Session 12: Little Shadows, Big Shadows, Debriefings, Elbows, Ancient Rituals, One Word Answers, Strange Magical Jewelry, Oleg, Knives, Ambushes, Poop, Sylvans in General, Golariel in Particular, Public Humiliation, Eating People, and Baermek

General Summary

We check rest of floor we are on and find nothing but empty rooms and dead people. So, we decide to look again at contraption that goes up and down. There are up and down buttons next to it, even on ground floor. How much more down can you go than ground floor? None, none more down is answer. So this is not being ground floor, obviously.
When we look down shaft, we can see something like trapdoor on top of contraption. Bird flutters down and opens it with mighty heave. And what is this? More checkerboard floor? Damn! these Sylvans would probably port to bathroom if they could, lazy bastards.
We climb down rope into room and look around. It is very simple chamber, no statues at all and on pedestal we find something is stuck in hole where cryptoporter would go. Ingoria uses spooky hand to remove it. Looks like maybe it is lock to keep others from porting into this room. That is something that might be useful. We put it in bag.
There is nothing more to see here, so we climb back up rope to to next floor. All of us, except Grandfather, who is last one. I am just looking back over shoulder to call to him to hurry up when I hear him yell “Fuck!” from down below. I give big sigh, roll eyes and let go of rope, dropping back down to floor next to him.
Room isn’t as empty as it looked. There is another shadow creature here. No wait. Make that two shadow creatures. Hold on. There is third one, and this one is pissed off Big Daddy shadow that can put out our lights, which I mean in literal way as in “make it dark,” but also, maybe, in figurative sense, meaning “make us unconscious and dead.”
It is doing its best to be figurative as fuck.
There is tavern I have been to that is not too far from Academy. Students are not allowed to leave Academy grounds, of course, but it is school for sneaking, so that ends up being rule that is very hard to enforce. Anyhow, tavern is very popular with Academy drow, and there they play loud music and have magical lanterns that flash different colors, on and off, and everyone drinks very much and jumps around like idiots.
This fight is very much like that tavern. There is lights that are turning on and turning off, over and over again. There is much jumping around like idiots. There is no music, which is too bad, but I am humming one of more popular songs under breath as I swing staff, and some of shouts and swearing are almost like singing if you use imagination, so analogy is solid. I wish I could be doing heavy drinking right now.
Maybe I am little bit too much thinking of good analogies and not enough of paying attention to fight, because I am hit very hard by Big Daddy. Fucking goddamn piece of shit shadow! I swear to god it sucks most of strength out of my body. I am barely able to hold stick! Good thing that, even though I may be weak as Grandfather, I am still fast, so I can run up and hit shadow then run away again. Not very badass I know, but I am having nothing to prove to these assholes. They know I am badass.
Both little shadows are dead pretty quick, but Big Daddy shadow is still causing trouble. It knocks Skreek unconscious, but this happens often in fights, so no one pays much mind to pathetic little squawk he makes when he goes down. Baermek heals him up as usual, but then hobgoblin gets hit, and Big Daddy does strength-sucking thing to him, too. This is not being good! Skreek, now awake again, struggles to his knees and shoots asshole shadow, who dies with scream, which is fucking weird and creepy, but also it is music to our ears, because we are seriously fucked up. Now Bird is all puffed up and preening about shooting shadow, and I do not give him hardly any shit at all, because, I have to be honest, it was good shot.
I crawl over to wall of porter room, sliding backpack off my shoulders. Even that little bit of work is making me tired, which is bullshit. I rummage through bag and find sending stone. “GG,” I say into it. “We are coming home for little rest now. Hope you’re wearing something sexy. All clear?” His little voice pipes back into my ear, “All clear!”
“Hey, assholes,” I say, voice little bit weak and shaky, which is not so good. “Let’s go back to Lightkeepers. I am needing nap!” There is much agreement.
We make jump, which is old business now. It is funny though, they have cleaned out porter room – no more books – and there are ropes around pedestal. I guess they are worried about what we might bring with us. They are not stupid, these Lightkeepers. Well except that they are trusting us, which is totally stupid, but nobody is being perfect.
I try to head to room for meditation, but that is not what is happening apparently. No, it is time for debriefing with GG and Silar. At least they feed us, but I am zoning out over food, while others tell them about mage academy and engineering school. They are very impressed and ask many questions, and twice Grandfather elbows me in ribs – hard! – when I close my eyes and drift into meditation state. Asshole. What does it matter if I meditate here? Who needs input of teenager with stick? But then I hear something which wakes me right fuck up. TWELVE THOUSAND GOLD! That is what they are giving us for junk we found.
