The Loop

Somnihein

I step out of the bunker and into the light of the Fever Breach. I feel nauseous, finally given the time to process what just happened. I hold it in, though. I'm sure mom would be proud.
I reach the nearby outpost, keeping low to the ground as I approach the edge of the forest. I'm not really sure what to make of what I see.
I see bodies littering the ground, most are Dhitol soldiers. As I creep toward the edge of the outpost, my Geiger counter ticks with fury. I peek around a corner and see a field of red grass with streaks of green and yellow.
At the center is Fraeia. They sit with an eden's head resting in their lap. The corpse looks almost like someone tried to cut it in half judging from the massive cut along its stomach. Fraeia strokes the eden's hair, rocking back and forth with black tears streaming down their face.
I step forward, not sure what to say or even what I'm seeing. Fraeia mutters under their breath. I can't hear the words, but given who Fraeia is, or was, I assumed they were prayers; last rites and blessings of departure I move closer and Fraeia finally notices me. They reach out their hand and scream, "Stop."
I obey. The radiation surrounding the area is off the charts. I notice the skin of the corpse in Fraeia's arms. Their skin looks almost translucent. While the skin has some color, I notice the faint image of black veins wrapped around the skull. I can almost make out their teeth and other sights best left hidden beneath the surface.
"Neophytes?" I ask.
Fraeia nods, and takes a deep but shaky breath. "I thought they were soldiers. They're practically children." I stand there, unable to speak. A moment passes and they continue, "Why did they fight? They didn't even-" Fraeia pauses and resists their heaving lungs. "Ai mabhela…" I'm so sorry.
I want to console them, but I'm left fidgeting with my fingers in a desperate search for the right words. I then notice a flicker of light in the trees. I squint but can't make out what it is. The light flickers again. I catch the silhouette of large wings and the barrel of a rail rifle.
The gunshot sounds off before I manage to scream…

From the notes of Francis "Argus" Bors

Humans have nothing that comes close to the loop. The best analogy we have is a debilitating, life changing, existential crisis. The eden deal with the loop every day. It lingers on their mind, scratching at the door until some poor soul let's it in. Can you imagine the will it would take to go on?
At its core, The Loop is a mental illness. Every eden has it, but not every eden needs to worry about it's more devastating symptoms. It's the fear that matters here. The fear is what's truly traumatic about it. They spend their lives avoiding it, but those who are prone to reaching Somnihein don't have a choice. "The loop binds us all," so they say.
The Loop became more as the eons passed. It became a cultural icon, a fundamental component of eden society. Their understanding of life, the universe, and everything stem from it. Circumventing it achieves a higher state of being. It makes you one with the loop, but also separate; Somnihein.

Somnihein

Despite it being the name of their very faith, the eden refuse to even think about it. The whole idea of Somnihein is to avoid it. It's a state of being achieved through revelation. This revelation is knowing your own fate. It's knowing what destiny has in store for you, and knowing you can't change it. Let me explain...
To succumb to the loop is to forever be bound to secrecy, not that you'd want to tell. Those who know insist that no good can come from it. They wish they didn't have to be burdened with such truth, themselves. It is said to be a fate worse than death; immortality.
Those who reach Somnihein are often the highest members of eden society. They're diplomats, war saints, and great leaders, but common soldiers are just as likely to walk the same path. Even The breakers of chains have reached this state. They are those who learn of their fate and reject it. Why? Why reject immortality? Let's talk about death among the eden.

For whom the bell tolls

The eden have a special relationship with death. Death is the only escape from Somnihein but will only touch those who have yet to reach that state. Those who can't die bear a burden beyond imagining. Only a select few eden will be immune to death. There are those caught in the loop so tightly, that death cannot touch them. Even their gods follow this rule.
For the eden, the only fate worse than death is one where you can never truly die. There is a way out, though. Death can only come at the hands of another eden who managed to reach Somnihein. This death is predetermined, written in stone. You live without knowing just who has the bullet that will do you in. No wonder the eden revere war.
The eden live in fear of learning they are destined to see the great ending; the final death. They fear learning that they will watch all those they love die while they soldier on, marching toward the end of existence, the end of time. Death is fundamental to them. Life is entropy. Life exists to die. Somnihein is the universe revoking your life's purpose, its meaning.

The final death

The eden concept of death stems from their understanding of time. eden see time as a fixed series of events. Can someone change the past? Maybe, but if so then maybe they already have. The future is dependent on the past, and vice versa.
The future can be altered but no matter what, it's already set in stone. The timeline has already reached its conclusion. It's just a matter of playing it out. If you are to live forever, then forever you will live. Putting a gun to your own head will result in misfires, jams, or maybe the bullet just misses, no matter how impossible it seems. The universe goes out of it's way to make sure you live on.
There is no way to change it. There is no true solution. That's the loop's final stage, an eden lost for ages trying to solve an equation that never once had an answer. They freeze up as they realize they may very well be destined for infinity. If they conclude that they are, often through a miraculous event on a battlefield they should have died on, they reach Somnihein. A bout of extreme depression follows soon after.

Why?

Why is this possible? It shouldn't be. Fate does not exist and the eden are certainly aware of it. What is missing? The eden have no idea why the loop exists. They don't know how or why Somnihein occurs.
Those who reach Somnihein are often offered a way out. Some choose to stay behind. They don't ask questions. They just try to adapt. Those who can't are sent into a black hole, never to be seen again. Perhaps that is the only way to kill what can't be killed.
There are no scientific studies on the subject, no papers published. It's as if the eden chose to remain ignorant, or simply chose to bury the truth until it was forgotten. Is this why they have no history? Could they be haunted by past crimes like we are?

I feel the tears welling in my eyes as if preparing for a grand performance. They only need confirmation. I almost can't bear to look. The thought of an antimatter round hitting a body makes me shudder.
My eyes glance to Fraeia, and the tears are forced to recede. Did the round miss? I look at the crater on the ground and based on where it landed, it shouldn't have. A Dhitol sniper, or any sniper for that matter, would never miss a stationary target at such a short range.
Fraeia's eyes are wide. I see shock, disbelief… rage. "No," they whisper. They turn around and see the Dhitol sniper staring back. "No." They stand and their arms stretch out as if to give the sniper another chance. I hear the gunshot, and again, the round hits the dirt and detonates. Fraeia speaks through sobs and labored breathing, "No." They dive for a pistol on the ground and put it to their head.
My eyes go wide and Fraeia pulls the trigger. Again, I hear the shot go off before I can scream. A trail of rainbow vapor streaks through the air. The round passes through their head, yet they still stand. They're alive, left weak and weeping as they drop to their knees. "No…"