GB Chapter 34: Hold the Line

General Summary

Sesh

• The bois fly forward, eventually getting attacked by the undead army. The Bonemobile takes 14 points of damage from an explosive arrow.

Combat: Shit's Happening

Initiative

• Master Obu, The Girl & Rexy: 10
• Wizard Moanius, Stonius & The Boy: 2
• Balcazar: 11
• MB: 19
• Fork: 7
• Sister Glaecia: 10 
• Sir Crannus: 11
• St. Knights Army: 15
• Undead Army: 21

Round 1

• Undead Army: Advance & make a couple attacks that miss
• MB: Dashes forward
• St. Knights Army: advances and takes out some zombies
• Balcazar: Fireballs one of the wights, frost drake zombie, and 4 of his troops
• Team Obu: Moves forward and is 30 ft in the air
• Sister Glaicea: Casts Bless on Wizard Moanius & sim
• Fork: Shoots some guys for 14 damage
• Team Moanius: flies forward and uses Fireball (3rd level) to roast 6 sets of ghous; 4 die instantly and the other two are hurt. The Boy excitedly hops on Moanius' shoulder

Round 2

• Undead Army: attacks
• MB: Dildorang
• St. Knights Army: advances and attacks
• Balcazar: Fireball fourth level
• Team Obu: Rexy goes off
• Sister Glaecia: nat ones with Cold Blast
• Fork: Tries to 360 Noscope punch a wight, but misses and backs up
• Team Moanius: Stonius Eldritch Blasts for 3 damage. Then Santa does some shit

Round 3

• Undead Army: attacks
• MB: Changes to centaur form and moves around
• St. Knights Army: attacks
• Balcazar: some Wind Slice & shit
• Team Obu: goes off again with Turn Undead. Obu perceives to see whether the undead army is flanking their forces from behind; doesn't see any
• Sister Glaecia & Sir Crannus: Glaecia nat1s again. 
• Fork: distracts the zombie and spots Lamarva hiding in a snowbank
• Team Moanius: Fucks some shit up

Round 4

• MB: Branding Smites a Frost Drake Zombie with one hand on the Blade of Phallicus and the other cupping their balls and taint. Teabags the drake zombie with their non-binary testicles
• Balcazar: Fireballs, hits MB, and does a taint flick
• Team Obu: Rexy fuckery and looks for flanking forces
• Sister Glaecia & Sir Crannus: Glaecia hits some ghouls with a Cold Blast, and Sir Crannus smites the fuck out of a wight & drake. 
• Fork: Goes to town on the Zombie Giant and kills it.
• Team Moanius: Goes to town again
• Armies: The st. Knights clear out the weakened undead forces. The undead army backs up 30 ft, in a surprising move. 

The Reveal

• Lamarva walks forward and transforms into the force of personality that is Darkjaw, smoking a preroll of Swamp Diesel as he makes his presence known. MB flashes him in busty lizard form and wants to fuck him, while Balcazar smokes Candy Cane Kush in contest. Moanius makes fun of Stonius for not getting enough kills.
• With the party's hard work, they've advanced to level 14.

Rewards Granted

• Gang levels up to 14 (no change to The Boy, The Girl, Stonius or Rexy)

Report Date

22 Mar 2023

Primary Location

Cyregnor

Related Plots

• The Daidrin Expedition