Well, pass me slice of mushroom pie, Lightkeepers, is there anything else you want to know about Sylvan bullshit?
But that is highlight. After that is more blah, blah, blah. You are missing nothing. Finally, there are no more mushrooms to eat and talking is finished. Surely now it is time for meditating…
No, now it is time to talk to skull. I do not understand why we need to talk to fucking skull right fucking now. But fine, whatever. Let’s talk to fucking skull.
We go back to our quarters and it is just us, no Lightkeepers. Baermek will be one to talk to skull since they are best friends and everything. We sit in circle, with skull in middle, and light candle. Smoke comes up and Baermek gets totally stoned! I am not making the joke! His eyes go all glassy and he is swaying, and I am certain that pretty soon he will be asking for snacks. I laugh when I see it, but then Grandfather elbows me AGAIN. I have bruise in my side from his bony fucking elbow. That is it. I am going to kill him tomorrow, when I am rested up and can really take time to enjoy it.
Bermek says to skull, “It’s been untold centuries since the Cataclysm, yet the Emperor remains. We have stumbled upon evidence of what happened to you, and events leading up to the Cataclysm. We are concerned that the emperor is trying to resume his work. Influence of the Sylvan Empire grows on a daily basis. We found you in the ruins of Anarius and have been able to piece together some of this information. We have an interest in combating the expansion of Sylvan influence. Through this ritual we can only ask a few questions to help us.” Then he asks for code to open cryptoporter we found in Anarius.
Smoke swirls around skull for minute, then is sucked inside like skull is taking big breath. “Frieeeeennnnd,” it whispers. Grandfather right away enters code into porter, which pops open. Silver ring falls into his hand, and he puts it on finger and reaches into satchel. Inside is pouch, and inside pouch is folded letter and bracelet connected to three rings by thin gold chains. On bracelet is black pearl and five amethysts. It is very pretty bauble if you like that sort of thing, but seems like problem for fighting. Hopefully we can sell it to Lightkeepers for much more money.
There is also note from Kerryth to Arryn about this being some kind of weapon for Shadowhunters to fight Radiants. But it sounds like it may be very dangerous, so we definitely should not put it on and try to use it ourselves. That would be terrible idea.
Baermek thanks skull and then asks, “If we traveled to Amaynus Academy where should we look to find more information or help?”
The skull sucks in smoke again, then breaths out, “Shadowhunters.” Huh. One word answers are kinda bullshit, am I right? What does that even fucking mean?
But Baermek is all, “Thank you, thank you, amazing dead skull guy from long ago that probably fucked up entire world with super secret plan.” I mean, he did not say this in so many words, but basically this is thing he said. Then he asks, “What is the Radiance?” And skull sucks in smoke again and says, “Changelings.” Sure, skull, whatever. Thanks a whole lot. Can I please go meditate now?
Not yet, not yet. Now we must look more at jewelry and everyone is trying it on. Baermek and Skreek are not liking it at all. Grandfather tries it on and he is all meh. I try it on and it looks stupid on me. Also, it fucks with ki or something. I do not feel like I am ok for fighting with this on me. I pull it off very fast before it can affect me more, and throw it to Ingoria. And she loves it. She puts it back on and keeps looking at sparklies and purring. Great. Now we have psycho Cat wearing ancient experimental magic jewelry that creators worried might be dangerous. This is genius fucking idea. Everyone seems to be ok with this. I am not ok with this.
At least they finally let me meditate.

******************

I am feeling so much better now. Strength is back, wounds are healed. It is amazing how much of difference four hours spent contemplating mysteries of universe can make. It is too bad that only other person who is up right now is Old Elbows. I am having no wish to talk to him right now. Instead I climb out window and up to roof where I can sit and look out at city and enjoy cool air of cavern. There is noise – there is always noise in city – but it is people noise mostly, not jungle noise, and it sounds like home. Freehold is nothing like Drowtown, of course, but that is not bad thing. Drow are fucking assholes and Drowtown is crawling with Unseen. This is better. I lay down on tiles of roof and look up at lights on cave roof far above me. Future is too much to think about right now, so I try to think of happy memory instead. It is not… easiest… thing for me to do. But then there is one that comes into my head which is… well… it does make me smile. That is happiness, no?
I am waiting outside the armory. Other students pass by me, looking at me curiously, but I glare at them and they keep moving. Even Upstairs, some of us have a reputation. I work hard at maintaining mine.
