Session 9: Concern for Others, Little Hobgoblin, Not Enough Potions, Returning to Jungle, Underwater Breathing Hat, Water, Ghosts, Dissertation Defenses, Angry Floating Eyeballs, Dangerous Unidentified Potions, Elementals, Psychos

General Summary

3/20/22
It is once again time for Belovs to tuck others into bed. Grandfather takes first watch as usual. When I am finished with the meditation, I go to relieve him. He thrusts his chin over toward where Hobgoblin is sleeping and says quietly, “Restless. Nightmares.”
I look back at where Hobgoblin is now sleeping quietly. “Well,” I say. “If nightmares come back I will be sure to give him extra blanket and warm milk.” Grandfather rolls eyes and I demand, “What? What do you want me to do with information? So Hobgoblin has bad dreams? So what? Sheesh.” Grandfather shakes his head and walks toward his bedroll, flipping his hand dismissively over his shoulder as he goes.
I pace quietly around perimeter of camp as hours pass, thinking about Hobgoblin and his dreams. From little he has described about his time as slave to Sylvan necromancer, I am guessing dreams are pretty terrible. I know he wants to go back to tower where he was imprisoned, but I do not understand why. It would be like returning to Academy. Some places should stay in past. Some places should be torn down, and earth where they stood, salted.
But I have been around these assholes long enough to know we will go anyway. We will go because one of us asked, and we will go because it is mystery and none of these idiots can resist mystery. To be honest, I can not resist mystery either. I do not think you will find what you are looking for there, Baermek, but I am still wanting to take little peek inside.
Sunrise comes to jungle. Horrible nighttime insects give way to horrible daytime insects. I go over and nudge Grandfather to make sure he is still alive. It is little affectionate ritual we have. He startles awake, drawing and pointing gun at me but I already run to other side of him where I give him friendly kick in ass. Not too hard though, because he is old with bony butt, and I do not want to hurt foot. Then I do morning forms and stretches. Sometimes Cat joins me and I do not like to admit, but I am impressed. It took me years to be able to stick head up my own butt. She seems to come by it naturally.
On other side of camp, hobgoblin goes through morning ritual. You could set clock by him. Wake up, change clothes, eat food, sponge bath (and, I am warning, he does not care who sees little hobgoblin), weapon maintenance, clean up. One thing at a time, same order every day, always keeping eye out for attack. I suggest one morning that he have little bath first, then eat, just to change things up. He gives me such look and then tells me story about loudmouth Drow girl who doesn't mind own business and is brought before military tribunal for whipping. It really doesn’t have same poetry as other stories, and I suggest he workshop it more before next performance.
The rest of us manage to get ready even if we do things not in correct Hobgoblin order. I am happy this morning because it is time for hook up with GG, and tormenting Little Man with not subtle flirtation is good fun.
We head to cryptoporter room. After much sneaking around and observing, we decide coast is clear and everyone enters room. I have already sent little message to GG letting him know I am coming so there is nothing to do but dial up library and slam porter down on pedestal. I doubt slamming is necessary, but it looks more dramatic that way.
Light so bright my eyes are crying despite goggles. And then… library. It is cool and quiet and smells like dust and books, and it is such wonderful break from terrible light and heat of jungle that I want to keep crying because I know I have to go back.
GG jumps down from stool where he was sitting. He is holding small crate. I must get back as soon as possible so we make exchange quickly. It is not good that he has only found us 8 potions, but we will make do. I give him maps and book and only threaten him little bit, which is unsatisfying, but he does get all nervous and squirmy, so not without payoff. Sweet little man. As if I would hurt him. I mean unless someone was paying me. Or he was really annoying. But probably I will not ever hurt him. Like 10% chance at most.
Goggles on, eyes screwed shut and feeling very sorry for myself, I port back to jungle. I know I am there when air around me smells like armpit, and I can hear Bird and Cat vigorously debating best types of fish they like to eat. I have not mentioned this before but they are talking about fish probably four hours every day, and no, is not exaggeration. Four hours, minimum.
