Winedark: Envoy's Five

General Summary

Wherein a memory from Pitch's previous life rises, unbidden, to the surface

The Job

The experiences and situations that can cause memories to announce themselves, without preparation or warning, into our mind are as varied and complicated as the psyche itself. For Captain Pitch, the most recent expression of this phenomenon featured a previous incarnation of her existence--that of Envoy, diplomat of the Alerki Ascendency, and a most dangerous undertaking.
While most of Envoy's duties revolved around the assertion of technological dominance to encourage factions, governments and organizations to acquiesce to Ascendency supremacy, this particular mission is different. Trothal, 6th Decree "handler" of covert deeds, has instructed Envoy to retrieve a "required" object from the city of Gatt in Gattland. There is one problem--the item itself is somewhere in the sprawling compound of a Gattish crime lord--Pharkus Galaqway--who is likely reluctant to part with it.
Security around the estate normally renders it nigh impenetrable, but one avenue for infiltration has presented itself--the wedding of the Galaqway youngest son, Almak, to Hofnami Sourcut, daughter of Morb Sourcut, prominent member of the Gatt Council. This likely presents the best opportunity to get the required object, so Envoy is to gain entry to the compound during the event, find and secure the object, then get the object to a safehouse to ensure its transportation to Ascendency control.
Simple.
If Envoy is detained, there will be no assistance forthcoming from the Ascendency. After all, they cannot be expected to help any rogue individuals acting of their own accord. Similarly, Trothal made it clear that this item was required, which means it needs to be secured by any means necessary, with personal (and personnel) losses being incidental to that goal.

The Crew

Of course, the Ascendency does not expect Envoy to do this themselves. To that end, Envoy was supplied with discretionary funds to hire a crew to assist in the heist, with instruction that they should hire the crew in Gatt to help obfuscate any connection to the Ascendency.
Here are Envoy's Five:

• Envoy, the mastermind
• Bronk, bugbear barbarian good at hitting and sneaking
• Zalah, Yuan-ti sorcerer, charming, intent on outdoing her parents
• Pizzle Footswollen, gnome artificer, rider of Babe
• Fapplestamp, wizard from unknown origins, loves books

With this crackerjack squad assembled, it was time to plan out how to gain entry to the wedding. Luckily, one member already had an in--Bronk was hired to work as extra security for the event. Now that just leaves the other four to find a way to get in to the estate. Several ideas were floated, with the most promising revolving around some excellent forged invitations and a little sweet talking/Charm Person when needed. As good a plan as any, I suppose.

The Score

The next morning found the Five ready to infiltrate the event. Bronk was already in position, staffing a guard post in the garden of the estate. The other Four, thanks to an remarkably accurate wedding invitation forgery--"Everything seems to be in order. It uses Papyrus, Comic Sans, and Wingdings, as is tradition"--some solid persuasive work, and well-placed bribes, find themselves seated in a lovely decorated garden without too much trouble. After some debate of whether or not to sneak away during the ceremony--perhaps pleading collective gastrointestinal distress--it was decided that wasn't feasible. So the Five attended a nice wedding. Aww.
It seemed like a prime time after the ceremony to gather some intel on the estate: mostly, how to get to the third floor, where some library scout work by Fapplestamp revealed some redacted--and thus suspicious--architecture planning. So, Zalah talked with both the very nervous Morb, who appeared terrified by everyone around him, and the much more personable Pharkus. The basic gist from both these conversations was that these people are fucking dangerous. Luckily. Pharkus seemed quite taken with Zalah.
With that, it was time to adjourn to the 2nd floor Ballroom for dancing and rejoicing. Almost immediately, both Envoy and Zalah met the other Galaqway son, Kerliz--who is sometimes called The Adzehand--and a pleasant conversation commenced. It appeared that Kerliz has taken an interest in our Five--especially the two in front of him--which could either be good or bad depending on multiple factors. Kerliz does have a reputation for swift ruthlessness, however, so it is probably best if the Five can get what they came for and get out without incident.
Some quick thinking about the universal appeal of sports to meatheads worked well in freeing up the staircase to the 3rd floor from pesky guards, so the Five made their way upstairs. The guards up here, however, were less enthusiastic about letting the crew go where they needed to go, so a fight broke out. These guards--thugs, really--probably should have called in sick as they got utterly destroyed. The Five know how to fight.
The redacted room turned out to be some sort of magic circle. Pizzle, steeped in the ways of the arcane, and Bronk, an unlikely student of magic, knew that this was for transporting individuals to some other place. Seems a likely place for a vault, and thus, the item. So the Five set foot onto the circle and into the unknown.
They were transported to a large cavern with an individual incased in stone in the middle of it. Time was short, so that mystery will have to wait for another day. Sorry, pal.
The room after the cavern revealed itself to be a vault. Nice! One problem--there was already a crew breaking into said vault. The Madboot Duergar don't intend to share the spoils of this with anyone, so another fight happened. This one proved to be a little more difficult than some feckless thugs. But this item is "required," not "requested" so Envoy found a way to motivate her crew to success. Bloody. gore-streaked success.
After locating the sought item in the vault, some quick thinking by Envoy and Pizzle enabled a magical decoy box to be deployed in its place. Nice! Should fool some folks for a bit. The amassed corpses, however, may be a problem. So, it was time to leave.
On the way to the safehouse, the Five were confronted by Kerliz, who, naturally, wanted to know what the fuck the Five were up to on the estate. More deft charisma work by Envoy seemed to forge an agreement of understanding between the two parties, with Kerliz anticipating perhaps a useful relationship with the Ascendency (although Envoy wasn't supposed to let that slip. Oops!)
Regardless, the job completed without inordinate complications. Envoy resolved her mission and returned to Ascendency lands. Bronk continued his rite of passage for his people. Fapplestamp pondered the mysteries of who he is/was and what that might mean. Pizzle and Babe continued to operate with consumate professionalism. And Zalah decided to hang around the Galaqway crew a bit, just to see what might happen. Everyone got what they wanted. Except for Pharkus--he's probably pretty upset.

And That's Where We Left It

We'll see what this memory could portend for the Blasters in our next session.

Various & Sundry Details

• For reasons perhaps better left undocumented by historical record, an unofficial name for this heist crew was Squat Squad.
• Zalah has a lifetime subscription to Magic GONE WYLD. The implications are troubling.
• Fapplestamp used M-43. It was very effective.
• Bronk masqueraded as a legendary Phandrel hero for a second.

Rewards Granted

• The "required" item
• Probably some books stolen by Fapplestamp
• Bronk likely took some stuff too
• Pizzle and Babe stole lives
• Zalah only stole hearts

Character(s) interacted with

• Trothal, 6th Decree, "handler" 
• Morb Sourcut, Gatt Council member and yery nervous father of the bride
• Pharkus Galaqway, father of the groom and lord of crime
• Kerliz Galaqway, eldest son of Pharkus, sometimes called The Adzehand

Report Date

20 Mar 2022

Primary Location

Gatt