Interlude: Alyona Belov, Fucking Messenger Girl

General Summary

We get back to secret lair, and everyone is full of questions about why we left restaurant without getting first the dessert. And, of course, even more burning questions about what has happened while we were stuck in loop. I tell them, "Look, I know spell which will let me reach out to talk to people all over world, just like sending stone, but I cannot do it until tomorrow, and I can only do it couple of times per day at most. Think about who we need to contact and what we need to know. You can tell me in morning, over breakfast. I am going to meditate now.” And then I leave, never answering question about what happened at Daybreak. I am not ready to have that conversation yet.

*****

It is good night’s meditation; I feel much improved. And I have given much more thought to who it is we need to talk to. First on list, of course, is Truffle. But he is not being first one I contact.
“So, how long exactly were you stuck in time loop?” I say with glee. Then more serious, because fucker knows shit, and we know nothing. “Look around, Varan. Many more Radiants than in your time. Worth it to hold grudge?” I wait, not expecting response, and expectations are met. Maybe it is that he died in collapse of dome, but I am not thinking it is so. Asshole has too many tricks up sleeve to be killed so easily.
Ok, gloating is done, now Truffle. How to put this? Hmmmm…ok. “We were caught in magic bullshit, but out now. Are you ok? Where are you? Can we meet? We need to know what is happening!"
This time, response is immediate. And loud. “Blood and Pyrite!!!! What happened? I'm... fine. Outside Novonikolayevsk polishing pavers before the next mission. Travel is dicey what with the war and all.” I start to smile at sound of his voice, but then words hit me. Immediately, I send another message.
“War?! What war?” Have things really spiraled this far out of control? “Hard to explain, but I am mage now. Can only use this spell few times per day at most. Make response count.”
There is brief chuckle. “Late Bloomer?” he asks, taking it much more ok then I thought maybe he would. He will not be so casual when he sees how weak I have become – he worked so hard to make me strong, to make me fighter. But then his voice grows serious. “Unseen Civil War. Council split. Very tense. Brother vs. brother level of shyte. Tell old man they are sniffing around his ‘vacation home.’”
“The Council is going to slaughter every last one of those Unheard fuckers – their families, their friends, everyone they’ve ever so much as fucking spoken to. It’s not just about the Alliance anymore. It’s about control of the Unseen itself.”
I’m hardly listening. I look down at her body, half a dozen crossbow bolts buried in her slender torso. Beyond her I can just see into the house. The walls and floor are smeared with blood, and there are unidentifiable body parts lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. I am fighting to hold back tears of grief and rage and fear.
Goddamn him.
I've got to run. I've got to run NOW.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I desperately want to send another message to Truffle, but I have only enough magic stuff left to cast maybe one more time, and I know how much Skreek is needing to talk to Mama Bird. I try telling myself that Unseen shit has been falling apart for fifteen months without me; it can go on to fall apart for few more days. But I am scared. Things were out of control before. There is not words for what they are being now.
I did not run far enough.