But now it is time for Mage Academy! No bullshit, it is exciting to be going place Sylvans have not been able to access. What kind of treasures might we find? What exciting new things will I get to hit with stick?
There is some talk about how to deal with not enough potions for everyone, but Grandfather has idea. He pulls bits and bobs out of bag, extra parts left over from work on Boris I guess, and spends hour making them into hat, of sorts. It looks like clear bowl that goes over head with little tubes that hang down attached to mismatched bags. He demonstrates by putting over head then pumping air into bowl using bags.
“You should wear hat Granddaughter,” he says, going to remove device now that he has demonstrated it. I try to keep straight face and say, “No, no Grandfather, I insist you wear, for safety purposes. I am much better at underwater than you.” Then I laugh and laugh because he looks like total idiot.
We travel to where Sylvans have been excavating. Academy tower has fallen over and top is now sticking out from cliff face at angle. Constant stream of water flows from exposed tower, creating small creek. It is very strange sight.
We take potions, which might not taste too awful except they come from Underdark, so medium is mushroom based just like everything else. It is disgusting, but still I am little bit homesick as I choke it down. With Grandfather looking so very handsome in new hat, we now have enough potions for everyone to have two hours of water breathing. No idea how large academy is, so we hope it is enough.
We enter tower from top and start making our way down length of it. Because it is now sideways, staircases have become passages and what were floors are now walls between rooms. New floor is very deep with muck and most of us are swimming above it trying not to make water dirty. Grandfather and Boris are not great at the swimming though, so they walk along ground behind rest of us, kicking up cloud of silt as they go. I have told him many times that reliance on armor and mechanical contraptions is weakness, but he always just says, “Shut up Granddaughter and hand me screwdriver.”
So, it is not surprise at all when Grandfather is one who is grabbed by weird whirling bone monsters that come up out of muck. They start scrambling up his legs and I watch for moment in bemusement. I am wondering, what exactly do bones hope to achieve here?
But moment of contemplation is over. Cannot allow Grandfather to be…what? Poked to death? by pissed off bones. We all start bashing on them except Cat who heads into next room and promptly gets jumped by even more bones. We finish off first bones, then go to help Cat. Takes us not long to finish off second bone monster as well.
Cat leads on and tower becomes less busted up as further we go. We finally come to room that has window in it, only window is pointing downward. We go through window and enter large room with two big fucked up metal doors on one side, and three passageways on the other. Big doors look to be main entrance, and are now blocked off by dirt and rubble. Also blocked off is one of passageways. Another passageway has what seems like maybe classrooms. Third hallway leads past smaller set of doors and up some stairs to area that looks like it might have air pocket. That is promising. We go that way.
First, we are stopping to inspect doors. Cat picks lock which is hard because everything is old and has been under water for long ass time, but she manages to get them open. Inside is relatively large room, one side buried in rubble. Near to door we find sign which says in Old Sylvan “Library.” Nothing in here has survived destruction and we are ready to move on when we see moving light flash in far corner of room. It disappears then shows up again in opposite corner.
It is ghost. I mean if you are going to see ghost, this seems like place for it, but still, is spooooky ghost.
Except no, not even little bit spooky. We talk to ghost, and do you want to know what he is worried about? Homework. Thousands of fucking years he has haunted this dump, just waiting for professors to come listen to book report. I do not know why but we follow him to presentation room and pretend to be professors just so we can listen to report. Maybe if we give him bad grade he will flip out and attack us which would let me check “kill ghost” off bucket list.
But, oh my god, it is so much loads of bullshit. I am falling asleep again even remembering. It is something like “blah blah chimera blah life coding blah mutation blah blah commercialization blah blah blah reproductive inhibitors blah shortened life span blah blah blah.” But there is funny bit, and that is when he is done talking and Cat and Bird look like this:

