Winter 4986, 26 Ginmoth - Winter Solstice

The training Mages were given five whole days without lessons but at least ten days' worth of extra work. In Lily's opinion, anyway. Not that she bothered to do it. She'd kept her deal with Han and stopped skipping classes, except on predetermined days. But that didn't mean she was going to spend her limited free time staying up late to read about magical components and equations she would never use.  

Instead, she stayed up late to read the fun books Vevi lent her, often only managing a few hours of sleep before being forced awake by the morning bells and having to run to class without breakfast. After lessons, she would train with the quarterstaff, sometimes alone and sometimes with Han, but definitely every day. She even had a special fund she was setting aside to buy her own staff and would have enough by the new year.

But then they were given five days off, and Lily took advantage by dragging Han into the city for the first two days and planned to sleep in until late afternoon on the third.

But apparently, someone had other ideas...

A gentle knock sounded on Lily's door, and she rolled over, burying her face deeper into her pillow. She didn't want her dream to end... Maybe if she could fall back asleep fast enough, it wouldn't leave her longing for more this time... The knock came again, a bit more insistently. 

"Go away..." Lily yelled, the words muffled by her pillow. 

Her door opened, and Lily groaned as the light from the hall streaked across her face. "Lily?" Vevi spoke softly but not quite a whisper, "Are you still sleeping? It's nearly noon..." 

"I happen to know that most Mages here sleep until noon whenever possible," Lily growled, turning her head and cracking one eye open to see the Mage woman come the rest of the way in and place a box on her desk. 

Vevi laughed, gesturing with one hand and flicking some random component or other into the air with the other. Lily's curtains slid open with the spell, flooding the room with winter light, and she finally sat up. There was no way she was going to get the dream back now. She sighed, realizing the Squire from the dream would already be up and moving before she'd even fallen asleep. 

"I know exactly what you mean, Lily, but today's Winter Solstice! No one sleeps in on Winter Solstice!" Vevi exclaimed, "I honestly expected you to be up at dawn, pounding on Han's door to take you out." she knelt beside Lily's bed and pulled out her clothes box for her. 

Lily tried to speak around her yawn with limited success, "I waaas up at dawnnnn..." she let herself slide onto the floor beside Vevi, her sleeping shirt riding up so her bare butt hit the cold floor making her jump. "that was about the time I went to sleep." Lily finished her explanation. 

"So I take it you need a new book then?" Vevi stated more than asked, a laugh clear in her voice. She ran her hands through her hair, recently cut to her shoulders, "You've been going through them fast enough. I suppose you like the genre then?" 

"More now than before," Lily explained, reaching down to remove her shirt as Vevi stood to get out of her way, "Though I still think it's silly people don't just communicate with each other." 

Vevi hummed a tone that Lily chose to interpret as agreement. Moving for Lily's desk, Vevi changed the subject, "I got you something..." 

"Hu?" Lily turned on her knees, letting her sleeping shirt fall back over her shoulders and scrambling to her feet, "But why?" 

"Well..." Vevi opened the mysterious box, turning and presenting its contents to Lily as she explained, "I can't use these anymore, so I thought it would be nice if you would use them..."

The box was full of pairs of sticks. Lily reached in and took one of a set. It was lacquered smooth, about as long as her hand, pointed on one end, and capped with a red stone on the other. "They're for your hair," Vevi explained, "Mine's too short since I cut it, but I thought you might..." 

"They're so pretty!" Lily interrupted exuberantly, "How do I use them?" 

Vevi laughed, "Why don't you get dressed, and I'll show you." 

Lily returned the stick and ran back to her clothes, digging until she found the first red shirt she'd purchased. Tossing it on her bed, she slipped on a pair of pants first, hopping in place to get them over her hips without untying the waist before stripping off her sleeping shirt and pulling on the red one. 

Vevi waited by Lily's mirror with the same red-tipped stick and its partner that Lily had picked out before, and Lily rushed over to stand before her reflection. "These will keep your hair up off your neck and out of your face, though they aren't really meant for too much movement, so they might come loose while you spar..." Vevi put the sticks in her mouth so she could gather Lily's hair with both hands, speaking around them, "Your hair's so warm..." she actually held Lily's hair up to her cheek and sighed, making Lily giggle. 

