Session 115

General Summary

• Dazki warned Kiirni about the possibility about them getting replaced by "The Metronome Man"'s simulacra, and the party settled down for a long rest.
• During Kesmet's watch, he created a Minor Illusion of a closed door, which somehow turned into a real door that later fell on him.
• During Dwardazik and Marvin's watch, "The Metronome Man" appeared once more, woke up the sleeping party members, and sent them back in time.
• The time travel attempt was intercepted, however, by the person whose unfamiliar voice was most recently heard through the Rotor of Return. The voice mentioned Marshall in desperation, and then they heard the messages through the Rotor that Kesmet had experienced earlier.
• Suddenly, the party found themselves in "The Goliath Snake-Eater", another of Pendel's creations that resembled a large mechanical spider. Apparently, they were intended to wind up outside of it, where a different group had fought it and died in the process.
• The goal was to either defeat a "Chaos Kraken" — a powerful Turmoil-borne kaiju — or pilot the Goliath to a specific location and cause it to explode. The party initially tried to shoot it down using the Goliath's weaponry, but they switched tactics after settling into their roles.
• Though the Chaos Kraken had somehow found its way precisely onto their target at the exact moment when the Goliath was first in range, they barely managed to contest the location, climbing atop it and setting off a detonation.
• Just before the Goliath was about to detonate, the party suddenly found themselves back in the tunnel with Kiirni actively engaged in combat (she even stabbed Dazki but backed off immediately), and there was a triceratops who was blocking other aggressive intruders still further behind.

Full Recap

Dazki warns Kiirni that "The Metronome Man" has recently shunted them back in time.

Dazki: If that happens again, we may be replaced with automatons. Be careful, they tend to explode when disabled.   Kiirni: I... sure. You know, whatever. Why not.

Lie Down for a Nice Long Rest

First Watch: Kesmet and Kiirni

Voice: I need your help! I'm trapped down here! I haven't heard voices in a long time, please!

Kesmet ignores it and uses Minor Illusion to create an image of a door in the middle of the pipe between himself and Kiirni. There is a knock on the door. Kesmet tries to put his hand through it so he can see who's on the other side, but the door seems to no longer be an illusion. It's an actual door. Kesmet tries to dispel it, but that doesn't work. It's an actual door.

Voice: Do you have a key for this thing? Is very dark in here! You please open, yes?   Kesmet: Go to bed. Shhhh.   Voice: Please, I am scared of dark!   Kesmet tries to ignore it, but the voice is insistent.   Kesmet: I'm not opening the door. I can't. (Deception 20) I don't have a key.   Voice: Oh, that is unfortunate for both of us.

Dwardazik: Whoa, what was that?   Dazki: What the fuck was that noise?!   Dwardazik: Are we under attack? What's goin' on?!   Grogery: Uhhh... five more minutes...   Dazki: Kesmet, what was that?!   Kesmet: I tried to cast an illusion spell, and it turned real. It fell over, then disappeared.   Marvin: Well, don't do that again, all right?   Dwardazik: You cast an illusion and then it became real?! ...could you try castin' an illusion of a pile of gold?   Kesmet: Hmm... OK.   Dwardazik: But only a small pile, in case it tries to eat us!   Dazki: While you guys do that, I'm going back to sleep.   Marvin: Me too.   Grogery: In Phantasmagoria, the rich eats you. Good night.   Dwardazik: Tell me if it goes OK.

Kesmet creates an illusory foot-high pile of gold.

Second Watch: Dwardazik and Marvin

Dwardazik dons his armor, equips his weapons, and faces the blockage in the pipe. Marvin sits on the opposite side of the sleeping party.

