Weirdest job ever

Let me tell you about the job we just did - bear with me - it's a little weird so apologies if some things don't make much sense. It didn't at the time.
 
While we were at Scarlett's Ilyara got a call about a job and, since we didn't have anything else on we decided to head over and check it out.
 
What was unusual about this was - it wasn't about mercenaries or raiders or bad guys.
 
It was a poltergeist. Yeah, you read that right. A poltergeist.
 
The job referral came from Ilyara's boss at the hospital which is why it had come to her at all. It's not the sort of thing we'd usually deal with but Ilyara has a, well, lets just say a particular skills set that helps her deal with this kind of thing. The person with the Poltergeist problem was one Professor Archibald Ferdinand, a friend of the bosses, another reason Ilyara wanted to take it on, always a good idea to keep the boss happy.
 
The three of us headed over in the AV, the address was in a rather nice district and it was one of the higher floors. This wasn't a cheap address. The inside of the building reflected that. Plush carpets, marble and glass on the walls. The front door to the apartment looked like highly polished ebony wood, expensive. Although, the chances were it was a decent veneer hiding a high-tech security door underneath. Ilyara pressed the comms button and confirmed who we were. A moment later and the door swung noiselessly inwards.
 
On the other side was an older gentleman in what appeared to be rather expensive red silk dressing gown. He was well groomed and softly spoken. He invited us in, the apartment was obviously high end. Plush carpets, polished metal and rare woods. The table we sat at for tea was, at first glance just a simple wooden table. On further inspection it was Albino Redwood, probably hand crafted and with a mirror finish. That was a rare wood and not that many people could make an item like that anymore.
 
He had tea brought for us and we discussed the problem he was having. He was a collector and had amassed a large number of items from all over the world. Both Amarathian and Human. He believed that one of the items he had recently acquired was haunted and that this was causing the problem. This was going to be a slightly more complicated job in that we also needed to be careful as we couldn't go in all guns blazing like we usually do. There were a lot of rare and delicate artefacts we didn't want to destroy.
 
There were three items he'd purchased recently that he thought might be causing the issues. One was a stone mushroom. A sculpture of a frog with human arms which sounded slightly freaky to me. I think he said these were from the Amaranthian Elves across the Scottish Border. A native American peace pipe or a porcelain diadem.
 
He wasn't wrong about having a lot of artefacts. Once we got to the floor where the museum started there were glass cases full of objects, lecterns with books, plinths with statues and vases. I was glad my motor skills were much more finely honed so I was less likely to stumble and break something.
 
The case where the diadem was supposed to be was empty - there were a few masks in there - but the one that was missing was a crystalline mask. Made of Fusia according to the little notecard. This was rare. Seriously rare. Scarlett told me that Fusia was a very sought after material, made during the binding and has links to "The Other" and was used by Amaranthian Royalty.
 
Ilyara heard something three floors up and we decided to head up and investigate the noise. Sure enough we got up and scattered around were a number of broken artefacts, mainly wooden and human from what we could see. Ilyara tried calling out to whatever it was. The only response we got was the ball of a globe bouncing down the stairs. As I looked closer I could see horefrost spreading from the stairs. Ilyara said that meant there was likely some form of apparition up there. Then over the comms we heard a cackling sound.
 
I tried to talk to it, saying it might be more productive to talk to us. Whatever it was did try to talk back to us but it was some guttural language I didn't recognise. It could have been ancient or infernal but either was just a guess. Ilyara tried Amaranthian and it did talk back but it did something screwey with Ilyara because her eyes started glowing and she was moving slowly. Fortunately she was able to shrug it off and put up a shield.
 
From out of the shadows we saw something moving towards us. A horned creature with black skin, wearing the crystal mask. It pointed a long black claw at Ilyara. A quick scan of my database and I was able to determine it was some form of Imp. It also wasn't happy when it realised Ilyara wasn't under it's spell.
 
"It's a blood moon at the moment, I bet that's got something to do with this" Her and Scarlett then attacked the imp. I couldn't quite follow everything they did in the low light and with the speed at which they moved, but pretty quickly the imp was subdued and she was trying to take the crystal mask of it. It appeared to be attached to the skin but without even flinching Ilyara had drawn a knife and had cut the mask off. It was a little grim as the inside of the mask had the imp residue on it. The up-side was, this had finished the imp off and the only thing left now was it's skull. we put it out of the way and carried on. we wanted to make sure there was nothing else lurking and find the other missing items.
 
On the floor above we found the porcelain diadem. It was floating there in mid air. Not a good sign. As I looked again I realised there was an area of static - something was distorting the image. Ilyara starts talking to something and from where she's looking, her eyes are following the moving ball of static. After some discussion I tried cycling some frequencies to see if I can find one where I can see her and hear her. It's not 100% successful so the image is a bit jankey and the sound somewhat distorted but I am at least able to see what appears to be a very well dressed woman. She tells us she's tied to the diadem, which is why she's here. Her name is Elizabeth Felglow.
 
We sit down and broker a deal between Elizabeth and the Professor. She is going to stay here with him and help him with his museum. I think he was actually quite glad to discover that she was happy to stay and it looks like they might be good company for each other.
 
Before we leave the Professors butler Reginald came over with a box. The professor explained that this was linked to the Monks of Atem. An Amaranthian group who focus on the spirit and the projection of the spirit. They venture into the ethereal realms and the stars. They collect a lifetimes worth of knowledge and are accepting of all people, even people like trolls even though they would not normally be accepted into 'normal' society.
 
He opened up the box and inside is a ring made of wood and stone with a gem in the middle. Ilyara puts it on at the professors urging. As she puts it on, she dissapears from my displays and in her place is another ball of static, the same as when we first saw Elizabeth. I felt Scarlett tense up next to me and, after scanning the frequencies again I settle on one where I can see Ilyara, only it's not the same Ilyara I know. She's all in shades of grey like the old black and white photographs, only she also looks quite ethereal, a fact emphasised by the fact she now has fangs. I can tell Scarlett isn't happy but we also need to be careful not to offend the Professor. But then the ethereal Ilyara stood up and walked over to the window leaving the body behind. The next thing, greyscale Ilyara is floating out of the window. Before Scarlett could get up and over to the window she came floating back in and over to her body. She had an odd look on her face and, as soon as her ethereal and physical form connected, she threw up. The Professor just chuckled and called Reginald over who brought towels for Ilyara and quickly started mopping up the table and floor.
 
The professor took the ring from Ilyara and placed it back in the box then slid the box over to her. 'Please, a token of my gratitude. Although, I would recommend keeping it in the box as otherwise it can be bait for aberrant spirits" she nods and thanks him but then looks imploringly at me and Scarlett. I suggest we get her home and back to bed where she can recover and with that we leave the Professors apartment.
 
Scarlett suggests we go back to hers so she can keep an eye on Ilyara - she has an off-the-grid CNC so I can download into that while the robot body re-charges.
 
And that is the tale of the weirdest job I've ever been on and I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to top that - or if I ever want to to be honest...