"Okay, so all you have to do is twist..." Vevi demonstrated, twisting Lily's hair until all of it was a tight spiral then continued twisting until it folded upon itself at the back of her head, "Tuck the end in, then take your sticks and slide them through some of the hair on your scalp then the bun, then back through the scalp again... There!" she let go of Lily's bun with only one stick in place, and Lily gasped as it stayed up. 

Lily turned her head back and forth to examine her hair in the mirror, but Vevi wasn't quite done yet, "One is enough, but it will be more stable with two, just do the same thing with the other side." she grabbed Lily's bun to stop her from moving and stabbed the stick through the other side creating an X across the back of Lily's head. 

"It's so pretty!" Lily clapped her hands, beaming at Vevi through the mirror, "Why would you ever cut your hair when you have these?" 

Vevi laughed, then pulled the sticks from Lily's hair, letting it tumble down once more, "It's nice not to have to bother," she explained, passing the sticks to Lily, "Now you try." 

It took Lily a few tries to get the bun tight enough that it didn't slip out as soon as she put the sticks in, but when she managed it, she clapped her hands again and twisted her head back and forth, fast, but not so fast that it came loose, "This is amazing! Thank you so much Vevi, I don't know..." Lily trailed off then held her finger in the air, "A book! A new one in that series about the sexy shapeshifters came out last week. I'll get it for you!" 

"Oh, Lily, you don't have to..." Vevi started, but Lily moved her finger forward, placing it just over the Mage's lips, close enough to silence her but not quite touching enough to burn.

"You've given me so much, and not just a box full of treasures! I want to give you something too." 

The door cracked open, and Han knocked as he slipped his head in, "Gifts are always best when exchanged." he grinned at the ladies and saluted to Lily, "Sorry for the intrusion, Lily, I figured it was safe when I heard voices."

Lily rushed forward, pulling the door out of his hand, then spinning to put her back to him, "Look! Vevi gave me hair sticks!" 

"Quite lovely. And they match your scales." Han reached out to gently prod one scarlet tip, "The decorations are nearly done throughout the city. I honestly assumed you would be out in the thick of it by now."

"Decorations?" Lily asked, tilting her head at the Battlemage as she reached up to make sure he hadn't messed up her hair. 

Vevi moved around to stand beside Han and blink at Lily, "It's Winter Solstice, Lily," 

Lily shifted her head to the other side, "So?"

"It's one of the biggest holidays in the kingdom," Han explained, "Spring Equinox is full of ceremonies and such, and Summer Solstice and Autumn Equinox are mostly for harvests and religious observation. But Winter Solstice is pure fun! There will be performers and dancing and food stalls from all over the kingdom lining the streets!" he threw his hands in the air, "It's the longest night of the year, and every minute of it is spent partying! Most people can hardly sleep on Solstice morning."

Lily watched his hands wave in his excitement and was finally starting to feel a tingle of some herself, "You mean holidays like that are real?" she asked, "It's not just something from stories? And everyone celebrates? Not just the nobles in fancy boring balls?"

Han and Vevi nodded in unison and Lily whooped, jumping in the air and spinning a full circle, "We have to go now! I can't believe I slept the morning away! I need to get Vevi her book, and I want to see the dancers. I've never danced before, oh wow!" She sprinted past the Mages and out her still open door but spun in the hall and ran right back in, "I need my money... Oh! and my papers... wait..." she stopped, turning back to the laughing pair, "Do they celebrate at Hamerfoss too? Do you think I could go back and spend the holiday with the Squires next year?" 

"Um?" Vevi looked to Han for an answer, but he just shrugged,

"I don't see why they wouldn't at least have a feast..." he said, "We can ask someone from the Temple today. They'll be out patrolling the streets as usual." 

"If so, then I don't see why we can't make a special trip next year. It is a holiday after all..." Vevi added, making Lily whoop in excitement again.

***

Lily had never imagined anything as amazing as the city decked out for the Winter Solstice. Every building and pole was decorated with evergreen wreaths and garlands tied with red bows. The people walked around in their finest clothes, and every face seemed to be glowing with every positive emotion, from contentment to excitement. Even though the sun hadn't fully set yet, lights still decorated every stall, some of the more expensive of which had magical colored flames dancing in glass globes hanging from their awnings. 

Smells of sweets and succulent meats filled the air and Lily sprinted from one food stall to another, lamenting her limited funds but trying anything that was only a copper or two. She was definitely starting to see the appeal of spending at least some of her money on real food. 