*****

It is not until evening time that I find Skreek. I am not sure where it is he has been keeping himself all day.
“Ok,” I say. “What is it you want me to tell Mama Bird? It must be very short message remember, so think very hard about what you want to be saying.”
He does not think too long, but I am guessing he has already spent most of day worrying about it. “Mother, I am ok. I hope you are as well.” Hmph. Or maybe he did not think about it at all. “You surely thought I suffered the same fate as Bäaba. I am sorry for that.”
Um, this is not good message. I am just going to tighten it up little bit here for him. “Hey Mama. This is Alyona. Skreek’s ok. Don’t worry, he didn’t end up like, um, Baboo. How are you doing? What are Sylvans up to?”
There. Is better, yes?
Answer comes back right away and there are so many emotions in her voice that I feel like I am creeper, eavesdropping on private thoughts. You know, I do not think Boggie gave me amazing Death powers so I could play messenger girl. I am not cut out for all this talking to people. “You're alive! I'm fine. Sylvans control queen and council. I'm imprisoned. Sky Erie only independent left. Fighting in Forbidden - Natives united under Grecko leader.”
This is interesting meaning of “fine” that I am not knowing. Shit. Skreek is going to flip out, isn’t he?
He does not flip out. Not really. Just he is very quiet for long moment, stunned. I am sure he wants to ask her more, but he knows I am out of the juice. Then he says quietly, “Can you talk to anyone? Anywhere?”
“Da?” I do not know where this is going. Who does he want to talk to? “But I have to know them, you know, in like face-to-face way.”
He just nods, and walks slowly back toward area where others are sitting around, talking about whatever it is they talk about when I am not there to keep things interesting. I follow him and tell rest of group what is situation with Mama Bird. There is much concern, much wondering, about what it is we must do, but still Skreek says almost nothing.
I make suggestion that we could send Skreek through to portal that was hanging off side of cliff face at Iallon. If he was invisible and careful, he could scout area and tell us what is going on there. There would be risks, of course. There are always risks for everything. We would be sending only cryptoporter away to area maybe crawling with Sylvans, and Skreek is not so very level headed when it comes to Sylvans these days, if you had not noticed.
But this idea, it does not have many supporters (other than Skreek who is ready to leave NOW). Nobody else is making any suggestions, though, so I guess we just have to wait and talk to Mama Bird tomorrow. Maybe she will have more information that will help us know what it is we should do.
There is not much more to be saying, and everyone heads off to do, I don’t know, whatever it is they are filling time with. So am I, going back to my room, when Skreek grabs me by elbow. When he is not shooting things, he is usually gentlest of birds, but this is not maybe so gentle. Not angry though, at least not angry at me. Just distracted, upset. “When can you send another message?” he asks in low voice, not making eye contact.
I look down at where he is holding my arm, then back up at him “After I meditate. Give me four hours.” He drops my arm and turns to walk toward his room without another word.
I go back to my room and, before I do meditation, I take out sending stone that is connection to GG. I hope he has other one, now that he knows we are still alive.
“Hey cutie,” I say, trying to sound like way I used to, but heart is not really in it. “Still trying to figure out what’s happened since we were gone. Can you obtain scry scrolls? Willing to barter for ancient Sylvan crap.”
Since nobody is liking idea of Skreek scouting, I am wondering if I can use scroll to see what it is sylvans are up to. It is long shot. Scry is difficult spell that I know one day Boggie will teach me, but it is not within my power now, so there is being good chance scroll will not work.
“Oh wow that's rare. I mean maybe? I would need clearance and it's going to be really expensive and I don't know if they want…” Words cut off. Well, GG is not changed too much, is he? I smile, put stone back in backpack, and sink down to mat, closing eyes. It is relief to fall back into breath. I am tired of my thoughts.

