Honey

Pee.

Huh, what’s this? Pee? Like as in, the waste liquid you pee out? In the toilet? Yes that’s right, this is about pee. But why would anyone wanna deal with pee and what does it have to do with honey? Well, first of all, welcome to our world, traveler of this multiverse! You may come from a world very similar or much different from ours, but chances are you’ve heard of honey before. Maybe you tried it, maybe it’s even your favorite addition to your foods and drinks. But have you ever truly asked yourself where it comes from? Well, I can answer this question for you. In our world, honey is fairy pee. Yes you heard that right, it is made from pee of the mole subspecies known as fairies. But how? Why? Don’t worry traveller, we understad that our world and lives may seem strange to you in certain senses, but keep an open mind on this marvelous journey as I walk you through the process of honey production in our world.

Honey production

Fairies

It all starts with fairies. They have been created specially to be Glitter God’s servants, priests, healers, tenders of the holy gardens around Heavenly Towers and whatnot, but that’s besides the point. The point is, they were designed to be one part butterfly, alongside the usual naked mole rat, olm and human parts. As a butterfly based species they primarily eat flowers, fruits and tend to drink a lot of fruit juices and cocktails. The mixture of all this, paired with digestive fauna and flora of their bodies triggers a chemical reaction that causes their pee to come out pleasantly sweet. Of course, this is where the story only begins.

Pee collecting

In Fairy Gardens many fairies own or live near these honey production facilities, so it’s not hard for them to deliver their pee regularly. Situation is a bit different in towns, here the honey processing facilities are not as common and easily accessible, and that’s where pee collectors come in. In the front office of every building there is a designated area for fairies to leave their pee in special containers they pee in during the day. They leave these in the front office every evening, and in the morning, pee collectors drive through towns to collect it. They drive around all the buildings with fairy residents that are saved in their registry, collect the pee from front offices and drive it back to the honey production facilities.

Processing

This pee is still very liquid, much like regular pee. A fairy could probably pee in your tea and nothing too bad would happen, but still it’s better for it to go through the whole processing.
First stop is filtering and testing the pee. Usually all the pee is marked with a certain fairies name, and all of them are regular pee donors, so pee handlers in the processing facility have a pretty good idea of what they’re getting, but still, precautions are always welcome and necessary.

After the basic filtering process, all the pee goes through another, intense filtering and dehydrating process. Through this, any unwanted components are removed, along with any excess water. This results in honey that is thicker and more viscous than pee, and also has a stronger flavor. These then get packaged into glass jars and sold in stores for you to buy and put in your tea or bread and butter.

Honey varieties

These are the basics of honey production, but things can get more complex, especially in sorting of the pee to certain facilities.

Pure Honey

In Fairy Gardens, these facilities can afford to have a higher standard. Each one only accepts pee from certain fairies with certain diets. For example, one only accepts pee from flower eating fairies, other one only from fairies who eat more fruits, or only certain kinds of fruits. This results in more pure honey with a more distinct flavor. This honey is considered to be of higher quality and appropriately priced.

Mixed Honey

In Ä+*4~, there are less fairies and pee donors in particular. Here, all of the pee usually goes to the same facility and all of it is mixed together. This results in a less pure “mixed honey”, that is usually considered to be of lower quality and cheaper.

T@Ö#Ä3 Honey

T@Ö#Ä3 of course, is a whole other story. There is only a small amount of fairies here and they tend to engage in sketchy stuff such as drug use and poor dietary habits. They sell their pee to shady people working in underground labs, often together with making drugs. This honey is of questionable quality and you risk anything from a tummy ache to catching an STD eating it. Importing honey from Ä+*4~ and Fairy Gardens can be quite costly though, so a lot of people actually will settle for the mysterious T@Ö#Ä3 honey.

Pee donors

With that being said, it goes without saying that pee donors of Ä+*4~ and Fairy Gardens are held to quite a high standard to make the cut. Not everyone can become a pee donor and the ones who do are expected to be on especially strict diets and take special care for their health. They undergo medical exams every month to ensure they are in good health and ok to let others consume their pee. They have to watch their diet and absolutely not drink, smoke, do any drugs or even eat anyhting outside of their designated diet. Don’t be around anyone who is into drugs either, just in case. This is really only a problem in T@Ö#Ä3 though. They are also to immediately report any sign of illness and all the medication they took for it, as this could very easily affect the quality of honey. However, they are very welcome to indulge in sweet and sugary foods, this will make the honey only taste better.

All of the fairies who apply and qualify to become pee donors are entered into a database that holds all of their info. Type of diet, monthly medical reports, facility they donate to, and all other notable information about their health and diets, along with the amount of pee donated.

It’s quite a peculiar and restricted lifestyle these fairies live and they do get paid quite a handsome amount for their efforts, so it’s certainly something every fairy wants to do. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna get paid for nothing more than peeing into a plastic jug? For this reason a great majority of fairies are pee donors, save for exceptions and the ones that may take time off from it for a time, for medical or any other reasons.

Health benefits of honey

But, you may ask now, honey is good and all, but what is the appeal of eating another person’s pee, why would anyone even think of that? Well you see, here is another thing about fairies: they are particularly known for their healing abilities. They work in herbal gardens with all the herbs, but many as well have faith healing powers. It also helps that pee donors in particular are especially expected to live healthy lifestyles. For this reason honey is not only considered to be delicious, but also to have healing properties. Because of this, it’s often added to herbal teas and medicine, but eating it in general is said to improve one’s health and boost their immune system.

Honey is also used in many foods, especially in cookies and other sweets. It is often used as a sweetener that is considered to be the healthier alternative to sugar.

Don't forget about Licitar Hearts

If you’re visiting “Valley of the Honey Hearts” in Fairy Gardens also don’t forget to buy a licitar heart for your loved ones. They are made of honey bread, but usually decorated with non edible substances and are used more as a decoration. It is believed that owning one will bring good health to the residents of your home.

Item type

Consumable, Food / Drink

Related ethnicities

• Fairies

Rarity

a common staple in Ä+*4~, uncommon in TÖ#Ä3

Weight

Sold in containers that usually hold 250g, 500g or 1000g

Base Price

Pure honey: ★★★★★
Mixed Honey: ★★★☆☆
T@Ö#Ä3 honey: ★☆☆☆☆

Where does honey come from? by tim-in-a-box