Oleg emerges, hunching over to pass through the door frame. Beside him are his friends, or at least what counts as friends in this place. Call them allies, perhaps. I push myself away from the wall and take a step toward them. They both glance at Oleg, then back at me, then turn abruptly to leave. He doesn’t notice. His eyes are fixed on mine, suspicious.
“Belov,” he grumbles, his voice low and raspy. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I don’t know, Oleg. Maybe I have a little proposition for you,” I wink at him suggestively. He doesn’t buy it, though. I guess he’s smarter than he looks. He tries to shove past me. Once again I wish that I had my staff with me, but he’d never let me near him if I did. Everyone has seen me fight with the staff. So, here I am, about to take on a guy twice my size, with a goddamn knife. Why? Why is it always a knife?
The fucking thing is already in my hand – I hardly notice, it feels so natural there. His arm swings forward as he walks, leaving his side momentarily unprotected, and I lunge.
Stab! (I)
Stab! (FUCKING)
Stab! (HATE)
Stab! (KNIVES)
Stab! Stab! Stab!
He collapses, and I dance backwards to avoid being pinned. Dropping the knife on his body, I squat down to study his face. His eyes stare up at me sightlessly. Never mind, he was exactly as dumb as he looked. Stupid fucker didn’t get in so much as a single swing at me – really, the Unseen are better off without him.
“I told you to leave her the fuck alone,” I say to the corpse, patting him on the cheek gently.
“Belov!” the voice rings down the hall. I look down at my blood-spattered clothes and sigh. Still, so fucking worth it. I snatch up the knife as I stand, then walk slowly toward the Administrator's office, wiping it off on a clean part of my shirt and giving it a quick twirl over my knuckles before I slide it back into its holster.
I glance down at hand, half expecting there to be knife, but it is empty. I take in another deep breath of cool cavern air, and sigh. Let us face facts, everything is completely fucked. In just few little hours I am going back to stupid jungle to deal with fucking Sylvans who I do not care about even tiny bit. But it could be worse. I could be back at Academy. Because that, right there? Killing Oleg? That was good memory.
Funny thing is… bad memories also involve knives. But, don’t everyone’s?

*************

In morning it is, Zottttt! back to Engineering school. (There was shopping that happened, but it was boring, so I am not wasting your time telling you about it. It is bad enough I had to be there.) School is just like we left it – dark, creepy, and fucked up. I am so happy to be back, I cannot even tell you.
There is only one place we have not explored – third floor. There we are finding what looks like target range for strange projectile weapons that Grandfather calls “flintlocks” or “guns” (for some science reason I am not knowing). This is not very exciting really, until Skreek discovers one of targets is Bird person and gets all puffed up and indignant. Bird will never stop being funny! Also, Grandfather finds two more working guns. You would think at this point he would be little bit less excited – I mean, I would not be that excited to have four staffs, but he is so overjoyed he almost cracks smile, and you know that is pretty fucking overjoyed for that asshole.
Other side of third floor looks like place where they studied making little Boris-like machines. Most of information is lost. Machines they were working on are simpler than Boris, so not of much interest to Grandfather. And writings that are still there on chalkboards seem to make no sense to people who care enough to try reading them, which is not me.
And there! Now we are done exploring engineering school. So now, comes fun part – killing Sylvans! If we must be here doing this thing (and Lightkeepers already told us we did not have to come back, so really we are doing killing recreationally, I guess), then let me kill something that can look back at me. Shadows were bullshit. I want to look into someone’s eyes while they die. What? It is Belov thing. Do not be judging. You have many quirks, also.
We go back downstairs and get ready to open front doors. We took many precautions to make sure Sylvans did not know we are in here, so there is almost no chance there will be ambush waiting for us. Seriously, how could they possibly know we are here?
You know what is coming, don’t you?
Grandfather opens door. I am standing by with necklace that has balls on it that we hope will explode if we throw them, but we are not actually knowing, so I am feeling perhaps not full of confidence. Ingoria peeks out as soon as crack is wide enough to see. “There’s someone out there!” she yells before she goes rigid for brief moment. Fortunately she is able to shake off whatever Sylvan bullshit they tried to cast on her. Guess our favorite mage is out there. Too bad we do not get to visit – I would like to tell him how much I have enjoyed meeting him. Grandfather closes door immediately, and right before it is locking into place we hear horns calling out, some short notes and longer ones. Too-eet! Too-eet! Bunch of assholes who have kicked our butts and beaten us to every site are here! Too-eet! Too-eet! Hurry! Hurry! Come get your asses kicked by them too! Too-eet!