Dwardazik: What's your business?   Pendel: Why do you think a bad guy is less than a person?   Dwardazik: You're asking me, specifically? Or is this a general morality question?   Pendel: It's strange to me where, as soon as you attribute a negativity to somebody, that you suddenly see them as less of a person, and thus devoid of most of their rights.   Dwardazik: You're saying that people should not be guilty of their crimes because they're "special"? That's all I'm getting from what you're saying.   Pendel: I'm asking. Why is a bad guy less than a person?   Dwardazik: Usually because they get rid of anything that makes 'em a normal dwarf or human, and accept the things that make them no better than simple, mindless beasts. That's why. Make sure you don't raise your voice too loud and wake up my companions. (He makes a hand motion for Marvin to come over. Marvin does.) What's your business here? If you're having issues being a villain and seeking some kind of justification, then might I suggest going to the nearest city's library and looking up "Ethics for Villains"?   Marvin: Wait, what's this asshole saying, now?   Dwardazik: He's feeling sorry for why he's being all evil.   Marvin: OK, so he's gonna stop?   Dwardazik: No, he just wants to keep doing what he's doing but be treated like he's normal.   Marvin: Well, have you told him to fuck off yet?   Pendel: What have you done to the hound, Dober, again? Saved him, healed him, told him not to be scared? Meant him no harm... as long as he complied? He was right to be scared of you, though, wasn't he?   Dwardazik: Uh... no?   Pendel: Almost ending his existence in the blink of an eye, as soon as that helpless captive of yours stood up for anything he believed in. He was right to be scared.   Dwardazik: Just because life is fleeting doesn't mean you have to be scared of everything. More importantly, why are you even here?   Pendel: I'm afraid I must confess, I am endlessly interested in the harmony of your collective song.   Dwardazik: Look, the only reason why I haven't bashed your mechanical body into pieces yet is because I really don't want it blowing up in this pipe. So, if we can just make a deal to maybe not blow up, and maybe not be incredibly annoying, I'll answer and humor your questions.   Marvin: As long as they're not loaded questions, or any of that bullshit you've been spouting lately.   Dwardazik: And don't get the wrong impression — I'm still gonna come find you and beat your ass.   Pendel: I'm right here.   Dwardazik + Marvin: No you're not.   Pendel: Oh, but I am!   Dwardazik: No you're not. I know the beast that you truly are. Once I find a way of getting to that plane, I'm going to rip you apart. Piece by piece. But that's not now.   Pendel: So you two speak for the rest of your haphazard party, then?   Marvin: I make no claims that I speak on behalf of Dazki or Kesmet over there.   Pendel: Then perhaps we should wake them!   Marvin: They need their beauty sleep. I'd prefer if you didn't.

Dazki: Ugh... more?!   Grogery: Aww darn it, not again!

Dwardazik attacks at the form of "The Metronome Man". Dwardazik and Marvin throw the pieces back towards where they came from.

