My name is Eif!

My name is Eif. This is the tale of my travels to find the best food and drink. I will take what I learn and give it to young Bron of the Four and the One. I daresay the best inn in all of Autumn March.   This is my picture that a faerie monk made of me. I did not know if I should have smacked him or not.  
by Midjourney
Now to begin what I have learned.   In the forest of the Brocaede where the faeries dwell I had a scrumptious delicious meal and drink. First they start with a small glass of strong liquor, this tasted like sweet raspberries. Then we had this little green salad with bits of fruit and nuts. It is a faerie thing. I ate it to be polite, just like Bron's eldest sister Bekka would say to do. Then we had a lovely white wine that bubbled and tickled my nose. The main course was some game foul, rolled in cinnamon and paprika. It was baked in a white wine and lemon sauce with apricots and raisins. It came with a side of saffron rice with capers. Quite lovely. Then another white wine, this one sweet which was pared with a selection of fine cheese. Dessert was a strong brandy with tarts of various fruits and cream fillings.    In the realm of the elven Prince, they have fine food and drink, but of a simple nature. Many elves spoke of how the Prince will always eat the same thing his soldiers eat. This seemed to be reflected in the fare one can find in the inns and taverns. Though there are some fancy places for food where  ladies can have their teas and little cakes. Men are frowned upon if they go in there. Being on the shores of the great lake, the elves eat a great many fish dishes. By and large the elves have  the best fish and chips I have ever had, and it all went down with a smooth creamy ale.    Now Julianopolis the capital of the Julian Protectorate, this place has everything you can ever imagine to eat. Everything flavored with spices and herbs from all parts of the Sea of Spilled Wine and beyond,  even as far as the Uttermost East. Here I had something I can only describe as exotic. First there was thinly shaved lamb, seasoned as it roast on a spit. It was placed on a flat bread and folded in half with a spicy vegetable cream sauce with lettuce and tomato. I washed this down with a strong liquor that tasted something like salted taffy and liquorice. I ate a great cat from Aegyptos. Cannot say I enjoyed it. It was a bit stringy and tasted like a mixture of foul and beef. Though the better parts tasted like boar. What they served to drink was fermented cowcumber juice mixed with something best tossed out of a piss pot. The last thing I ate there is a creature I never saw before. It looked like a giant hopping rat, rabbit or both mixed together. This thing was as tall as a man. It's meat was like brisket in consistency. The taste I cannot describe. It was okay, but not something you would want to smell on a hot summer day. I was glad for the they served with it, a white beer with a fruit syrup.      Now I am home, back in the snug of the Four and the One, best ways are to be at home. Now to give this to young Bron and let him work on his ales and beers. He wants to win a prize at the fair. He is a good lad.


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Grandmaster Noons
Chris Noonan
2 Aug, 2022 17:16

Elves eating fish and chips is a great image. Knife and fork or fingers?