Matt’’s Kitchen

08-08-2020: Game Thirty-Three: Matt’’s Kitchen
 
There was magic in this world once, but they stole it all away.
 
The gathered party and two elven survivors went into a meeting room: Bastard was contained in the next room over offering obscenities and little else. The leader and his champion had a hushed exchange of words, and ultimately it seemed that the party present would ‘have to do’ for whatever task they had at hand. The champion was far from pleased.
 
They indicated that it was fairly clear this structure was not of elven construction, more of a dwarven style as these things turn out. Apparently it had recently appeared in the area, and it was not a fallen structure from the Mageocracy of the Shattered Collective as they had imagined. Though of dwarven make, it did not appear to be the Dwarves from the lands of Tauk Savauruk.
 
As it turned out, the Yellow skinned folks: The Jafaa: and the elves all had arrived at the same time. It seemed this was not the home of the elves after all. The Yellow skinned troops had been a rear guard it seemed, and there might be more below.
 
The champion voiced his concerns: One of them is a stinking dwarf, one was a Mageocracy War Machine, one was a duck, and the fat mans veins are filled with noodles! He was concerned that the leader was not in fact a devout follower of his god, but that discussion would be held later.
 
Old stories had been passed along: Stories about a fortress that could move on its own: moving on land, not exactly a sky fortress. Or perhaps it fell out of some other plane? The sudden appearance of three factions here made for quite an interesting situation indeed. They offered to join the party in a downward delve to discern the truth of things. A temporary truce would have to be struck with Bastard: Yuk brought him back into the room.
 
Bastard begrudgingly accepted a truce, suggesting the Paladin’s god could suck his sweaty sausage. The elf retorted “He would never!” but maintained the peace for now.
 
They returned to the staircase and prepared for a descent: Bastard strode down first, chain blade in hand. As he came to the bottom of the steps, a ready Gith swung his blade at the stinking fellow. He cut deep, and Bastard replied with the purr of his chain blade. The duck swung on a rope down the stairs, tossing a smoke pellet and obscuring the room from view.
 
Yuk barreled down the stairs preparing to grapple a nearby enemy. The gith launched his attacks at the two within reach, and Yuk tried to catch his chains. Ophelia showed the elves that she was turning herself into a Gith so they’d hopefully not mistake her. Bastard inserted his chain blade into the grappled Gith: he died.
 
The champion strolled down the stairs, disgusted and annoyed with the smoke. He wondered why it was always so smoky in this castle?! Wrecker clanked down the stairs with the leader. The duck hid in the shadows and smoke, throwing yet another smoke pellet. Yuk walked around in the smoke, coughing and dropping the dismembered Gith.
 
Standing in the smoke, Ophelia reached out and touched on of the Gith. He didn’t much care for it, and fell down in a pool of blood. Bastard followed suit, walking out of smoke and striking at the Gith who had hit Yuk. He soiled himself and turned to run. Ophelia reached out and touched him as well, his ankles severed he collapsed in a pool of blood. The only Gith left in the room cowered in a corner.
 
Wrecker continued downwards, walking with the leader. The duck snuck forward with another smoke pellet ‘laying cover’ for an approach. The leader waltzed through the smoke and struck down the last Gith. They dug through the provisions in the barrels before quickly moving on.
 
A training room awaited next, and they looted a handful of weaponry before pressing.
 
The next room had some strange metal bars jutting out of the walls and a table in the center. The metal bars did not appear to be of note, and nothing of value was within the room either.
 
The party moved forward with speed, eager to learn the secrets of this strange place. Ophelia was masquerading as a Gith, holding the chain blade with no intent to use it. The paladin healed Yuks injuries slightly, and the party pressed forward.
 
Ophelia was successful in her disguise and suggested she needed backup immediately. She began casting wards around herself, and Ophelia decided not to let her finish. She slashed at her hands, wasting the flaming shield she was creating around herself. Bastard heard her confuse response and ran into the room with a disgusting touch: Sticking his filthy fingers into her open wound and sickening her thoroughly.
 
Unfortunately her flame shield spell went off and Bastard and Ophelia were burned by her flaming aura. As her surprise wore off, Bastard got in position and Ophelia gave her another trashing: jumping off the ceiling and cutting at her face. Offended by the vicious claw attacks she focused her efforts on Ophelia! She stepped back, thinking she was safe and tried to cast a spell: Ophelia interrupted with a surprise reach, and she finally succumbed to her many wounds.
 
Wrecker arrived down the stairs. Yuk crept up behind him. The duck followed with a smoke pellet. Ophelia mimicked the fallen Gith, and they prepared to ambush the fellow waiting in the next room.
 
She brought in bastard with manacles and a ‘fake limp’. He was very irritated that his work in a magic circle was being interrupted. Apparently, “one of the keys they were looking for “ was in fact located here. “Plus some bonus goodies”.
 
Bastard suggested the wizard “fuck himself” and spit on the magic circle with a mouthful of phlegm and blood. Ophelia cuffed him on the back of the head conveniently moving him forward. Ophelia swung her ‘self’s bastard sword, not seeming to hurt the fairly surprised wizard too much.
 
The wizard cast a spell and a shimmering wall appeared between him and the dwarf. Ophelia ran back and started smashing a hole in the wall to breach and hurt the wizard. Yuk ran backwards to follow the elf, asking what he was doing. He responded he had no good response for a wall of force and was continuing to explore. The duck followed them, stealthily, blasting another smoke pellet. Bastard fired his staff weapons at the growing hole in the wall. Wrecker followed suit.
 
Yuk tried to grab the elf and got lost in the smoke.
 
Ophelia raked the hole in the wall, making progress. The champion moved into the room: hoping to challenge the wizard. Yuk tried to grapple the elf again: and didn’t. Bastard followed with more fire into the wall. The duck fire a net, capturing the elf for now. Wrecker finished the hole in the wall. On the other side, the wizard was nowhere to be seen. Ophelia loudly proclaimed her dislike of wizards, and that he had apparently escaped although she could still smell him: she’d smelled his blood earlier.
 
The wizard attempted some spell on Ophelia, and everyone else! Most of the party was held by his mass hold person. Ophelia pretended to be held as well. Bastard ran up and gave him a mustache with a finger freshly adorned with his manly musk. He was profoundly disgusted, and sickened. Yuk motorboated the captive elf. The duck returned to the prior room, firing a net at the wizard. He missed.
 
Wrecker fired a bolt from his staff, hitting the wizard. He was less than happy. The wizard attempted to teleport away, but the dwarfs stench and his sickened state resulted in a final attack of opportunity with his stinky finger, which he touched to the wizards lips as he whispered his incantation. He had escaped, but at what cost? His rage towards the dwarf would surely lead to some fun down the road.
 
Outside the castle, unbeknownst to the party a view screen appeared in the air: An outraged Penelope proclaimed “ Your Jaafaa have failed. I am sending in my new away team. Iron Man, Mr. Fantastic, Devo, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Overcompensator: I want that key.”
 
Corpses
8 chain gith
Lieutenant Lady Gith