There is reason we have kicked their asses, and reason is that we are not stupid. We do not open door again; we run asses down to porter room (I keep staff out in case any more shadows decide to annoy us, but they are all taking naps or dead or something). Another Zottttt! And now we are in public cryptoporter room. I use ki energy to draw shadows around everyone, making them not so fucking obvious, and we run toward where main camp is.
Ingoria and I scout camp. There are still plenty of Sylvans, but we cannot get good count. We decide to try to sneak in and grab chest. Skreek is to make the distraction. I am going to give you three guesses what he is choosing to… yes, yes, it does involve poop. Stupid freaking bird dive bombs their well and poops in it. Is impressive display of precision pooping I guess, but for fuck’s sake, Bird! Then he redeems self by shooting fucking shit out of guards at main entrance gate. Have you ever had feelings of both love and hate for same person? That is me and how I feel about Bird.
Guards start yelling “Bird guy! Bird guy!” and Commondant Fuckwad, guy with silver hair, comes out of tent to see what fuss is. “Oh no!” he says. “I hope no one has pooped in our well!” Ha ha, Silver!
Then he takes out sword and points it at Skreek. His eyes light up, and out of sword comes amazingly bright white light, all filled with rainbows and sparkles and, it is being dazzling is all I can say.
But this is unacceptable situation! I draw up more ki energy and make it silence on area all around tent. I am hoping it will make magic hard to do or force magic users away from tent so that Ingoria can sneak in. Then I do sensible thing and drop behind palisade wall, hanging from top by fingers. Ah, so many precious memories of Academy today.
Skreek kills another guard and shoots Silver right in his butt! (Really it is shoulder, but who is telling story?) Silver does very annoying thing where he moves himself and this other guy, who is wearing heavy armor, out of range of silence spell. Well so much for that ki – good thing I have so very much to spare.
“There is mage here!” Silver yells, “To me!” (Really he just says “Mage! To me!” which causes everyone to freak out because we think he has way to call mage to him, but no, he is just making assumptions which are not good assumptions, and, as Grandfather always says to me, “Assumptions make ass out of you.”)
Speaking of which, Grandfather starts muttering under his breath and makes quick gesture with his left hand. Mage in heavy armor gives startled yell as armor starts to glow red, and smell of cooking person fills the air. Ha ha! That is good one, Grandfather!
Then Ingoria fucking slaughters other guard. She stabs sword through his chest, then drops dagger from other hand so she can use claws to rip out guy’s throat, with savage meow. You know that sound cats make when they are feeling frisky? Yeah, it is much like that. As battle cries go, it is terrifying. I'm not going to lie.
But Silver is not impressed. Instead he makes angry face at super dead scout and says, “You don’t die until I say you can die.” (No he is not speaking in Common. I have to ask Baermek afterwards what he said in case it was good insult for my list). Dead scout gets back up, which I guess is sign of really effective management.
Silver runs past Ingoria, then does little magic thing and appears suddenly at top of wall. He tries to do magic at Ingoria but she shrugs it off. I am happy though because he has come right to me. I pull myself back up on top of wall next to him and say, “Hello. Golariel. Your hair is looking fabulous today.” Then I give him a solid whack with stick. He replies by pulling down fucking column of light. Me and Baermek jump out of way, but still it hurts like holy fuck.
A couple of arrows thwack into this fucker and he turns to look angrily at Skreek. First he tries to do thing where he makes fist at Bird and pulls it toward him, but Skreek is not affected. Then he looks right in Skreek’s eyes and whistles. Just whistles. And Skreek comes flying at him like he’s got the biggest load of poop ready to drop on him, but instead he falls to knees in front of Silver and bows before him!!!
It is middle of fight, but rest of us take moment to make eye contact at each other and lift eyebrows and make other surprised faces. But Silver does not take moment to be surprised. He just makes satisfied little smile then turns and stabs Ingoria really hard.
In meantime, Heavy Metal mage who is still cooking in armor, has cast same make hot spell back at Grandfather’s armor and now it’s really starting to smell like barbecue out here. Mage sneers at Grandfather (Yes, I totally could see this from where I was standing, do not be asshole!) and says in deep, tough guy voice, “I can do this all day.”
You know, maybe Silver should not have stabbed Ingoria quite so hard, because she loses her little Cat mind and kills shit out of him. First she stabs him in back, then she rips out throat with her fucking teeth. As he falls from palisade wall, she is still snarling and tearing at his throat, riding him right down to ground. There is heavy thud as they land, then just sounds of ripping flesh and snarling. It is… intense, and you know I have seen many intense things. While Cat has always been very at ease with the killing (I always liked that about her), she has never acted like this before, and I am now thinking very hard about new jewelry she is wearing. Suddenly, this fight does not seem so much fun.
