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GB Chapter 29: The Knights before Christmas

General Summary

Combat: Gaiobros vs Christmas Treant

Initiative

  • Balcazar: 4
  • MB: 11
  • Draconius: 17
  • Christmas Treant: 2, 22/138

Round 1

  • Draconius: tries to grab an ornament, but fails. Summons Flamonius
  • MB: tries to grab an ornament, fails
  • Balcazar: tries to Matter Toss the tree, fails. Madrakor’s gauntlet does 6 necrotic
  • Treant: slams at MB, misses.

Round 2

  • Draconius: attacks for some damage, I recorded it on the monster
  • MB: deals 25 damage with sword & Searing Smite (1st level)
  • Balcazar: Breaks out of the lights, then fires Madrakor’s Gauntlet for 7 necrotic damage. Casts Wind Slice (3rd level) for 26 slashing
  • Treant: takes 6 fire damage from Searing Smite, then tosses an Ornament at MB for 29 piercing

Round 3

  • Draconius: does some slicing for 21 slashing. Tries to swing again, but misses
  • MB: casts Searing Smite (1st level) and slashes for 17 slashing/12 Fire (29 total). Then climbs up the tree and slashes twice Fruit Ninja style, killing it 

Breaching the Workshop

  • Prior to this session, everyone levels up to level 13 (or the appropriate level if they are multiclassing)
  • Meant to write this down prior to the combat: The night before they arrive, Draconius has a terrible endless-falling dream where dark wraiths demand the return of Stonius' soul and rip him away while Draconius falls. During their arrival, the bois fly through a hellish blizzard and find an out-of-place evergreen forest. Seeing no easy clearing to land their carriage in, the warlock bois hold hands as use the power of friendship to cast a powwerful Eldritch Blast, destroying a tree's foundation and landing upon it's fallen mass
  • After walking through the woods, all the shenanigans vaguely described in the combat above occur. As they step onto the Christmas Courtyard (MB wanted a Christmas ornament), the treant came to life and attacked them.
  • The boys get some pine cone drugs from the fallen tree
  • Balcazar walks up to the gate to Santa’s Workshop, casts Wind Construct (2nd or 3rd level) on one of the gate cranks. Draconius climbs up and grabs the other crank, MB yanks it
  • While the boys go in, the other tree stirs. MB wants another ornament and rushes over, but fails to get it off the tree. As they run back to the gate, the Treant tosses an ornament for 25 piercing damage on MB.
  • They get inside and wander around the Decked Halls, but not before getting high as SHIT off some Pine Bud. Balcazar acts like an Earthbender and casts Wall of Stone (4th level?) with his Garonis magic, separating them from the St. Knights, Frost Gnomes & slaves that were coming aound the corner.
  • The bois eventually find their way to the Holly Jolly Factory, where they lick the shit out of the pepermint padlock to get the door open (MB & Draconius' tongues touch). After they get in, they see hundreds of Frost Gnomes & enslaved humanoids working on the factory floor. Other Frost Gnomes appear to be supervising them, with one instance of a gnome creating an Ice Construct whip to lash one of his slaves. The platform they enter on is raised above the factory floor, seemingly made up of Frost Gnome supervisors and special toy machines. 
  • MB shapeshifts into a Frost Gnome and repeatly says "We're free, we're free!!" (paraphrased) when he walks in, slowly inspiring the Frost Gnomes on their platform to feelings of hope & happiness. While MB does that, Draconius talks to an older Frost Gnome supervisor, seemingly the senior amongst the others. He gains his "trust" by inviting him to join the cult of Thalonius, but the Frost Gnome mainly briefs Draconius on the hostile workplace that is Santa's Workshop. During this conversation, MB transforms from a younger Frost Gnome into an older one right in front of the others, confusing the hell out of them and the elder.
  • According to the elder, there have been multiple Wizard Santas in the history of Christmas. While the first one was jolly and truly spread holiday cheer to all the good little kids in the world, the second one was cruel and started the massive slave trade operation that Christmas has become. Wizard Santa II mysteriously died one day (similar to how Wizard Santa I died), passing on the mantle to his son, Wizard Santa III. This Wizard Santa seemed incapable of deciding whether he wants to be like his father or like Wizard Santa I, being kind and jolly on some days while being cruel and psychopathic whenever he is holding a mysterious crystal ball. The elder expresses that while some of the Frost Gnomes have grown to enjoy working here (or, at the very least, tolerate it), others cannot handle the inconsistently cruel workplace treatment. Some of them, including the elder, long for a life of freedom, where they can work at the factory to support themselves while exploring the greater world.
  • The Gaiobros take notice to the crystal ball situation and determine that destroying it may be the best move for them. The elder says that if they do that or need a slave revolt as a distraction, he can rile up the others. He thanks them for what they are willing to do, and returns to his work as the Gaiobros head to the Partridge Tower to find Wizard Santa. MB attempts to proposition the old man; he politely informs him that he is in a relationship, but that he'll talk to his wife if the Gaiobros succeed on their mission.
  • The gang leaves the Holly Jolly Factory, travels down the Decked Halls as instructed by the elder Frost Gnome, then finds themselves at the entrance to the Partridge Tower. Two St. Knights are guarding it, but that's no problem for MB. It's difficult to accurately quote the sexual poetry that passed MB's busty lizard lips in that moment, but it certainly garnered the interest of the thirsty knights. They quickly strip off their armor and eifel tower the busty lizardwoman while Balcazar & Draconius sneak into the Partridge Tower. MB crit fails on their final Constitution check, causing them to pull out of both sides of the eifel tower as the St. Knights spread their holiday cheer all over the lizard. Despite the botched finish, the St. Knights thank MB by allowing them to pass into the tower, pretending that they didn't see anything and emploring them to not cause trouble. They give a quick "Hail Santa" salute as MB makes their cummy way over to the stairs.
  • After climbing to the top of the tower, the Gaiobros see a similar door to the one they found in the Warden's Tower on the Isle of Smiles, shaped like a pear tree and topped with a partridge. Draconius & Balcazar use a combination of the Soul Scythe & Chill Touch (cantrip or 1st level?) to channel enough dark energy to trace the door pattern/combination, eventually succeeding at opening the door. Prior to this, Balcazar cast Vibrosense (1st level) to sense that the only thing standing between Wizard Santa's chamber and them was this door.
  • They make their way in and find Wizard Santa on his holiday throne, who expresses something along the lines of "It's about time you showed up!" and later followed up with a "Ho Ho Ho!". 

Character(s) interacted with

Report Date
28 Dec 2022
Primary Location
Secondary Location

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