Dazki: How is this helping?   Marvin: We don't know how his magic works.   Pendel: I must admit, I'm quite upset. But some of us have decorum, here.   Marvin: Oh, "decorum"? Like waking up our entire group, huh? When we asked you not to?   Pendel: It was your suggestion.   Marvin: That is the worst interpretation of what we were saying.   Dazki: OK. Listen, uh, whatever-you're-going-by-these-days, can you please allow us to finish sleeping?   Pendel: I wasn't planning on you getting much rest today.   Dazki: Well, you claim to be the one with "decorum", so why don't you decide to have some, be polite, and let us sleep?   Pendel: A trade, then.   Dazki: What would that be?   Pendel: I wish for you to give to my now-mangled body the Rotor of Return.   Dazki: I cannot give you something that I do not possess.   Pendel: I know you have it.   Dwardazik: OK, I will give you the Rotor of Return, but you must never bother us again.   Pendel: You would?   Dwardazik: Yup.   Pendel: Just like that?   Dwardazik: Yup.   Pendel: And you speak for the rest of your crew?   Dwardazik: Nope.   Pendel: Show me it, then.   Dwardazik: I don't have it yet. I'd have to go get it.   Pendel: Well, do that.   Dwardazik: That's not what we're agreeing upon. I will give it to you if you don't bother us.   Pendel: If I get my Rotor of Return, I will have no need to bother you.   Marvin: We're not going to be physically capable of getting it to you if we're exhausted.   Dwardazik: That's not how that works.   Kesmet: Also, you seem pretty untrustworthy.   Dwardazik: The deal is, I will give you the Rotor of Return if you stop bothering us.   Pendel: ...I feel I need to explain something to you.   Marvin: Nah, there's really no explaining. It's pretty black-and-white.   Kesmet: You can explain it to us in 8 hours.   Pendel: I will explain to you the situation.   Dwardazik hits the small pieces into even smaller pieces.   Kesmet: 8 hours.   Pendel: I don't much need you anymore, like I no longer need The Hounds Guild.   Marvin: Then why are you bothering us?   Pendel: I am obsessed. And as much as it would delight me to allow your song to continue unaltered, I must hear more of it. And the fact that I don't seem to be able to eliminate you directly has been a bit of a hindrance.   Kesmet: That sounds really complicated. Let's have a good night's sleep and figure it out tomorrow.   Dwardazik takes off a "leg" and uses it to hit the "head". Nothing seems to work here.   Dazki: Dwardazik, I think you can probably stop with whatever rage you are working out at the moment.   Kesmet: I'm gonna let him. It's probably cathartic.   Pendel: I am not being aggressive.   Marvin: You're aggressively waking us up...   Dazki: You're not being physically aggressive, but there is aggressiveness in what you're doing.   Dwardazik: Hey Marvin, what is the opposite of a song?   Grogery: Cacophony?   Marvin: Yeah, cacophony...   Dwardazik: I was kinda thinkin' silence, right?   Pendel: Well, since none of us are going to get too much rest here today anyways, perhaps we can discuss plans —   Dwardazik: Can someone make an area of silence?   Grogery: I do, but it doesn't last for long enough, and as soon as I go to sleep, it's gone.   Dwardazik: How about if we just completely ignore him?   Marvin: I'm OK with that.   The mutilated corpse of Pendel pulls a stool out of the stream of water and sits down on it.   Kesmet: Well, I'm gonna go back to bed.   Dazki: Yeah, seems reasonable.   Grogery: Uh-huh.   Dazki: I'll be happy to discuss things when I awake from my meditation.   Pendel: That simply won't do. You're so off about a lot of things! I must hear the song continue!   Dazki: You can hear it continue in a few hours.   Kesmet: Dazki, just leave him alone. Let him talk. When he tires himself out, then we can just go to bed.   Pendel: Oh, this certainly won't do.   Grogery: You'd think he'd have learned to stop interrupting people's lives by now, especially in a place like this. The most we can do at this point is ignore him.   Kesmet: Look. You're a fucker. We want to sleep. You're preventing us from sleeping. The longer you're preventing us from sleeping, the longer it's going to take us to sleep, and the longer this whole crap gets dragged out. So, you can either keep interrupting our sleep, or you can let us sleep and expedite whatever the fuck it is you're trying to pull, OK? It's entirely your choice. You have all the power here.   Pendel: I know, for a fact —   Kesmet flips him off and goes back to trying to sleep.   Pendel: I know, for a fact, that you're no more amiable after a good night's sleep.   Kesmet: How amiable we are depends on whether or not we get on the road. And we're not getting on the road until we've had a good night's sleep. And that good night's sleep begins when you leave.   Pendel: I really, really don't want to have to end your song. If you do not speak with me, you leave me little choice. (He takes out his fanciful machine of music and starts to play a tune.) I wish to hear how you work together in an unfamiliar environment, still. So I will tell you a story. I would like to introduce to you another one of my devices, in a line of miraculous mistakes I've made.

Marvin quickly improvises and congeals a bunch of cotton balls and passes two of them around to everyone, saying to put them in their ears. Dwardazik and Kesmet try to sleep through it.

Pendel: Code named "The Goliath Snake-Eater", this Super-Custodian used to patrol the enemy side of The Wall™ within the No Man's Land emanating from near the end of the war. It eliminated anything that managed to crawl into the desolate space while The Great Wall™ was still gaining its full power.

The two are able to sleep through his noise and speech.

Pendel: And though the bodies I'm about to swap you with were destined to fail without so much as laying a dent on the Goliath's hull, I'm sure you would do at least slightly better. Just remember, dear travelers: you can always beg for mercy if you think you're about to die horribly, and I'll see what I can do about it!

Lost in Transmission

Voice 1: Warriors! Damsel! I've hijacked the signal, I just need the tonal wavelengths to latch onto! STAY. COMPLETELY. SILENT. Any noise here could alter the song of time immeasurably!

Voice 1: Marshall, why haven't you copied?!

Voice 1: Can you hear? Time is ours! We need to send NOW! Give me the sequence!   A response at last, barely comprehensible as if yelling through a metal door filled with locusts: d̰̎es̼͗p͉͊e͙̚rat̨̔io̡͆n^{a͖n̥x͖i̘e͟t͔y͇}_{c̽ö́m͆p̋l̐ȉăn͗c̓e͘}.   A thunderous bell, then a dark, sinister voice from within the static of the device: Taking a chance, then? You grant me strength in my connection. I thrive in your poor choices.   A more distant, barely audible, but kinder voice: You can suck my nads, Prime! I have confidence in the Damsel's choices!"

