Session 4: Lightkeepers, Freehold, Banks, Missing Junkies, Theme Bars, Dwarf Bars, Blackhand Douchebags, and Medical Experiments
General Summary
Dinner Interlude:
Surprise! We are at Lightkeeper Clubhouse in shithole city of Freehold, many hundreds of miles from Anarius. It is good thing I suppose, that GG knew how to use so-called “cryptoporter.” Less good that he suspected we had one. Perhaps we are not as sneaky as we think. He tells us to hide cryptoporter in secret bag until we can talk with his boss, Lightkeeper Siler Stonegazer. Also, we notice there is still something rattling around inside of cylinder.
Accommodations are nice change from sleeping on cave floors. After brief rest and welcome bathing opportunity, we are escorted to dinner on first floor of Administration building. People we see are usual bunch of cave dwelling jerks. In dining room are many artifacts and valuable pieces of art. I try to be inconspicuous as I note locations of particularly portable objects.
We are seated at long table with Keeper Stonegazer on one end and GG at other. GG looks more relaxed than he has since we met him. Keeper has big fancy stick up his butt but otherwise seems ok. He tells us about Lightkeepers. They have been around forever and are dedicated to studying and restoring knowledge from so-called Age of Light. Mostly this just seems to involve scholars and mages wandering around collecting bunch of old shit. We are at their Headquarters and leader is Zinnala Stillguard.
We tell Keeper about what we found in Anarius and our run-in with Sylvans. Hobgoblin seems to particularly relish tale of dead Sylvans. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy dead Sylvans? But this guy seems to take it to whole other level. Turns out he was servant for Sylvan mage and was taught their language for helping with library research. Ran away when his master was arrested for unspecified reasons. I guess was not positive work experience. I mean, he really likes dead Sylvans.
When we describe symbols on FancyPants’s armor, Keeper recognizes it as Knight Suns of the Realm, an order of Paladins. Kind of thought as much, what with having to kill him twice and all. He tells us when Sylvans arrived here they seemed to already know much about ancient history.
Rest of dinner is business. Will we work for them and help them discover what Sylvans are up to? Possibly. Will we sell them artifacts? Sure. Spellbook + Letters + a week to study magic bag + Cryptoporter = 5000 gp. Not bad. Also give us 125% exchange rate on old coins. Very nice. I feel shopping trip coming on.
Session 4
We head into town and first stop is Bank, for those stupid enough to trust financial institutions. Which is everyone but me. No surprise there.
We visit the armorer Death Dealer Dan, and Grandfather places order for fancy mithral breastplate. Then we head to small shop called Wunderbar that stocks magical items. It is run by fire genasi named Prescott (who has truly ridiculous accent) and is guarded by golems. While we are shopping for items, upset Drow woman emerges from backroom and hangs up reward poster. This is Prescott’s wife Jesteera, and she is offering reward for finding her brother, Aywin Daebelar. According to Prescott, Aywin is total deadbeat and probably got himself killed down in Bloodwater. Aywin’s friend Osterman, a fisherman, might have more information.
We agree to look into missing brother because Prescott offers us discount on magical items if we can find out what happened to this yahoo. But first, cringe-worthy expedition to Daybreak, an Overland theme bar that GG insists on taking us to. I could describe it for you, but brain has blocked out all memory. Sorry.
GG tells us Lightkeepers have noticed Sylvans excavating in concerning areas up on surface and they are probably going to ask us to investigate. We ask GG about Bloodwater and he tells us it is slums, made entirely of floating barges and piers which have been lashed together. To get there we must take lift at Ruby Spire. Also, do not drink or even touch water, he tells us. So only question is, who falls in first?
It probably comes as no surprise, but Gnomes cannot hold drink. Or at least GG can not. It is almost cute. We roll him out of terrible restaurant and send him home while we head to Bloodwater to earn deep, deep discount on choice items.
We find Osterman at second tavern we check, the Rusty Anchor, a real shithole. He is human, with brown, shaggy hair, and nasty scar on face. Asshole tells us he was supposed to meet up with Aywin two days ago, but kid never showed up. Apparently Aywin owes some money, but his sister usually bails him out. Also, he is heavily addicted to Glow, which is hugely popular drug in Bloodwater. Supplies started drying up couple of months ago, but Aywin heard he could score some from The Black Hands, who are gang of dwarves that hang out at tavern called The Dead End.
So we head to new shithole tavern, this one run by some asshole named Oneck, who will not serve me. He serves cat lady, but not me. Perhaps it is stunning beauty that intimidates him, but I suspect he is racist pig. As there is decent chance this place will catch on fire and sink at some point during our visit, I forgo giving him beat down he deserves.
We find table and sit down, but assholes on either side of us keep shooting us looks. I make with witty banter and have usual success – they attack us. Two guys disappear, one grows big, one gets small. They have some kind of blade that gets in head and fucks you up. One of them magics Cat and she shoots Hobgoblin. In effort to be “team player” I do not laugh out loud.
We kill 3 of them and then question leader. I must admit, Hobgoblin may talk lot of shit, but damn. He just up and cuts off two of guy’s fingers. That’s all it takes before asshole sings like Bird (who is terrible singer to be honest).
He tells us that if kid is still alive we will find him at “The Chophouse” where Black Hand is doing “the research.” Chophouse is protected by six deep dwarves and some dogs. It is two story building, with single ramp in front, and access by boat at rear. Lab is upstairs.
Actually, now that I think about it, he sings better than Bird.
After quick rest so others can recuperate from minor scuffle, we head to this Chophouse. There are two guards with dogs out front by ramp. Although we are tempted to just run in and fuck shit up, we decide to try new experience of not being dumbasses instead. I am happy because I get to use new spell I just figured out that makes loud assholes into quiet assholes. We steal two boats and approach loading dock in rear. We see prisoners in cages suspended over water, two humans and one dwarf, none of them matching description of Aywin. Poor bastards look three quarters dead, but we put them to sleep when we enter so they do not give us away. Cat and I sneak upstairs where she stabs sleeping guy, which, honestly, is about what you would expect from knife-wielding cat. She and Hobgobin are now both in running to be current favorite.
We try to sneak up on creepy guy standing at a lab table with his back to us, but former Cat Toy has now bled out all over the floor and dripping blood sets off dogs downstairs. We knock out creepy guy but two dwarves leap up from below and Grandfather sends his new toy, Boris over to keep dogs from coming upstairs. Another small scuffle and dwarves are no longer problem. Unfortunately before dying, assholes gave healing potion to creepy guy who jumped up, disappeared, and ran off. Cat loots desk, finding journal and some vials of mysterious goop, then follows blood trail of creepy guy outside. We corner him on ramp leading to pier but bastard blows himself up! Cat and I have bonding near death experience.
We free Alwyn who looks like he was next in line for “research,” clean ourselves up, loot bodies (3 healing potions, 250 gp and five vials of mysterious stuff) and escort him back to his sister. Ungrateful asshole asks us to give him vials. Apparently Black Hands are trying to synthesize Glow by concentrating brain juice from addicts. Fucking dwarves.
Sister is amazed to see brother alive. I don’t blame her, he is too stupid to live. We get discount at shop and I replace magic quarterstaff with magic quarterstaff that does not require Grandfather to make it magic, which is great. Like ten times a day he would ask me, “So Alyona, do you like magic staff I make you?” Pathetic old man.
And hey, nobody fell in nasty red water, so big round of applause for Team Dipshit.
Report Date
17 Jan 2022