After ghost finishes book report he disappears, and we continue exploring. Do not find much until we come to locked door marked “Dean’s Office.” Cat unlocks door and, as she opens it, large ball made of eyes, teeth and bad intentions comes around corner.
Everyone freaks out and runs down hall to fight big eye monster. Cat calls out “Be right there!” and goes into office to do I don’t know what. Maybe take dump? Cats are very private about these things.
It is hairy fight. Second eyeball creature shows up and they shoot magic out of their little tentacle eyeball thingies. One of them made Grandfather attack Bird. Another one made me attack Grandfather, and yes, that is thing that really happened. I hardly need monster excuse to attack Old Man if I want to. You know this. But we do manage to kill them and it is very gross what with ichor and all. Sure hope we never see anything like those creatures again. But how likely is that, really?
And also, where is Cat? Still in office. She has found some strange stones, old coins, and metal drawer with label on it that Hobgoblin tells us says “Restricted Substances and Summoning Room.” Drawer contains little metal puzzle that becomes key if you fiddle with it long enough. We take short rest so we can all of us take turns fiddling it. Who says exploring ancient ruins isn’t fun?
After break, we decide I will scout water-filled tunnel because I am able to move quickest through water. Lucky me. Even luckier, I get to wear hat. I’m sure it looks better on me than Grandfather, but this is not saying so much.
Tunnel is long, passing along backside of library, and contains more offices that I give quick look in. Time and water have destroyed everything inside. I continue following hallway, which turns, and turns again before descending staircase to lower level. Ahead I see strange flickering light.
I pass closed door on left before coming to source of flickering light. Stairway going down leads to… cryptoporter room! Only it is all crazy, full of swirling water and lightning bolts and probably instant death. Too much drama for me and my little hat. I back out and look further down hall. There is one more room with closed door and sign and then tunnel ends. Time to head back. I stop about hundred feet from group and take off hat before coming out of water. I am not having vanity, as you know, but there are limits.
We take second potion and group follows me back down hallway. We decide to explore locked rooms before dealing with porter room. Hobgoblin says sign by first door is “Summoning Room.” Puzzle key opens lock. Inside is evidence of summoning circle but most components have been washed away by water. Sure hope there was nothing contained in summoning circle when school was flooded. That would be terrible!
We are heading past porter room to check out second locked door when water starts being pushy asshole. Hey look, it is water elemental who must have escaped from summoning circle. What are chances? It beats ever-loving crap out of Bird and Cat. Maybe there is reason they do not like water – it certainly seems that water does not like them. We defeat elemental finally and nobody is knocked unconscious, which is unusual for us. Go team asshole.
We go to second locked door which is also opened with puzzle key. This room has sign that says “Restricted Substances Room.” That is not least bit horrifying. Grandfather loves restricted substances though, so he rushes in there to dig through rubble. He finds only one vial that is not broken though – it is clear and filled with very fine red powder, tightly sealed.
When we go downstairs and look into cryptoporter room we can see that there is still porter on pedestal at center. It seems to be source of lightning and nastiness. It is also going to be source of lots of gold coins when we give it to Lightkeepers. I am about ready to run in there and grab it, lightning be damned, but cat casts little spell and sends out magical hand to grab it. As soon as cryptoporter leaves pedestal lightning stops, and so, too, does water. We should not port to that location then, I think. At least not without many more of very fashionable hats.
On way out of academy we use wand to make sure there is nothing magical we have missed and we find second vial in Restricted room. This one is made of metal and also tightly sealed. Still no idea what it might contain. That is all though, no more magic items.
It takes us not very long to exit Academy now that we have explored all areas not blocked off by rubble. No Sylvan ambush waiting for us, which is always good news. We strike out northeast of ruins and Cat finds us very nice camp spot.
While Grandfather is on watch he opens both vials because there is no one there to tell him he is stupid. That is problem with leaving Grandfather on watch by himself. Anyhow, first one, with red powder, eats his knife. Second one makes what is left of knife very sharp. Definitely useful, but still stupid to open all willy-nilly.
Then it is my watch. It is early in morning, and I am sitting listening to jungle waking up. All others are asleep and it is moment of rare peacefulness. But then my head is filled with squeaky voice. It is GG and he says, “Hope you’re safe. Book is journal. Fucking creepy author. Started over year ago. Familiar spying, tracking Skreek. Copy in bottom shelf right of entrance stairs.” He is getting better at making messages that do not cut off, but I wish he waited hour or two to tell me.
Still, his voice makes me smile so I respond, “Completed exploration of Mage Academy. Many interesting things. Talked to ghost of ancient Sylvan! Too much to tell. Will pick up book soon. Thanks, Cutie!” I know he will love hearing about ghost — hope someone else was paying better attention during book report.
When others wake up, we go through morning rituals – the kicking of Grandfather, the airing of Little Hobgoblin, all of that. Then we go back to porter room, Still no one there, so I make another quick jaunt to Library. GG is not waiting, which is bit disappointing, but copy of journal is where he said it would be. And box of sweets with note that says “Thinking of you!” I suspect it is bribe to keep on my good side, which is quite acceptable deal really. Chances of me killing him are down to 7-8%. Tops.
Back through porter and out into jungle. I pass around candy, and we sit down to listen to Hobgoblin read pages GG has given us.
Holy shit…
Guess it is time to face nightmares, Baermek. Looks like we are going to tower.

Report Date

27 Mar 2022