Winter 4987, 27 Ginmoth
Everything had changed.
Shon couldn’t sleep and doubted he would ever sleep again. He closed his eyes and saw only Lily. Her smile as she danced. Her hair tumbling about her shoulders as shook it free. Her serene face as she cupped his hand to her cheek. Her eyes as she pulled him closer.
Shon screamed his frustration into his pillow, then threw it from the bed, making Ryuuko hiss in surprise at the uncharacteristic outburst. Of course, he'd thought about kissing Lily before. Who wouldn’t? But he'd never once expected her to want to kiss him. Sure she touched him more than anyone else ever did, but she touched everyone…
Refreshing. She'd said his cold was refreshing…
He dragged himself to his desk and flipped open his journal, past pages, and pages of nightly writing and drawings. And of Lily. Shon had drawn her again and again over the year since they'd met. Even while she was gone, he'd found himself drawing what he thought she must look like. Bent over a desk similar to his, writing her letters or tapping her pen against her lips as she thought. There were plenty in the pages that weren’t of Lily, but they seemed dull scribbles by comparison to him now.
Reaching a blank page, he lifted his pencil, then let it fall back to the desk, dropping his head to bang on the wood. Ryuuko whistled in sympathy, but Shon ignored it. He wasn’t supposed to be kissing anyone. He was supposed to be training. Communing with Hengist and building his relationship with his god… But his lips still tingled, and he could taste a hint of cinnamon on his tongue. He'd wanted more. Had even squeezed her as if to pull her closer, to press her body against his.
Shon squeezed his eyes shut but couldn’t bring himself to try and banish the images that swam in the darkness of his memories. Why had she wanted to kiss him? What if she didn’t want to do it again? Had he messed up? Pushed too hard? Gods, he'd pulled her hair! What had he been thinking?! Sure he had fantasies that weren't necessarily the most... honorable, and anything but gentle... but they were only teenage fantasies. He never actually planned to do anything rough like that, and yet in his first kiss he pulled her hair?
Shon leaned back, hiding his face in his hands. Hands that had dared to pull her hair, dared to squeeze her hip. Ryuuko landed on his upright chest and tried to force its head between his fingers.
He wasn’t supposed to feel like this. He wasn’t allowed to kiss or court. He let his hands fall limply to his sides and stared unseeing at the ceiling while Ryuuko licked his cheek. She was leaving in the next day or two, and he had no idea where they would send him when he took his Oath…
What if he never saw her again?
***
Shon still hadn’t found sleep when they fetched him for watch.
Dawn watch went from midnight to sixth-morning bell. The celebrations, just out of sight, would continue until well past fourth bell. They stationed him in the northeast parapet, patrolling to the southeast parapet. Placing the fortress proper between him and the party. It may have been meant as an extra bit of punishment, but Shon found himself grateful. He didn’t want to look down at the crowd and see Lily sitting alone on the sidelines, too embarrassed to dance without a dress.
Or dancing with someone else.
Rerves was the best dancer of them. Being from a noble family, he was trained since he could walk in courtly etiquette and dance. Shon knew his fellow Squire liked Lily -hells most of them liked Lily- and they were all better for her. Shon rubbed his gloved hands across his face and over his helm, his blasted armor clanking with every move. He was supposed to be focused on watch, but a thousand draken could've rushed the wall screaming for blood, and he probably wouldn't have noticed.
The stars still hadn't faded, and the sun wouldn't rise for a few more hours when sixth bell sounded and the Paladin on duty came to relieve Shon of his watch. The knight yawned loudly as Shon gave him a sharp salute, returning it with a lazy one by comparison. With Ryuuko hanging onto his sword hilt Shon trudged down the steps to the now quiet courtyard, still distracted and now exhausted. What would he say to her? She made a point of mentioning breakfast but would she even be awake? The villagers were all camping in the riding ring on the other side of the fortress and wouldn’t wake until closer to noon. Was he ready to see her again? Would he ever be?
As he took the last step and removed his helm, Shon heard a familiar laugh from the gate, “Better late than not at all, though, right?” Shon froze, and Ryuuko whistled. He knew that voice and turned at once for the gate, feeling a rush of new energy.
Veon-Zih waved at the Paladin on duty as he strode, smiling, into the courtyard. “Master!” Shon called, breaking into a jog to meet the Monk while Ryuuko flew ahead to land on his bald head, “I thought you weren’t going to make it.” Shon stopped short and bowed to his Master, left fist in right hand. He'd never wanted to speak to the man so much in his entire life.