Heavy Metal guy casts some kind of force wave out and I am thrown back against palisade which hurts, but I am still able to hear Grandfather reply to mage, “I can do this all day, too. When you are dead, I will still be doing it.” And this is true. He kills that asshole, then continues to cook him even after he is dead. It is gross, sure, but also has style, and I am glad that at least one Belov has not shamed family name today.
Once Silver is dead (really, really fucking dead), Skreek gets back up, and is looking furious. None of us look him in eyes, because, well, even I know it would be bad to acknowledge what happened to him. Some things are too shameful to be witnessed, even for guy who has no shame pooping in front of us all fucking time. He has been very wound up since he found out about Sylvans creating his people as slaves. I do not think this will be helping him achieve inner peace.
Last of Sylvans are easy enough to kill. Grandfather starts to cut up what remains of Silver and is shoving pieces into satchel. Why? I am not sure. Why does Grandfather do anything? But he is mumbling something about making sure they can not bring him back. Before he started with butchery, we removed some nice chainmail, the sword that shoots lightning out of it, and tangled set of keys. We also get some half plate (still warm!) off mage. Locked chest from tent is still not being opened, so we decide to put in satchel. This means Grandfather must take pieces of Silver back out of satchel and just take head. There is blood fucking everywhere and hunks of Sylvans and now Skreek is back to pooping on everything, so at least all that is normal.
Baermek walks up to me and takes me by arm. “Alyona,” I look up at him, not sure why he has singled me out. “I wanted to say that I recognize and appreciate your professional approach.” I scoff and turn away from him, but he gives my arm gentle tug and I turn back to face him again. “These last few days have been…chaotic. I’m not sure what to make of the behavior change in Skreek.” We both look to where Bird is hooting with angry glee as he poops all over corpses. “Not to mention the Tabaxi. Perhaps, some time to process the revelations about his nature will temper the bird. Ingoria is, and has always been, a mystery. But that is not what I pulled you aside for. Before we leave the scene here I am going to leave a message for the remaining Sylvans at Bellaluna’s recommendation.”
I am just looking at him and raising the eyebrow. Why is he telling me this? Why does he think I even care?
“Let me know if you have questions. I do not wish to tarry long.”
“I have...” I take deep breath and let it out, “... SO many questions.” I doubt he has answers to many of them. “So, what does scary witch who lives in your head tell you to do?”
“So far, she asked for me to kill Golarial and his armored companion, in exchange for a measure of power to use. There will be other things, no doubt.”
Well, that is honest, at least. I close my eyes and rub forehead. “And what would she need to promise you to convince you to try to kill me? Or Grandfather?”
He looks a bit little bit shocked by question. “I have no reason to believe she would be able to pay that price.”
He is not saying there is no price that could be paid. He has price. Everyone has price. I sigh and look at his fuzzy face. I want to like him, this is not lie. But I am afraid I will have to kill him sooner or later, and I do not enjoy so much the killing of people I like. It is… unpleasant. “Mmmmmm hmmmm,” I reply noncommittally. “What message is it she is wanting you to leave for Sylvans?”
“The Sylvan symbol for “Danger,” same as they painted on the sign near the bridge to her tower. She seems to think it will convey special meaning to the surviving Sylvans.” He sees look on my face and shrugs, “Some sort of bullshit politics, I suspect.”
“And this you are going to do? Without knowing what is her purpose?” I ask with amazement. Why is everyone so fucking dumb?
“Yes. It is simple enough and may even be beneficial.”
“Beneficial, how?” I give him sneer. “Beneficial for you, maybe, if she is even making good on her promise.” I gesture at bloody mess around me. “Many dead bodies and bird shit everywhere leaves very clear message also.”
He looks around us and grimaces. “Point taken.” After studying my face and not finding whatever it is he is looking for, he sighs. “In any regard, I hoped to avoid alarming you when I begin painting the walls in these sylvans’ blood. Perhaps I will have to settle for avoiding surprising you insead.”
“Fine… it is… whatever.” I throw hands up in air, “Fine. Have fun playing with blood, Hobgoblin.”
He gives me look of disappointment, but I turn my back on him and walk away. As I pass Skreek who is still fucking pooping on corpses, I yell, “Pull fucking pants up, Bird! How can single creature contain so much fucking shit?!”

Report Date

04 Jun 2022