Internal Monologue of a Witless Wonder Part 2

Solis awoke slowly and reluctantly. To say his dreams had been pleasant would be an understatement and he wasn’t keen on leaving them so soon. Especially since as he faded into consciousness he became painfully aware of the empty space in his bed -- what little there was anyway. And as he continued to leave the land of sleep behind his mind started to swirl, plucking images from the previous night and leaving him to agonize over what happened.
 
How could he have let himself slip up that much? What if someone had seen them? Technically Rayin and Pentia did but at least maybe it would be seen as him just being happy that Zel was safe and nothing else. Did he really make that joke? Why?
He dropped his head into his hands. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He was supposed to be ignoring these feelings, not acting on them! Zel had said it himself, he wanted to stay here because of everyone. He felt the same way about all of them. He’d probably do any of that with anyone else if they’d been in the same circumstance right? And even if somehow Sol was special -- which he wasn’t. He was a fucking tiefling. A half demon. Devilspawn. Staying with him would be foolish and irresponsible. There were better choices.
 
What if he’d already made one? Zel knew so little about himself. What if he had a family? What then?
 
Sol grabbed his pillow from behind him and shoved his face into it, muffling the growls and howls of frustration.
 
It really had been such a nice dream. Why did he have to wake up?