Telegrams

Why telegrams?

Why indeed. It seems needless in our modern world where everyone is more connected than ever. Everyone in this day and age has a smartphone on them at all times, and calling someone or sending them a message is easier and faster than ever. From phone calls, to pictures and files, there is no limit to what you can send or share with others.

So, why would moles be compelled to still use an archaic version of communication such as telegrams? Surely in the old days this was the fastest way to deliver a message, but today it seems slow and obsolete.

Not what is seems

Sure, telegrams today are one of the slower ways to deliver a message, but everything is not as it seems.

First of all, telegrams today are still incredibly fast. It often seems that as soon as you say something to offend the other person, a telegram will already be at your door, telling you something you most likely don’t want to hear.

Second, it’s not about the speed with these telegrams, the whole point of this is the message they convey and how they do it.

How do they do it?

You have to understand that telegrams in our world are mainly used to deliver bad news and insults to the person you’re talking to. They aren’t a way to quickly deliver the message to someone who’s not with you right now, but are more often used exactly during irl face to face arguments with people. They are used as the ultimate “talk to the hand” move.

You see the thing is, getting the whole telegram just for the other person to let you know what they really think of you seems like a dramatic and over the top move, ut getting the message in telegram format also tells you that the other person is way too upset with you right now to talk to you directly. The telegram tells you that you’re not worth the other person’s time and energy, but still, you ought to know that your mere existence is a detriment to their quality of life.

What kind of messages can you send?

It’s been well established at this point that the messages sent through telegrams are for the most part negative. You can send out a custom message tailored specifically to the situation and person at hand, but the telegram company has a few pre-made telegrams with different messages.

Some of the classics are “I hate myself because of you!”, “I drink because of you!” and “You’re dead to me!”

There are many more options, from angry one liners, to more elaborate messages, describing violent acts the other person deserves to have done to them, that we prefer not to say here, to keep this a wholesome SFW space. These telegrams are more often than not illustrated, some even used pop-ups or even play melodies. In bat settlement of Wasteland people dare to be more morbid, and if they get really pissed off at you, they might send you a dead blackbird in a box. Well, it won't be a real one, because actually killing one would have dire consequences, but it will be a fairly realistic looking one.