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Dungeon Burger

Introduction

Officially, Dungeon Burger is a "fast food" business - they obtain meat (mostly of monstrous species, although they also use regular cattle), process it into food, transport it to their many "restaurants", prepare the food, and sell it. Side activities include cooking rare monsters and selling the food to rich people, and their famed "dungeon delivery" service, where they'll send special delivery teams into dungeons to deliver food (with healing potions and magic items available as sides, albeit at twice the normal price) to adventurer parties.
In reality, Dungeon Burger serves one singular purpose: to distract its CEO, the lich Bob, so he won't try to destroy reality or conquer the world.  

History

During the 11th century PGD, two liches both sought to revive the Nameless God. One lich, Thaelgorax, prepared to revive the god during the Planetary Alignment of 1083 PGD. The other, Bheg'vod, became aware of this plan, and instead revived the god during the full solar eclipse of 1079 PGD. The ritual used proved to be too weak, as The Nameless God was slain once more within the year. Bheg'vod, meanwhile, was slain in retribution by Thaelgorax.   After this, Thaelgorax sunk into a great depression, having wasted several decades on a ritual that would have made the Nameless God far more powerful, and disappeared into the depths of his lair. Over the next two centuries, wilderness retook the area around his lair, and monsters took up residence. When a group of adventurers was sent in 1408 PGD to deal with the large monster threat to a nearby kingdom, the fighting resulted in Thaelgorax awakening, who proceeded to smite all the monsters invading his home. When he bitterly asked the terrified adventurers what he was supposed to do about his lair, covered in centuries of dust and invaded by "mindless beasts", the party's bard, Swifz, came up with an odd suggestion, no doubt fueled by the goblin's infamous appetite: "sell the monster meat and hire cleaners?"   And thus, Dungeon Burger was born (and Thaelgorax renamed to "Bob", so his name wouldn't scare off potential customers and investors).  

Employees

Dungeon Burger's staff consists of several different categories:
  • Interns are often unpaid, and underpaid otherwise, while they learn the basics, and the company determines the best role for them.
  • Regular staff manages the ordinary parts of the business: preparing food, serving customers, cleaning, transport.
  • Acquisition experts handle the more violent part of the business: obtaining monster meat (either rare or in great quantities) to use, clearing out spaces for cattle herds to graze, and eliminating any opposition.
  • Management handles the more complicated parts: paperwork, permits, profit sheets, employee managements, etcetera.
  • Irregular staff are used flexibly: their primary use is dungeon deliveries, but those don't occur often enough to justify a fulltime job, so they fill in where needed: they can assist regular staff during busy days, handle acquisition jobs when not enough acquisition experts are available, transport equipment, and function as deniable assets for less-savory jobs.
 

Reputation

Dungeon Burger has a bad reputation in several circles, for several reasons:
  • Even with the name Bob, the owner is Dungeon Burger is still a lich, and the company is known to hire intelligent monsters it encounters, the best-known example being the Spectators Xyx and Yxy, who are very yell-y. Bob's alignment being Evil doesn't help.
  • The company has hired several bugbears... but one of its flagship products is the Bugbear Burger. Although Bob insists staff is never used as food, this gives the company a macabre image.
  • The use of unpaid interns is frowned upon by unions, who find the practice abhorrent, and guilds, who don't like the competition.
  • Bob is known to use less-than-legal means when someone opposes Dungeon Burger, including assassination.
However, the company has also dealt with several villains whenever they became a threat to the economic stability of places, has saved the lives of several adventurer parties (albeit at a premium), and many monstrous races appreciate the opportunity to take a semi-respected career, so it has its supporters, as well
Type
Corporation, Food Industry

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