Han trailed behind but always kept her in view and was never too far away. Particularly when the city guard or their Paladin officers were nearby. Lily noticed that was when Han always made sure to be within arms reach. He even rested a hand -complete with anti-fire ring- on her shoulder whenever he spotted a Paladin amongst the enlisted soldiers. 

Lily enjoyed the contact and happy atmosphere too much to allow the obvious implications to bother her. Not today. Especially not after she asked the first Paladin they saw and found out that not only did they celebrate Winter Solstice at Hamerfoss, but they also had guests from two of the nearby villages come to dance and feast. Meaning she was definitely going to find a way to return there the following year. Even if she had to walk the entire way. 

The pair made their way down towards the commoners' district, where Han promised her the real fun was. Lily was just about to ask where the dancing would be when a gasp from a nearby crowd pulled her attention away from her question. Looking towards the circle of people, Lily's next question was answered before she could ask when a girl flew into the air over the watchers' heads, spinning and flipping as she rose then fell again.

Lily gasped with the rest of the crowd and ran ahead, weaving her way between the onlookers -who flinched away from her heat- to the front of the press of people. A group of four performers, two adults and two teenagers roughly her age stood in the center of the wide circle. They appeared to be a family, with the two women wearing silver costumes and the two men gold. They jumped and flipped around and over each other, twisting their bodies in ways Lily hadn't thought possible and moving with a grace she'd never imagined. They seemed to spend as much time in the air as on the ground and stood on their hands with the same ease they did on their feet. 

"Oh wow..." Lily breathed, transfixed by the tumblers, and hardly noticing when Han managed to make his way to her and rest his hand on her head. 

"You need to stay close, Lily..." he whispered in her ear. 

"How do they do that!" Lily asked excitedly as the women were once again thrown into the air by the men to flip past each other and be caught by opposite partners. 

Han chuckled in her ear, "Same as everything else anyone does. Lots and lots of practice." 

The show came to a close, and the four performers bowed, while the crowd clapped and tossed coins into a sack that lay open on the ground. Lily watched them with a furrowed brow, and Han fished in his bag for a few coins, explaining, "Public performers earn their wage from donations, Lily. If you liked the show, you should toss them a few coins." 

Desperately Lily pat at her bag, then reached in and fished out a full silver. Rushing forward, she dropped the coin in the bag, now nearly full of copper and silver, then resumed clapping. She lamented not being able to give more while most of the onlookers were already moving away. 

"You were so beautiful!" Lily exclaimed to the family as the crowd dispersed. The older two exchanged smiles and bowed gracefully again. The girl blushed at Lily's enthusiasm, but the boy grinned and stepped closer to her. 

Resting one hand on his hip, he ran his other through his short tousled hair and said, "Not nearly as beautiful as yourself," He winked and Lily tilted her head while behind him the girl rolled her eyes.

"But I haven't done..." Lily started, then smacked her head in realization, "Oh! You're flirting, aren't you? Well, I'm flattered but I'm not interested in sex. Just your skills, can you teach me?" 

The boy slapped both hands over his heart and fell back a step, stumbling dramatically as though Lily had punched him in the chest, "Right to the core, lovely lady!" 

The girl, most definitely his sister considering the resemblance, hit him upside the head and spoke to Lily, "Please don't be offended m'lady, Ron flirts with anyone with a pulse and two legs to spread wide..." She shot a glare at her brother, then looked back to Lily and covered her mouth quickly before stuttering, "Not that you aren't beautiful! I just mean... um..." 

"Smooth, Ren, smooth..." Ron groaned loudly. 

Lily shifted her focus to the girl and tilted her head to the other side, "Why would I be offended at a compliment?" she asked, but then shook her head and continued back to the subject that really mattered, "You two are the ones who were so lovely! I've never seen anyone move like that before, so graceful and strong and just... wow! Do you think I could learn? Would you teach me?" 

Ren and Ron exchanged looks, and the two older performers, probably their parents, approached curiously. Behind them, a few stragglers continued to drop coins in their bag. The father spoke first, "Why would you want to learn tumbling? Performing may look glamorous, but I assure you it's not what you think." 

"Lily..." Han whispered behind her, but she spoke over him, 

"I don't know if I could ever be good enough to perform like you. But just to be able to do even half of what you did? It was amazing!" 

"So you're a hobbyist?" the mother asked, a slight frown crossing her face. 

Lily furrowed her brow at the woman, "I don't know what that means... I'm an experiment and a Sorcerer..."

