Gruzzo: The Goblin Chef

"Food is not just survival, bambino! It’s life. It’s-a love! Now sit! Let us eat!"

— Chef Gruzzo

Born in Fire and Chaos

Gruzzo was born into the Ragtooth Clan, a goblin tribe notorious for its erratic violence and love of fire. Like all goblins in his clan, Gruzzo was taught from a young age to revel in chaos and embrace brutality as a way of life. The Ragtooth goblins were scavengers, opportunists and gluttons. Nothing was sacred to the Ragtooth appetite; even prisoners captured in raids would eventually meet their grim fate in the stew pot.

Among the clan, fire was not just a tool- it was a symbol of destruction, fear, and dominance. Gruzzo learned to wield fire like all his kin, but he never felt the same gleeful joy others did as they watched their enemies burn. Deep within him, there was a restlessness he couldn’t explain, as if the goblin way of life was missing something crucial.

A Caravan of Wonders

Everything changed on the day the Ragtooth Clan attacked a passing merchant caravan. The raid was swift and merciless. The goblins pillaged the wagons, leaving nothing behind but ash and corpses. As the others tore through the spoils- shiny trinkets and weapons, coins and precious gems- Gruzzo wandered to the back of one of the wagons.

There, he found something very peculiar: crates filled with strange, fragrant goods. Exotic spices, dried mushrooms, jars of golden honey, and blocks of something dark and crumbly. Chocolate. Driven by curiosity, Gruzzo tasted these mysterious treasures. First a pinch of cinnamon that made his nose tingle, then honey that coated his tongue like liquid sunlight, then the strange bitterness of chocolate that melted in his mouth. Gruzzo's eyes opened wide with wonder, for this was the first time he felt calm. For the first time, he felt truly alive.

To the rest of the clan, the cargo was useless- "fancy nonsense," they called it, laughing as they burned what they didn’t eat. But Gruzzo couldn’t forget those flavors. Something had stirred within him. That night, while others sharpened weapons, Gruzzo sat by the fire, mixing scraps of mushrooms and honey in an old tin cup.

The Taste of Purpose

In the weeks that followed, Gruzzo began experimenting. While the clan feasted on their usual fare, Gruzzo gathered whatever he could find in the woods around their settlement: herbs, mushrooms, wild garlic, even crunchy beetles, and combined them, testing flavors like a fledgling artist learning to mix paints. To him, cooking was not about mindless consumption. It was art. The bubbling of a stew, the sizzle of mushrooms on a hot stone, the golden hue of caramelizing honey... it was magic.

Gruzzo’s newfound passion, however, did not go unnoticed. His clanmates, crude and narrow-minded, saw his experiments as weakness. “What’s this? Cooking bugs and flowers like a puny elf?” they sneered. They called him Weakgut and threw his creations into the fire, mocking him at every turn.

At first, Gruzzo ignored them. Cooking was his sanctuary. But the bullying only grew worse. They began poking him with sticks, stealing his tools, and finally challenging him to fight for his life and prove he hadn't grow soft.

But Gruzzo refused and to the Ragtooth Clan, this was the final insult. A goblin who wouldn’t fight was no goblin at all. One dark night, they turned on him completely. The clan leader declared Gruzzo a disgrace and ordered his death. As fires roared and weapons were raised, Gruzzo did the only thing he could.

He ran.

The World and A Lonely Goblin

Fleeing into the wilderness, Gruzzo quickly discovered that the world outside his clan was no kinder than the one he had left behind. He was alone for the first time, without the safety of numbers to ward of predators. His nights were filled with the howls of wolves and the caws of vultures, and his days were spent searching for scraps to eat.

But it was neither the hunger nor the cold what almost break him; it was the fear of others. When Gruzzo first stumbled upon a human village, filthy and starving, he dared to approach the market, his hands up in peace. But the villagers screamed when they saw him and the guards chased him with spears.

Species

Goblin

Alignment

Neutral Good

Current Status

Seeks to create "The Perfect Dish"

Age

32

Date of Birth

18th of Nazaris, 928 ADA

Birthplace

The Wailing Woods

Sex

Male

Eyes

Dark Brown

Hair

Bald

Skin Tone/Pigmentation

Light Green

Height

1.1 m

Weight

35 kg

Bonus Holiday Recipe

Ember Walnut Bites

INGREDIENTS

200g Flour from the Green Fields

(Don’t forget to sift it, ragazzo, it’s all about that texture!)

100g Semolina of the Golden Sands

(Adds a grainy texture, like a quiet autumn breeze)

100g Walnuts of the Moonlight Woods

(or any nuts you can get your hands on, maybe even a little mix for fun!)

