Arthoms 32nd letter (S2E18)

*Written in druidic*
 
 
To my dear cousin Thyria,
 
Aye, this night’s been one for the bloody record books.
 
Was drinkin’ in a pub, as ye do, regroupin’ with the misfits after chasin’ down Gurvel. Turns out I missed a right disaster while I was away. They filled me in—apparently, they got covered in shite, found some frog man, an’ freed some slaves from the Triad. Just another day in this gods-forsaken circus.
 
We decided tae send one o’ the freed slaves, a Lupo named Ocumwhowurst, back tae his homeland via Allil. Seemed the decent thing tae do.
 
Then Illyana arrived. Looked ‘round the room an’ just asked, “What the fuck happened?”
 
So, naturally, I gave her the rundown—
 
The curse on me.
 
Saib an’ how he might be behind it.
 
The massacre at the Victri mansion.
 
The collective madness that is this group.
 
After some discussion, me an’ Illyana agreed that the best way tae deal with this curse is tae do it the strongest way possible—which means takin’ an ungodly amount of hallucinogens.
 
Now, Illyana went off tae negotiate with the Nusaru tae get the drugs. Turns out, her form o’ negotiation was… unconventional. Came to an agreement with a big-Breasted Nusaru that involved sex in exchange for said drugs.
 
I, wisely, chose tae remain at the bar, drinkin’ heavily while they got tangled up in the throes o’ passion. Didnae even make it tae a room. Just went at it on the bloody stairs like wild beasts. Aye. That’s what we’ve come tae.
 
Zyanna joined at some point, because why not? This night couldnae get any stranger, aye?
 
Oh, but it did.
 
In the midst o’ all this debauchery, Ocumwhowurst sprinted past us, mouth on fire, screamin’ tae the gods. And what did the big-breasted Nusaru do? She shoved her bare chest in his mouth tae put out the flames. With milk.
 
…Aye. That happened.
 
Then, o’ course, the Mokuna assassins attacked, because apparently even the universe itself decided this night was too peaceful.
 
That finally got the whole group’s attention. Even in me slightly inebriated state, I grabbed me weapons an’ waded into the fight. Thought eae meself "if I’m dyin’ tonight, it sure as hell isnae gonna be with a FULL drink in one hand an’ a half-naked Nusaru runnin’ around in the background."
 
Your cousin,
Arty