"You're not an experiment, Lily-" Han tried to interrupt her, but she kept talking over him, 

"I've already trained my magic, but I'm training my body with the quarterstaff. I don't know if I'll ever be as amazing as you physically, but I wouldn't really be putting in the effort if I didn't at least try, would I?" 

Ron chuckled, "Your body seems perfect as is..."

"Ron. Not now." his mother snapped at him, and his mouth snapped shut. 

The father hummed, crossing his arms, and continued to address Lily, "And what would be in it for us, m'lady?" Why did they keep addressing her like that? Behind them, a skinny man in brown leaned all the way down to place some coins directly in the open bag.

Something about the man had Lily keeping half an eye on him. Still, she kept talking, desperate to learn what this family could do so easily, "I can pay you. Four silver a week."

"Four silver?" the father sounded dubious. 

"I only get five, and I still want to save some, but I can give you all of that after I have enough for at least shirts every day of the week and my staff."

The mother ran her eyes over Lily, examining her clothing a bit more carefully, "You only have five silver a week?"

Han cleared his throat and spoke up, "Lily is a ward of the Guild and Provence and only gets a small stipend..." 

But the man in brown started walking away, and Lily yelled, "Hey! Give that back!"

The thief looked over his shoulder, and meeting Lily's eyes, started moving faster. The family's bag of earnings held tight in his hand.

Lily ran after him. 

"Lily!" Han yelled, but she kept running, a growl growing in her chest. The thief wove between the crowd of gathered celebrators, but Lily pushed right past them, taking advantage of her heat to send them stumbling away from her touch. He started to jog, glancing over his shoulder as he went and ducking into a darkened side road with fewer people. Lily followed, but as the crowd thinned, the man broke into a sprint. 

Hissing, she tried to keep up, but he was faster and heading towards another busy street. If she didn't catch him soon, she'd lose him in the throng. With another growl, Lily swept her arm around from behind her to before her, a trail of fire following her fingers and shooting out to trail along the wall and past the thief. The flame streaked across the road between the last two buildings and exploded into a wall of fire, blocking the road and licking towards the man. He slid to a stop, falling on the ground and scrambling away on his butt. 

People beyond the firewall screamed, but Lily had reached her prey. She grabbed the thin man by the front of his shirt and, wrenching him up, slammed him against the wall, "Give it back." she snarled in his face. 

On the other side of the firewall, people continued to yell, and an authoritative voice called out above the rest, "Stand back!" and began a chant, more like a prayer than any spell she'd heard before.

Her fire disappeared, and the clinking and clanking of armor and hiss of swords leaving sheaths replaced its crackling roar. "Help!" the thief tried to call out, but Lily pulled him forward and slammed him back again to silence him. 

"Give it back!" she ordered again. 

The city guard circled Lily and the thief, holding their short swords at the ready. The thief was sweating profusely. Lily considered touching his skin instead of his shirt but decided to save that tactic for if he continued to refuse to give back the stolen earnings. 

"Unhand him." that same commanding voice sounded to Lily's right, and she felt the magic of the Command wash over her.

She shook her head, gritting her teeth and resisting with all her might, "He stole the tumbler's money..." she hissed past her tight jaw.

"Lily!" Han shouted from down the alley, jogging to reach her and shouldering past the guards to grab her shoulder. "What did you do?" 

Lily pulled her glare away from the thief to look at the guards around her, finally landing on the Paladin who had dispelled her fire and given the magic command, "He stole their money." She explained, "I caught him for you." She let go and stepped away from the thief, his shirt crumpled and singed. 

"You're a Sorcerer." -it wasn't a question- "Where is your clearance?" The Paladin held out his hand expectantly, and Lily looked from his palm back to the thief as one of the guards came forward and took him by the arms while another pat him down.

Only when they found the bag of coins did Lily open her mouth to answer, but Han spoke first, "She doesn't have it yet, but I assure you..." 

"And you're her escort?" the Paladin interrupted. Han's mouth snapped shut, and he nodded. "And where were you, Mage, when she lost control and lit my city on fire?" Han blanched.

Lily stepped between them, glaring at the Paladin, "I didn't lose control. I stopped him from getting away." 

"Without Clearance, magic..." The Knight started, but Lily continued over him,

"The ground and walls aren't even singed. I lit the fire in the air around them, not on them. Stop freaking out over nothing and give that money back to the tumblers. They worked really hard for-"

"Lily, enough," Han said sharply, grabbing her by the shoulder and pulling her back. 