*****

Skreek is there, outside my room, knocking on door just few minutes after I have opened eyes.
I let him come in and he sits at little table I have put in corner of room. I sit down next to him. He still is not looking me in eye.
“Mama Bird?” I ask him. He nods. “Ok, what is it you are wanting me to ask her?”
He has spent more time thinking about this than last one. “Mother, who can we trust among The People? What is Grecko leader's name? How can we find either? I love you, I am coming.”
I send it just as he says, and answer comes back quickly, “Only family can be trusted. I do not know who betrayed me. Grecko Leader unknown, has retaken Iallon. I can't lose another, make him stay.”
I do not tell him this right away. I can hear fear in her voice. Fear for Skreek, not herself. I cast spell again, hoping he thinks extra hand waving and elven words are just part of normal process.
"You know him. He will not listen. What is your situation? Where are you being kept? Who has imprisoned you? What are you accused of?"
Fear in her voice is stronger, and now not all of it is for Skreek. “Held in Queen's Dungeon for ‘Crimes against Crown’, Sylvans know Iallon and Yelahn were you. Skreek wanted for murder etc. Keep him safe, I'm bait.”
Shit. He will be stupid. He will be so, so stupid. I need time to think what I am going to tell him.
“Ok, I sent it,” I say. “Sometimes it takes little while for response to come back.”
He nods. “I need to send another message. To someone else.”
“You remember I can only send message to someone I have met, right?” Who is he talking about?
“Promise not to be mad at me,” he says in small voice. Ok, I think maybe I have idea who.
“Skreek, I am already mad at you because of all of secrets you are keeping!” I say in frustration. “Tell me what is going on and who we need to kill, then I will not be mad at you anymore.”
If anything, voice is even smaller now. “Promise to not be even more mad at me?”
I growl under breath. “Just fucking tell me, Skreek!”
“Will you send a message to Varan?” And there it is.
I purse lips and look at him for long time, long enough to be really awkward and uncomfortable…. for him. I think I have forgotten even what color are his eyes, it has been so long since they have met mine. “I already have,” I say. Ah there they are, sharp and blue. Surprise, Skreek. “He did not give answer.”
He jumps up and crosses room, full of agitation, then turns back. “What did you say to him?”
“I told him to look the fuck around. Fucking Radiants all over place. Asked did he really think it was worth it to hold stupid grudge. Why Skreek?” I get up and cross over to him, reaching up to grab him by the shoulder. “What did he say to you? What haven’t you told me?” I try to give it gentle shake, but there is no give. Every muscle in his body is so tense he might as well be stone. He ducks away from under my hand and takes couple of steps back, making distance.
“You don’t understand,” he says. “It’s not something you told me; it’s something you found.”
“Something I found?” I search my mind but I cannot think what it is he might be talking about.
“We were created… manufactured. We are their product. Servants. But we broke free!” His voice climbs as he speaks, and he struggles to bring it back under control. “We are our own people now. We have our own culture, our own society, our own… goddess.”
I do not say anything, just lift eyebrow at him. I mean, Boggie is best god, obviously, but I am curious who is this goddess of Bird People.
“She is the… Sky Mother. She is the Origin. It is she from which we came. She creates, she provides, she nurtures. She is our goddess. But you say she was the name on the side of this airship…”
Oh shit.
