Totally Normal House
Definitely Not Haunted
Totally Normal House, or Albert as he prefers to be called by friends, is a mimic building belonging to the haunted houses classification by the Paranormal Institution. He has voiced his discontent with being associated with haunting, saying that he just "wants to chill" and be "totally normal" and "definitely not scared anyone once ever, promise, dude".
The problem is that the idea of "normal" is a totally different concept when it comes to making places habitable. So while Albert definitely goes with the flow and gradually alters his facade to completely blend in with all of the other houses in the street he occupies, he is not exactly a place that could be lived in. At a first glance, he's got all the right parts in all the right places: three floors, nice little thatch roof, a couple of wooden windows and a solid mahogany door marking the main entrance - they are not actually working as they should. The windows are not glass, like in all the really normal houses, but solid and painted over to look like glass; there is no human way to open the door, no doorbells no handles no anything.
If you do actually manage to get inside (Albert can be easily bribed by interior design magazines), things get even more bizarre. There are no floors just a giant open space inside and every little corner of it seems like a different photo from a furniture catalogue. The carpet might look blue, but it behaves and feels like the lawn outside. It is always tidy and clean thought, Albert hates mess.
Dorothy has been occasionally using Albert as a hideout.
Hazards & Traps
Everything can be a trap if you try hard enough. Albert doesn't like intruders.
"Fake it till you make it, yo!"
Alternative Names
Albert
Type
House
Kudos to you for making such a hilarious article about a "house". I did find the first sentence a tad difficult to read/understand ("Totally Normal House, or Albert as he prefers to be called by friends, is a mimic building belonging to the haunted houses classification by the Paranormal Institution.") How does Albert prefer to be called? Does he prefer to be called "a mimic building belonging to the haunted houses classification by the Paranormal Institution"? The next sentence says that he does not like to be associated with haunting. The beginning is all just a bit confusing, but the article was really nice. There were many bits and pieces that I loved, but the fact that the rugs on the inside just feel like the lawn outside was probably my favourite.
Ah yes, long sentences will be the end of me. The problem is that in Czech, you can have a sentence 3km long and everything will make perfect sense, because the majority of words will just change their form slightly, to indicate what they mean. There's nothing like that in English and IT'S SUCH A PAIN IN THE butter. "Totally Normal House" is the official name. But TNH likes to be called "Albert". Because it's a cute name and he's a cute house. There. Once I am done with the rough drafts for all the prompts, I will definitely go rewrite most of them, so if there is anything else that is confusing and sounds like garbage, do let me know, because it's SUPER helpful. Thank you for your kind words! :))
I definitely get you. In Spanish, we also get really long sentences, so I also tend to over-extend sometimes xP A possible rewording of the sentence could be: A totally Normal House, or as he prefers to be called by friends, Albert. [This house/Albert: write whichever fits your style/fancy] is a mimic building belonging to the haunted houses classification by the Paranormal Institution.