiment, Raqi, it was an unmitigated disaster." The xenosophont responded by grinning at her. "Yeah, so we've already gotten our mandatory catastrophe out of the way! It should be smooth sailing from here! C'mon, this time it'll be good; I promise!" Oh dear. Punica suddenly felt very, very nervous. She has that look about her again. ...Oh, this is not good.
Book 2
withering away :: The Prism System :: Intoxicants :: Plurality :: please believe me :: Landamaeri Domestication Guide :: Hypnotic Centres :: The Domestication Initiative ::
Book 1
TerraTranslate :: Raqi Marr :: Punica Granatum :: The Affini Compact :: Landamar Mobile Fleet :: Hormone Replacement Therapy :: The Chimera Module :: Affini :: Intersidera :: Posters :: Magnesium :: Wonderland :: The Hundredth Time: Part I :: Communication :: aftermath :: Physical Confrontation :: Garments :: Interspecies Comparisons :: Touch :: Equality :: Hypnokink :: Speaking :: ahftrojn,lpijmnhfkg :: Pretheya :: Magic :: scared :: Materas Marr ::