“Yes, yes, it was name on ship. But it was airship! Is Sky Mother such strange name for airship? Maybe it has nothing to do with your goddess.” No, of course I do not believe this, but I do not want him to be following these thoughts to place they may lead.
But, he does not believe it either. “It cannot be a coincidence. There is a connection.” He points outward in rough direction of Bird Island. “And he might know it.”
“We have problems, Skreek. Big problems,” I shake my head and look at him, but he is staring at me now, that way he does, and I know he will not lose sight of his target. I sigh, “What do you want me to ask him?”
“I don't know. I want to talk. Or send letters. Ask him if we can communicate. Ask him if he'll talk to me.”
I close my eyes. I really am not wanting to do this. "Hey asshole,” I send, so he knows it is from me. “What did you say to Bird? He wants to talk to you, send you letters. Forget about hurt feelings. Talk to him!"
I listen and I listen, but there is no sly Nightshade voice whispering in my head. Thank you, Varan. Thank you for being asshole and not responding.
“He says nothing Skreek. We do not even know if he is still alive.” I can see his whole body droop in disappointment. “Probably though, he is just asshole. I am sorry, Skreek. We will need to find answers about Sky Mother somewhere else.”
He gets up from table, like he is about to leave. No, no, I cannot let him leave without telling him.
“Wait. Skreek. Wait. Mama Bird, she has given me response.” He takes step back toward me, and there is hope in his eyes. Boggie help me, but I am going to crush it. “She says to tell you, trust nobody but family. She does not know who betrayed her, or name of Grecko leader. But Grecko have taken back Iallon.” I stop speaking for moment. He needs to hear this, but why is it me? Why do I have to be one to tell him this? Maybe it is not so great being magic guy anymore. "Skreek, she does not want you to come right now. She says she is safe enough for time being. I know you will probably not want to listen to her, but she is wise old Mama Bird, and she knows what she is doing. So listen to her, and listen to me. Listen to starshaya sestra, Older Sister. You must honor her wishes.”
“She is not safe,” he whispers. “She is imprisoned.” His eyes plead with me.
“Do you think you are knowing better than her?” I ask, as gentle as it is possible for Belovs to be.
He looks away. “I want to kill something,” he says under his breath.
“Well, Boggie will be happy to hear that,” I say with forced cheer. “I have many Sylvans in Freehold that I am wanting to kill. Will that be enough for you?”
“Can we kill them tonight?” Words sound like Skreek, but there is not usual enthusiasm for murder in his voice.
“Skreek, I have used up all my big magics sending these messages. I cannot kill Sylvans tonight, even if that sounds like very good time. But soon, I am promising you.” I take his hand, and he lets me, which is little bit surprising. “Hey, are you remembering woman I told you about, one from Academy? Kisha?”
“Yeah.”
“She is in Freehold. Will you help me give her death she so very much deserves? It will be…”
“Yes,” he says, voice flat, not caring what I am saying beyond “death”. I have never seen him this low, not even when he first found out Sylvans made his people. I am filled with strange mix of sadness and anger.
Why did you even come here Skreek? You never should have left island! You should have stayed and been great warrior for your people! Even if slaughtered by Sylvans, you would have been happier than you are now, knowing of all these things.
Stupid fucking bird.
He leaves room, and I punch wall in frustration. It is unfortunate that I am no longer monk, because it hurts like fuck, and I have to use small healing spell to fix it.