---

Dwardazik points to the rest, and then to the trapdoor, and heads up.

Voice 1: Warriors! I have moved the timeline forward, and I altered the targets to the attendants within this vessel, instead of the ones who had previously died outside of it. Unfortunately, this has caused a BIT of a delay, and it seems we have not avoided the assault of the Chaos Kraken. This may complicate things, but... it's not boring? The target location is ten paces lateral and two paces Wall™ward. If you bring me near the captain's quarters, I can input the coordinates into the positioning system. Bombing — or stalling on the space until destroyed — is all that's required. Good luck, warriors!   Marvin: ...did he just say coordinates, for a bombing?   Grogery: Yeah, we're trying to get the pipe to have been broken in the past, so it will have been broken in the present, and he's told us we need to go "ten paces lateral and two paces Wall™ward".

Let's Get Kraken

• Marvin takes up the Captain's station, where he will stay for the remainder of this segment.
• Dazki starts out at the Pilot's station.
• Kesmet heads over to the Fuelwright's station, where he spends most of his time.
• Grogery and Dwardazik start out being gunners.

Dazki pushes the Goliath forward, full steam ahead, as Marvin coordinates plans with the Gunners and Kesmet supercharges them, so they can take the best shots they can get. Grogery fires the Mountain-Piercing Broadside Ballista, impacting on the Chaos Kraken for massive damage. Dwardazik also fires one, barely missing.   The Chaos Kraken dashes forward as well, then attempts to slam into the Goliath, failing to do any actual damage.   Realizing that the Goliath is now completely out of steam, Grogery moves to assist Kesmet at the Fuelwright station, and Dazki takes the opportunity to switch over to the Engineer station to see what he might be able to do to assist from over there, while the Goliath recovers from the boost from the previous turn. Marvin coordinates plans with the Fuelwrights to get the best chances of powering up the Goliath. Kesmet casts a Fireball into the engine, adding a little bit more steam than expected. Grogery follows it up with a Sacred Flame, charging it up even further. Dazki recalibrates the power systems of the Goliath to give the Gunner station extra power, at the expense of some power to the Pilot station. Dwardazik fires another Mountain-Piercing Broadside Ballista, but it's an unlucky shot and goes wide.   The Chaos Kraken moves forward and grapples the Goliath. Without anyone at the Pilot's station, the Goliath is automatically stuck in place, and then the Chaos Kraken slams the Goliath, disabling the Mountain-Piercing Broadside Ballista.   With the Goliath powered up and Kesmet staying at the Fuelwright station, Grogery moves to the Pilot station to try to break free, and Dwardazik moves to the Engineer station to help Dazki repair the damaged Mountain-Piercing Broadside Ballista. Marvin focuses his attention on the Pilot station to give the best shot at breaking free of the grapple. Kesmet also adds some energy to the Pilot station. The combined efforts of everyone focusing on the Pilot station are barely enough, after the minor penalty from the recalibration, to allow the Goliath to break free of the Kraken's grapple. Dwardazik repairs the Mountain-Piercing Broadside Ballista, leaving Dazki feeling that there was nothing productive he could do.   The Chaos Kraken stays in place. Part of it falls off, growing into a tentacle-like crystal that gives it more actions per turn. It then launches a Tumultuous Shard at the Goliath, damaging both Dwardazik and Dazki at the Engineer station and taking the Pilot station's forward movement and speed burst offline.   Grogery switches to the Gunner station since the Goliath can't move anyway, and Dwardazik switches from Engineer to Gunner as well. Marvin boosts the Engineer station to try to get the Goliath moving again, as Kesmet pumps more juice into it. Dazki tries to bring the forward movement capabilities back online, but he fails. After some quick discussion, Grogery decides to start loading a Rear Starfall Annihilation Bomb, and Dwardazik powers up the Dragon-Turtle Electrical Impulse Shield to protect the Goliath for a quick burst and (hopefully) damage the Chaos Kraken in the process.   The Chaos Kraken slams into the Goliath, taking damage from the Dragon-Turtle Electrical Impulse Shield without penetrating it, but it also damages the Goliath's Refuel, taking it offline. Editor's note: looking at it again, Refuel was supposed to be special, requiring 3 points of damage to disable. This was an oversight.   