Weatherton Artsbalm - The Oldest Student on Campus

Weatherton Jonah Artsbalm (a.k.a. Father Time, Grim Kronos, The Scholar Gypsy)

Born in Albany, Ohio in 1885, Weatherton Artsbalm, a robust septuagenarian, displays all the sure signs of good breeding, even if his wardrobe tends toward the rumpled and hopelessly out of date. Artsbalm holds three degrees from institutes of higher learning: an agriculture degree from Wilmington College, a divinity degree from the University of Innsbruck in Austria, and a degree in philosophy from Cambridge University. Artsbalm does not hold, and indeed hasn’t held for over twenty-five years, any kind of steady, respectable job, making him something of an enigma to many stolid Jerusalemites.
Artsbalm has always gotten by using his own industry and ingenuity, forestalling any accusation of vagrancy or transience. In the warmer months he works as a farmhand, laborer, or handyman, and in the winter he cuts ice from the Missituk River. Artsbalm maintains a box at the New Jerusalem post office, though his actual residence changes with each fluctuation in boarding house rents. He is a registered, opinionated, non-partisan voter, and he pays his taxes scrupulously, regardless of his feelings toward the administration of the day.
A world traveler, free spirit, and independent thinker, Artsbalm lives for intellectual discourse, whether in the classroom, on the steps of the library, or over the chessboard and a cup of coffee at the Desolate Highway Café. He can often be found lurking in the Orne Library, but has been known to turn up just about anywhere on campus, often without warning. At a moment’s notice, Artsbalm will launch into a heated debate (in his trademark stentorian tones) with professors, undergraduates, ordinary citizens, or anyone who will engage him. In debate, Artsbalm conveys himself with a peculiar blend of dignity and comedy, holding forth on bewilderingly obscure topics as though the fate of the world hung in the balance. His untamed shock of white hair and snowy beard contrast vividly with his carefully patched boots and the threadbare, faded-black, Edwardian greatcoat he sports in all but the hottest weather.
After a lifetime spent spanning the globe in the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake, Artsbalm returned to the U.S. in 1931, and he has resided in New Jerusalem since 1934, where he is currently pursuing a graduate degree in Modern Languages (Italian) from Missituk University. He has been heard frequently to intone, “The day we cease to learn, we begin truly to die.”  Though he publicly eschews private property on principle, he resists efforts by campus socialists to draw him into their ranks and vehemently opposes the idea of bloody revolution (hearkening back to his Quaker roots). In addition to knowing the Bible by heart, Artsbalm has committed prodigious amounts of verse, classical and modern, to memory, including the Matthew Arnold poem, “The Scholar Gypsy” from which he took his first nickname. His speech is studded with quotes in Latin, Ancient Greek, Hebrew, and more obscure languages.
Following his unexpected appearance at the freshman orientation banquet clad in a long, white robe and carrying a scythe (an event many of the students and more professors than would like to admit it found highly amusing), students began calling Artsbalm “Father Time”. A graduate student in the philosophy department certified the moniker after an embarrassing trouncing during a semi-formal debate, glumly conceding that “eventually Grim Kronos catches up with us all.” The statement amused Artsbalm to no end, who said it was the wisest remark the grad student had made all day.
Eccentricity encourages rumor, and each successive incoming class has added a layer of mystique to Artsbalm’s past. A vagabond, poet, philosopher, polar explorer, or escaped convict (it depends on who you ask), Artsbalm is always quick to maintain the air of mystery that clings to him so tightly. If questioned as to the veracity of any rumor about him, Artsbalm inevitably replies, “What has that to do with the third canto of Danté’s Purgatorio? (or with the Trojan War? or with Christian Socialism? etc.)” before launching into a rigorous academic discussion.
On three noteworthy occasions, Artsbalm has varied from his established pattern, verifying the following bits of information:

• He did meet and speak with Mark Twain.
• He did drive a field ambulance during the Great War as a conscientious objector.
• He has climbed the Great Pyramid at Giza.
• He did play chess, once, with Comrade Lenin.

When once asked why, of all the places he’s been, he chose to settle down in New Jerusalem, Artsbalm remarked, “There’s a great deal more going on in your average, quiet college town than most people ever realize.” Ironically, Artsbalm has little inkling just how apropos his comment was to New Jerusalem and Missituk, nor how incriminating it might seem to the wary.
Amongst many other languages Artsbalm also speaks fluent Cat, Dog, and a few other animal languages, and he knows a good deal about the truth behind the other living inhabitants of the world.

Current Location

New Jerusalem

Date of Birth

11th of November

Year of Birth

1885 CE 70 Years old

Birthplace

Albany, Ohio

Sex

Male

Gender

Man

Presentation

Masculine

Eyes

Light blue

Hair

Long white

Height

6' 3"