120g Sun-Kissed Olive Oil

(Pressed under the golden rays of the midday sun, smooth and full of warmth)

60g Wild Honey from the Forest's Heart

(Golden and fragrant, collected from the hives of the mystic forest)

60g Juice and zest from oranges of the Eldergrove

(Freshly squeezed under the light of the setting sun, giving a zesty kick)

5g Cinnamon from Ahr'tul

(Spicy and fragrant, just the right touch to bring a little warmth)

2g Cloves of the Winter Bloom

(Just a pinch to keep things interesting)

5g Vanilla Essence from the Echo Isle

(A rare, sweet essence that brings comfort to the soul)

2g Ground Salt from the Salt Marsh Isles

(A delicate whisper of salt, straight from the heart of the sea)

Glimmering Honey Syrup

(For glazing, to make the Empbers shine like the stars on a winter night)

Instructions

Mix the Dough

In a large bowl, combine the flour, semolina, ground nuts, cinnamon, cloves, and 1tsp of baking soda. Add the olive oil, honey, orange juice, vanilla essence, and salt. Mix everything together into a smooth dough- don’t overwork it, just enough to bring it all together.

Gruzzo’s rule: Always taste the dough before you bake!

Shape the Cookies

Roll the dough into small oval shapes, like little golden nuggets of goodness. Press them lightly with your thumb in the center to create a small indent, perfect for holding the glaze.

Gruzzo's rule: Don't overwork the dough. Use gentle and fast moves to form the cookies.

Bake

Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place the cookies on it, giving them enough room to breathe. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until they’re golden brown with a soft center. When the cookies smell sweet and warm, they’re ready.

Prepare the Glaze

While the cookies bake, prepare the glaze. In pot, gently warm 500gr of water, 600gr of sugar, 200gr of honey, 2 cinnamon sticks, 4 cloves and the peels of 2 oranges. Let the mixture simmer for 10-15 minutes, until it thickens slightly and takes on a rich, aromatic flavor. Remove the spices and orange peels before using. Let the glaze cool to room temperature or slightly colder for that perfect contrast.

Gruzzo's Rule: Don't let the honey glaze boil with too much intensity!
Soak in Sweetness

Once the cookies are baked, dip each hot cookie into the cold honey syrup for a brief soak. The contrast of the hot cookie with the cold glaze will create a satisfying texture and enhance the flavors. The semolina will absorb the syrop while the exterior of your cookies will retain a heavenly crunch!
Serve

Let the cookies rest for a few minutes to absorb all the magic. Drizzle with honey and finely chopped walnuts.

Gruzzo's Advice: Serve the Ember Bites with a cup of mulled wine or sweet mead. The warm, nutty flavor combined with the golden honey glaze will transport anyone who tastes them to Gruzzo’s warm kitchen in the heart of winter.
Gruzzo's Real Life Facts!

This is a traditional Greek Christmas recipe called Melomakarona. They capture the scent of the holidays and taste like the warmth and closeness of family. Make sure to try it!

"Ah, old Tobin! Such a great ragazzo! He once told me, 'Kid, if you can cook as well as you can track these truffle mushrooms, then you're no monster to me!' Ah, quelle parole… they meant more than all the gold in the world. It was the first time someone saw me for what I could be, not just what I was."

— Chef Gruzzo about Tobin Lightfoot

Over time, Gruzzo learned to survive in a world that hated him. He foraged for food, testing herbs and roots, learning which flavors worked together and which would make him sick. He avoided cities during the day, sneaking into markets at night to gather discarded produce. Slowly, he grew braver. He met traveling merchants, trading wild mushrooms for spices. One merchant in particular- a kindly old halfling- was the first to show him kindness. Seeing Gruzzo’s curious eyes and descerning nose, the halfling offered him a bowl of stew and a place near his fire. Since that night, Gruzzo kept the merchant's words close to his heart, as his most revered treasure. It was the first time someone had looked at Gruzzo as more than a goblin.

From that day, Gruzzo carried his dream proudly. He taught himself to chop, to simmer, to braise. He wandered villages and towns, begging for scraps not to eat, but to cook with. His meals slowly earned trust. A bowl of mushroom soup. A plate of fresh, soft honey-glazed biscuits. Through his travels Gruzzo discovered that food was the key to people’s hearts.

It was the one thing that could bridge the gap between their fear and his dream.

From Goblin Outcast
to Gourmet Chef

Today, Gruzzo is a goblin unlike any other. Gone is the chaotic, fire-loving pest of the Ragtooth Clan. In his place stands a chef of unparalleled passion: a man who sees food not as survival, but as a gift. He wanders the lands of Kena’an with his portable kitchen, seeking rare ingredients, learning from masters, and sharing his creations with anyone willing to taste them.

He still faces prejudice, of course. To many, he is still a goblin- an unwelcome face with sharp teeth and green skin in the world of civilized cultures. But Gruzzo does not let this stop him. He greets every insult with a smile and every doubter with a plate of something delicious.

"I know what you think when you see me, amici. But, do me a favor and taste this first. Then you can tell me if I’m just a goblin."

— Chef Gruzzo to his haters