Veon-Zih chuckled and returned the bow, “Well, technically, I didn’t.” he looked Shon over and arched an eyebrow at his student’s armor. Shon blushed, looking away, “Extra practice? During solstice?”
“Watch…” Shon admitted. Veon-Zih would know it was a punishment, and considering how everyone else reacted, he didn’t want to admit to the Monk how he'd earned it.
Humming in understanding, Veon-Zih looked his student over again then shook his head, “Shon, I would like you to meet a friend of mine. Master Velona, this is my student, Shon. Shon, this is Master Velona. She's a Master Monk of the Kensai Monastery in Halakon.”
He was so focused on Veon-Zih, Shon hadn’t even noticed the woman. She was a few inches shorter than Shon, with a shaved head and darkly bronzed skin of the desert region. She had both a quarterstaff leaning in the crook of her shoulder and a small curved sword strapped across her lower back. Master Velona reached up to let Ryuuko sniff her hand, and only after meeting the pseudodragon's approval, did she step forward and bow in the Monk fashion to Shon.
Shon returned the bow, and Master Velona smiled warmly at him, “It is a pleasure to meet you, Student Shon,” she said it like a title, “Master Veon-Zih has told me a lot about you.”
“Squire!” the Paladin at the gate shouted at them, “Why don’t you show our guests inside? It's freezing out here.”
Shon flinched. He hadn’t even thought that they might be uncomfortable, further evidence of his foggy brain. “Yes, Sir!” Shon called to the Paladin with a salute. Veon-Zih chuckled and started for the fortress before Shon had even dropped his arm and Shon turned to walk beside him, staring at the ground.
“You seem upset.” Veon-Zih observed, “What were you put on watch for?”
Shon sighed, they would talk about it eventually, and it was a good way to lead into what he was really upset about, “A sparring match with Lily. I didn’t hold back, and…”
“She’s here?” Velona interrupted, stopping in her tracks.
Shon furrowed his brow at the lady Monk.
Velona looked to Veon-Zih and sighed, “Well, that makes things a lot easier.” Shon looked between the two of them as they exchanged a meaningful look. Why would they be looking for Lily?
When Veon-Zih turned back to him, Shon arched an eyebrow and Veon-Zih shook his head, Ryuuko losing purchase and fluttering over to take its place on Shon's shoulder. Veon-Zih explained, “She didn’t tell anyone where she was going. She just disappeared, so Rasnah sent us to see if you might have an idea where she went.”
She what?! Shon covered his face and ran his fingers through his hair yet again.
“Is she hurt?” Veon-Zih asked calmly. When Shon looked up, he elaborated, “From the sparring?”
“Just a few bruises. She’s been practicing with the staff for a year, and she’s really good, but…” Shon tried to explain. For some reason, he felt the need to defend himself more with Master Veon-Zih than he had with the Weaponmaster and Major General.
Veon-Zih shook his head in disappointment, and Shon’s excuses stuttered to a stop. Looking up at the sky, the Monk sighed, “Paladins…” then grinned at Shon, “And I bet they wanted you to go easy on her? Or not fight at all?” Shon nodded, and Veon-Zih clapped him on the shoulder, “At least it was only watch. Try not to let it bother you, Shon. If the girl isn’t hurt or upset then I, at least, don’t think you did anything wrong.”
Shon felt his whole body relax under his Master's strong hand. Of course, Master Veon-Zih would understand. But that wasn’t why Shon was upset, and his shoulders tensed again a moment later.
Before he could open his mouth to continue, Velona asked, “She’s studying the quarterstaff?”
Shon nodded, and Veon-Zih looked at the woman, “You think you can use that to get her to go back?”
“Perhaps,” Velona shrugged, “Though it will mean putting off my pilgrimage a little longer.”
Shon looked between the two once more but the guard at the gate shouted again, “Squire! It’s cold. Get those two inside before their heads freeze!” Shon jumped again and saluted once more while Masters Veon-Zih and Velona threw their shaved heads back in unison and laughed.
Rushing for the door, Shon held it open for the Monks, letting them in before following and freezing as he stared down the hall toward the mess. Through the open door, he could see Lily. Sitting alone at the Squire's table across from his usual spot.
She was waiting for him. Why else would she be sitting there when everyone else was taking advantage of their freedom to sit at the Paladins' tables? He swallowed.
“Why don’t you take care of that armor, Shon.” Master Veon-Zih suggested, “We can talk after I meet with Daunas and Sir Selibra.” Shon blinked, then nodded, barely remembering to bow again before retreating up the stairs to his room.
She was waiting for him…
***
