24-25 Navara, "Just keep walkin'"

Oh believe me, it's not like I've never had a crew succumb to the late-night siren calls of other-worldly maidens during a long watch. But at least those scaly broads had nice figures and voices to match. All night I listened to my deckhands swallow whole tankards of stupidity with these shrill pixies. Pretty sure Roscoe had a roll in the hay with ‘em if ya know what I mean. In the morning they were about to follow the ring leader around like a litter of lost puppies, so I told the sparkly bints to take a hike. We don’t need ‘em with me in charge. Navigating this forest is easier than paddling across a bathtub! If only my crew would recognize my genius we’d be done with the place. They get a little distracted by the flora and fauna, but I suppose a little sight-seeing in-between deadly magic weather events is tolerable. First there was the cave, which sex-man and…gotta think of a name for lil’ Rosc-y…they really wanted to take a stab at that cave... Zin followed my lead that time and helped me convince them otherwise. I saved us half a day’s travel with that shortcut! Then there was a decrepit prison the whole crew pondered over like dim bulbs. They’d probably still be wondering what those bars were for if I hadn’t told them. Gee, what a mystery!
 
Duraz, who is a druid of sorts, killed a baby phoenix with a mattock! Poked it right in the noggin’ while it was hibernatin’ in the ground. Or was it a shovel? There was bird goop on the blade! Hilarious! Then, when the mother showed up and we put two and two together, he wanted to kill her too! This is a funny druid! Not so funny though is that half the crew immediately turned tail and ran, leaving me and Sexman and Slaughter with this enraged phoenix. I’d have taken offense to such a desertion at sea, but I suppose cowards will run when it’s easy. Fern, miraculously, recognized the danger she had put Her Leader in and dutifully remedied the situation by blinding the bird, covering our stately withdrawal. You have to go where the currents take you, I suppose.
 
Most of the crew smells really bad, honestly, and I think the group would do well to bond over a shared hot spring. Zin is going to keep her eyes peeled. A first mate should always look out for the health and welfare of the crew, and it’d make up for her cowardly behavior during the Bird Slaying.
 
I’d put some coin on seeing that phoenix again.
 
Sexman was convinced he saw his progeny in the crystals. Took a lot of convincing to get him off it. Then he wanted to run off into the night saying he was bored. Clearly the crystals know how to motivate us, but once you know what motivates someone you can turn it around. The truth is that he’ll have more glory and then some by sticking with me. And carrying my chest. This damn thing is getting heavy. Anyway, they whispered to me too, trying to play me against My Harpooner, saying that he stole my ship’s anchor. I didn’t believe it for a second…