Letter in Jail
Imperial Order of the Solaris Republic
Office of the President
From the Desk of Sir Percival Waggles, Esteemed Lord of Law and Luminescence
To the Jailmaster and Assigned Guard Staff,
By the sovereign authority vested in me as President of the Solaris Republic and Herald of Enlightened Civilization, I issue the following directive concerning the detainees presently held in the lower barracks of Scholara:
They are not to be harmed.
They are not to be questioned.
They are not to be released.
These individuals are of particular interest to Lord Lyra Stormcaller, who has invoked his executive privilege under Clause Seven to assume custody of the prisoners upon his arrival. His reasons are arcane in nature and not for your concern. Suffice it to say, your only responsibility is to ensure they remain alive, intact, and moderately presentable.
Any deviation from these instructions will be met with the full weight of disciplinary action. That means me. And trust me—you’d prefer the dungeons. Maintain order. Pretend you're professionals.
Signed in my usual magnificent hand,
Sir Percival Waggles
President of the Solaris Republic
High Arbiter of Cleanliness and Discipline
Beacon of the Bureaucratic Flame
(et cetera, et cetera)