Kesmet moves to the Pilot station so he can turn the Goliath, and Dwardazik moves to Engineering to try to repair. Marvin focuses his attention on Engineering, and Kesmet turns away from the Chaos Kraken. Emboldened, Dazki repairs the Goliath's forward movement capabilities and fortifies it, protecting it a little against any further damage. Dwardazik grabs his tools and heads for the Pilot station to repair the dash ability, but when Kesmet sees him coming up, he points out that the dash isn't as important as being able to Refuel; Dwardazik agrees and repairs that instead. Grogery finishes the two-step process of deploying the Rear Starfall Annihilation Bomb, which deals some decent damage to the Chaos Kraken and handily destroys its crystal spawn.   The Chaos Kraken spawns another shard, puts up a shield and tries to slam (but fails).   Dazki switches to the Pilot station to get the Goliath moving faster now that the damage is less severe. Marvin boosts the Gunner station, Kesmet moves the Goliath forward away from the Chaos Kraken, and Dazki rotates it to give the Gunner station a clear broad-side shot at the crystal. Dwardazik tries unsuccessfully to repair the Goliath's dash, and Grogery shoots the Mountain-Piercing Broadside Ballista at the crystal, which shatters into frogs, and then those frogs shatter on the ground.   The Chaos Kraken dashes closer to the Goliath, takes the Dragon-Turtle Electrical Impulse Shield offline with a lucky strike, and then unexpectedly dashes Wall™ward, getting out of the Goliath's way for some reason.   Kesmet moves to the Fuelwright station to prepare more fuel. Grogery sees an opportunity and moves to the Pilot station, leaving the Gunner station empty. Marvin boosts Engineering, Kesmet puts another fire bolt into the mix, the pilots move forward as quickly as they can, and Dwardazik repairs the Goliath's ability to dash forward.   The Chaos Kraken dashes forward again, successfully grappling the Goliath and holding it in place, and then another lucky strike disables the Front-Facing Flame Cannons.   The Goliath having been decently fueled up, Kesmet sees the open Engineering station slot and starts to head that way, but Grogery asks him to take his place at the Pilot station instead, since Grogery's own skillset is more suited for Engineering than Kesmet's. Marvin boosts the Engineering station to keep repairs coming in steadily, and then the pilots plow through the grapple like it's nothing. Dwardazik can't quite bring the Dragon-Turtle Electrical Impulse Shield back up on his own, but Grogery finishes the job.   The Chaos Kraken moves forward at a slower pace, spawns another tentacle, slams the Goliath hard enough to break its ability to dash forward again, and dashes forward unexpectedly.   Marvin boosts Engineering again, and the Pilots move it forward as quickly as they can. Dwardazik tries to repair the dash ability, again not quite making it, but Grogery builds off of his attempt, not only repairing it but reinforcing it against further damage as well.   The Chaos Kraken moves forward at a slow pace again and spawns another tentacle. It slams the Goliath twice, one of them taking down the Goliath's ability to rotate. It also zaps a Turmoil-borne enemy onboard the Goliath, which immediately deals heavy damage to Marvin.   After some quick discussion about how best to stretch themselves even more thinly, Kesmet moves to deal with the infiltrator, and Grogery moves to the Gunner station to deal with the spawns. Marvin boosts Engineering again, and Dazki pushes the Goliath forward with a dash to get as close to the target as possible by himself. Dwardazik repairs the Goliath's ability to rotate, and Grogery fires a Mountain-Piercing Broadside Ballista at the nearest spawn, destroying it.   The Chaos Kraken deploys a shield, spawns a crystal, and takes out the Mountain-Piercing Broadside Ballista again. It then moves directly on top of the location where the voice from the Rotor had told them to move to.   Grogery moves to the Pilot station for the final push, and Kesmet returns to the Fuelwright station to do one last bit of refueling. Marvin boosts the Pilots to give them the best chance they can have to oppose the Chaos Kraken on the target location. Kesmet fuels up the Goliath one last time, and Dazki and Grogery work together to overpower the Chaos Kraken to reach the final destination.

There Was Supposed to be an Earth-Shattering Kaboom

Dazki: Engineers! Sabotage the engines, break everything you can!

Having reached the destination, Dwardazik jumps off the Goliath. In midair, he takes out his mace and prepares to strike, but he and the rest of the party are suddenly placed elsewhere.

Dazki: I think Roamer and I are even now.   Dwardazik: What the hell?! What is all this shit?!

(Perception 23) Dazki does not hear any ticking.