*****

After I calm down, I think maybe I have enough energy left to send one more message. If we can find out what is going on at Iallon, it might make decisions easier. And there is only one other way I can think of to find out.
I cast spell and think of lizard guy we met in ruins of Iallon. You remember that one? We called him Redcrest. I am not sure if this will work with lizard guy.
“I hope you made it home safely. We were trapped inside world egg, but escaped. What has happened to egg? What is happening with sylvans?”
He responds right away and I am happy to hear he is not just making weird hissing, clicking sounds in my head like he did in person. “Such joy fills me I cannot contain my colors, I am finally worthy of your attention! I have preached your gospel to the people and…”
Well, shit. Guess I’m going to need to explain to him whole 25 word thing.

*****

Here it is, day three of Alyona Belov, Messenger Girl. Do you know how much I love to have to listen to other people talking IN MY HEAD? Answer is: what do you think, asshole?
(Ok, but I do have little confession. As much as I am hating having to listen to other people in my head, there is much joy in, without warning, talking in other peoples’ heads. At least I know it is coming when it happens, but they could be doing anything, An-y-thing at all! Ha! I hope I interrupted Varan in intimate moment with Troglodyte.)
(Both times.)
Ok, ok, but back to business. First let us see if we can get useful information from Redcrest. (I am not hopeful.) “Ummmm…great? So, can you try to answer in 25 words or less? What has happened to world egg? What is happening with sylvans?”
He is just as excited this time, but at least he can count better than GG. “New Age has started, World Egg has hatched! Our people killed many Sylvans in your name, and I have driven them from our holy land.”
Well, that is nice. I mean, did he do it in name of Alyona specifically, I am wondering? Or whole group? (Do we even have name? I do not think so.) But, it is being not too informative – we already knew from Mama Bird that Grekco had taken Iallon back from Sylvans. Still, it is nice to be worshiped.
Ok, let us try one more time. “That’s… wonderful. Thanks. When egg hatched, what was left behind? Are there any buildings still standing down in hole? Did Sylvans take anything out?”
He answers, “Earth moved in celebration, fires belched and burning rain fell. Sylvans took their blasphemous temple months ago, but are not here to witness the glory.”
Huh. Well, maybe it is time to talk to GG instead. He cannot count, and he is just as much enthusiastic, but he at least is little bit less, uh, religious. “GG, what is situation in drow lands? I have heard there is…conflict? Is this well known? Do you see it in Freehold? COUNT YOUR WORDS!”
And here is his squeaky little voice in my head. “Drow area feels like war zone, agents called home. Too risky. More trade flowing through Freehold, lots of weapons, armor. Drow citizens here keeping low.”
Unseen War has finally escaped shadows. This is very, very bad. I need to talk to Truffle. I send to him “What can you tell me about major players? Have Unseen been able to keep this quiet? Most importantly, what can you tell me about Kisha?”
His gruff voice booms in my head. “Council Split, open fighting, hard times for Unheard. Nightshades still allied. Kisha controls Freehold underground, very reclusive. Extensive operation. Foreign expansion funds Unseen war effort.”
Confirmation. She's in Freehold. I smile.
Kisha is walking down hall toward me. I want to flinch, but I do not. Not anymore.
“Belov,” she says with a sneer. “What are you doing in this part of the keep. You know you’re not allowed…”
I hold up the pass from the Administrator. She scoffs.
Leaning in, she whispers to me, “You think you’re something special? You think I don’t know?”
The strike is fast, remarkably fast. But I am faster. I step to the side, just out of reach. I don’t attack though. The dodge might have caught her off guard, but I have little doubt she could still kick my ass. This fight won’t happen, not now, not here. But it will happen soon, and believe me, I will end her.
I have been waiting so fucking long to kill that bitch. And she is close. She is on doorstep practically. I have got team for backup – it is not great team, but it is team. I am more powerful than ever I was before, with tricks up my sleeve now that Kisha will never be able to guess. I can get to her. I can watch light go out of her eyes, deliver her soul into Darkness, and know that her death will dry up money for Council and their motherfucking alliance. There is no reason not to do this as soon as possible.
She is so close.
But.
Can I really leave Mama Bird to die in prison? It will destroy Skreek. We will lose him; I do not doubt this. Already he is breaking up into little tiny pieces. And Kisha will still be here, when we get back, right? I am not missing only opportunity to take her out if we go back to Bird Island to do this thing, right?
It is so stupid. One year ago, I would not even think twice. I would already be working on infiltration plan. I do not understand why I am jeopardizing chance at Kisha for this Mama Bird I have only met one time. I do not understand it, but somehow I do not think I will be able to enjoy doing death touch to Kisha as much if I know that someone else is doing death to Mama Bird, not too far away.
Is it Boggie that has done this to me as big joke? Is it side effect of being magic guy? Is it… brain worms?
I bet it is brain worms. Fuck, I hope they kill me soon.
But even if brain worms make me choose to do this thing, others, they do not want to go. This much is very obvious. We will have to be convincing them, and Skreek is not really helping with this. He does not talk to them. He does not ask for help. He is like bird who thinks it knows best path, but it bashes into window it can not see. Only he does it over and over again, because he cannot figure out there is another way around problem.
I miss days when people told me who to kill, and I just did job. Other things about life in Novo, not so much. But I miss knowing someone else had all answers.

*****

Skreek and I are last ones still sitting in room where we have meals. He has not said anything during dinner, and now he just sits and stares off into distance, like big dummy.
I walk into his line of vision, but still he does not acknowledge me, so I squat down in front of his chair and get in his face. He glances at me for moment, then turns head to side.
“Skreek, stop.”
He turns back to me, and all of sudden words pour out of him. “I can at least go scout, Alyona. I can check on the portal, connect with the Grecko. I will not do anything stupid. I could just fly overhead…”
I shake my head at him. “Do not think I am not seeing way you are looking at Grandfather, Skreek. Tell me, how do you think you will be getting ring from finger AND getting into satchel he sleeps every night with? Fact that you are even thinking about doing this means you are planning to do something stupid. Stealing from Grandfather is very stupid.
He freezes and then we are back to whole looking away business.
“Skreek, I am wanting to help you, but you have to listen to me, you stupid bird!” He looks back at me, and now he is little bit angry, little bit hurt by my words. I ignore both things and tell him what it is he needs to hear. “Mama Bird, she begged me to keep you from coming to rescue her. She says she is bait for trap to catch you. If this is true, they will want to keep her alive until you come to rescue her, right? So, this is buying for us some time, yes?
He nods, looking like words are maybe are sinking in little bit.
“But it is also making it even more dangerous, if they know we are coming. They will be ones setting ambush for us. So, if you want to go, you will need rest of us. You cannot do this alone. You need to ask for others for help. You need to have plan. You are grown up bird, right? You are protector for your people? Do not let emotions lead you you do something stupid. Stupid just gets you and Mama bird killed, both. Be smart. Be cold. Make your plan and execute it. Are you hearing me?
“I am,” he says.
I just look at him.
“I am!” he shouts, annoyed. Then he takes deep breath and repeats more calmly “I am.”
I stand back up and cross my arms. “Ok then, what is plan?”
He takes moment to think. “The plan… Ok… Ok, I have a plan.”
“Great,” I say. “I am very interested in hearing what is your plan.”
“Your scars are fine.” I lift my eyebrows at this statement. “At least they give some color and texture to your skin.” Ok, that is it. Time to make another banishment at him. You would think he would be getting tired of other place. He sees me start to getsure and hurries to finish sentence, “...but I understand why you want them gone! So, so you should stay here and take care of them.
“But we need to know if the portal still works, or if we need to charter another boat. I can fly straight there. No detours. Straight there and straight back.” He looks at me expectantly.
“It is not bad plan,” I say. “If you are not using cryptoporter, I do not see how anyone could have problem with you going. You are taking big chance though, to go by yourself, with no way to get out fast. And then, if portal works, there is still question of how will we all use it without falling in lava?”
“You can use your thing,” he points at his head. “...to check in on me. I can determine the status of the portal. Maybe we wont be able to use it at all.”
“I will not be able to be checking in on you, Skreek. It will take all of my magics to heal my scars. You will be on your own, you understand? But ok, so once we are there, however we go, how do we rescue Mama Bird? She is held in Queen’s Dungeon and we are all wanted people. They have accused you of murder and other things!”
He just shrugs, but I can see in his eyes that he is worried. He has not thought that far ahead.
“Look, “ I say. “I do not think you are needing to come up with whole plan all by yourself, ok? If you can convince them to help you, we can all be thinking about it together. Others, they are all being assholes, but also they are pretty good at pulling off pretty impressive shit sometimes, you know? I think maybe they will help, but you must ask them and not just run all over place acting like crazy person.
“You are right, Alyona,” he says, then turns to leave room, tired of my lectures probably. “I will try.”
“And stay away from Grandfather!” I yell at him. “You are always thinking he is just old man who likes tinkering with things, but he is much worse than any of you know. He will kill you, Skreek. He will not even think twice.”
He gives little chuckle and waves over shoulder as he leaves room. He does not believe me.
I throw hands up in air, and sit back down to finish book I am reading. Everybody underestimates Grandfather. They make this mistake and then, surprise, they are dead. I do not know what more I can do.

*****

Finally, finally it is day I do not have to send any more messages, or babysit bird, or solve everyone’s problems, and I can get down to business of scars.
I find Grandfather where he is working away in space that will be his lab, clearing out bits of broken furniture and skeletons of ancient Sylvans and things like that. Under his breath he is singing old drow song. I have only really heard him sing maybe once or twice in whole time I have known him, and never have I heard this song.
His voice is rich and low, and lyrics are sad, in way that most drow lyrics are. We are not happy people, you may have noticed. He sings song about woman who her lover has died and gone down to Czerno, and how she is pleading with great god Czernobog not to part them, for them to be together. And Czernobog comes to her and sees her tears and it is not cruel god, not to those who are believing, who love and fear it, as is right. And so shadows consume her, and her suffering is very terrible, but it does not last, and they are not parted. They are together now in Czerno, darkness holding them close, as close as they hold each other, forever.
“Grandfather,” I say in Elven, all astonished. “What is this song you’re singing?”
He turns to me and one corner of his mouth lifts in what passes for smile on him. “It is a song your Grandmother sang sometimes. I never heard anyone else sing it, only her. She told me her mother taught it to her. I had for–” Startled look appears on his face. “I had forgotten all about it. I can’t believe I had forgotten it. I- I didn’t even realize I was singing.” He looks at me and in his face I see confusion, and wonder and fear. “It is Czernobog?” he whispers.
“Yeah, that’s him all right” I say with resignation, and inside I can feel coldness shift and slide, like beast settling in its den.

*****

It takes little while for us to speak again, and when we do I ask him to repeat to me the lyrics. He tries to, but already they are fading from his memory – fading, fading until all that is left is melody, and then even that is gone, and he looks at me like he is just seeing me for first time today.
“Granddaughter, have you come to make yourself useful?” he says, turning back to his work.
“I, uh…” Song is still echoing in my head. This was strange way to say hello, Boggie. Do you miss me in your deep darkness? You were one who told me I could not visit anymore. “I…”
“What is it Granddaughter? I am busy.”
“The scar,” I spit out. “The one on my back.” It is probably not so much necessary to identify which scar I am talking about. “You said you could help me to remove it.” He puts down shard of broken glass he was holding and turns back to me.
“Yes, yes. Of course. I was just waiting for you to be ready. It will be an unpleasant process, I’m afraid. Quite painful”
“I do not think it will be any more painful than was the process of getting it,” I say with wry smile. “But I must get rid of it. It is a weakness I do not want exposed.”
“Of course. Of course. When do you want to start? Tomorrow morning?”
“Now,” I say, reaching down to take off my shirt.

*****

I am laying flat on my stomach, naked from waist up, with not even thin sheet to touch my back. Which is on fire. Again.
I have tried to scoot on table to edge where I can hold book down below my face, but it is awkward and I am getting pinch in my neck from trying. Grandfather left room little while ago to go do something, I do not know what.
So. Bored.
Why is it again that we cannot sleep? I mean, meditation is nice and everything, and I am glad that I do not have to spend like half of day laying around with drool slowly leaking from mouth onto pillow. (Sometimes, when I am on watch at night, I make contests with myself. Who will snore first? Who will drool more than everyone else? It passes time.) But it would be nice to go to sleep now and not have to just lay here with back on fire and be bored. And dreams! Dreams sound very interesting and I would like to know what it is like to have your brain tell you stories that you are not already knowing. Except they sound really weird, and I am kind of afraid of what it is I would…
Grandfather strides into room, followed by Baermek. Thank you sweet merciful Boggie, even if they both annoy shit out of me, at least it is being distraction.
“Granddaughter, look at what we have discovered! We were examining skulls we buried up in shooting range, and what do you think we have found in skull of Golariel?”
He does not even give me time to answer, which is good, since how would I know what was inside that asshole’s skull?
He holds up his hand, and on it is ball made of crystal – solid, gray, translucent.
I leap off table, ignoring screaming in my back, to snatch it out of his hand.
“Fuck!" I whisper, shocked. "This is... I have seen..."
It lies in my outstretched palm. Dripping with blood and gore and some awful black oily goop, there is a ball, of sorts. It is a delicate, open structure made of crystal, bluish-white in color, and it shines brightly, punishing my light-deprived eyes. Reflexively, I whip my head away from it and look out into the blessed darkness.
It is… it is… the thing. The thing they carved into my back. But in three dimensions. At least three dimensions. The surfaces of it seem to roll and slide, turning itself inside out in an endless repeating cycle. It is hypnotic and nauseating, and just deeply, terribly wrong. When I close my eyes, I can feel no movement; it is solid and still in my hand. I open them again, and again I see the terrible rolling wave of shapes, facets like a five-sided flower, like a nightshade, both creating and consuming itself, over and over and over…

Report Date

03 Sep 2023