The Paladin sniffed and jerked his head towards the road, "Too little too late, Mage. Come with me." Lily opened her mouth to argue again, but Han squeezed her shoulder while the Paladin ordered the guards to return the money and take the thief to the Temple. 

He started leading them away, and Lily whispered in a rushed hiss to Han, "I didn't burn anything; I just stopped..."

"Enough." Han interrupted her again, squeezing her a little tighter and steering her after the Paladin. The crowd parted before the Knight, leaving them a clear path back to the Guild. 

*** 

Lily resisted arguing all the way back to the Guild tower, but once they were through the door, Vevi exclaimed from the atrium, "Lily? What happened?" and Lily's resistance snapped. 

"Nothing!" Lily shouted, throwing Han off her shoulder and spinning towards the Paladin, "I caught a thief and didn't even burn the ground, but this one is treating me like the villain!" 

"Oh, Lily..." Vevi breathed. 

Lily didn't blink as the Paladin glared down his nose at her, "The unauthorized use of magic by a Sorcerer without clearance..." 

"I had complete control! Nothing was damaged, no one was hurt, not even the actual bad guy! It wasn't like you were going to catch..." But a wash of magic rolled over her again, and she was cut off, unable to resist this time. She continued to rant, but her words were completely silenced by the Paladin's spell. Lily's eyes went wide, and her lip curled in a snarl no one could hear as she shouted every profanity she could imagine at the Knight.

"As I was saying," the Paladin continued calmly, "The unauthorized use of magic by a Sorcerer without clearance is a very serious matter. Because nothing was damaged and no one is hurt, the Temple will leave the bulk of the discipline up to the Guild. However, the Sorcerer and escort will be confined to the Guild tower until such time as the Temple sees fit to give them another chance. A fine of one hundred gold and a full report of the Sorcerer's training progress will be required by tomorrow morning, given the holiday. If it cannot be paid in full, then a tattoo..."

Lily screamed in silence, and Vevi hurried to say, "We will pay, of course, you can take it now." she waved down a passing journeyman, whispering to him and sending him running up to the living quarters.

One hundred gold. It would take Lily two hundred weeks to save up enough for that fine, and he expected her to have it right away? And why was Han being punished?

She clenched her fists tight enough that she was sure her nails would cut into her palm if she didn't loosen them soon. She focused on keeping her power in check as rage built in her chest and her eyes burned with frustrated unshed tears.

As Vevi and Han continued to make apologies to reassure the Paladin, Lily spun again, walking with jerky movements for the receptionist. The young Mage on duty stared wide-eyed at her but Lily just growled -still silenced- and took his ledger. Flipping to the back page, she jerked the quill from his fingers, damaging the feather but not caring at all as she wrote, marching back to Vevi, Han, and the Paladin. 

She held the book up between them so she couldn't continue being ignored. Her note was scrawled in large letters taking up the entire page, 'I want to take the clearance exam.' 

"But Lily-" Vevi started, but Lily snapped her fingers -even that being silenced- and ripped the page out, writing in all capitals on the new page, 'NOW.' 

"Lily-" Han started, but Lily slammed her palm on the book then threw it on the ground to land face up. She could still make her fire, she didn't need words for her spells like a Mage, and yet with all her might, she resisted setting the ground alight with her fury. 

The Paladin looked from Lily to the Mages and shook his head, "This is a Guild matter. Have the fine and report sent to the Temple." he bowed to them all, then turned to leave. Before he took his first step, he turned back and picked up the book, returning it to the receptionist, then left the tower. 

As the door closed, Han started chanting, and the silence lifted. Lily hissed, glaring at Vevi and saying only, "Now." 

Vevi sighed, her shoulders slumping, "Very well, Lily. I will let the others know. Continue your daily activities until we summon you." Lily narrowed her eyes at the Mage. When she'd said 'now,' she meant right now, and thought that had been clear. Vevi seemed to understand and shook her head, explaining, "It's not the kind of test you can just take and be done. It's already started Lily, just go about your days." 

Lily huffed, her anger still fuming but the shouting rage kept smothered. She reached for her bag, dug out the last of her meager silver and copper, and held it out to Vevi. The woman waved it away, stepping back.

Han spoke up, "No, Lily, keep your money. It was our fault for not explaining the consequences clearly." 

The tower door opened again, but the Mages' refusal to take her money had set Lily off, "There shouldn't be consequences when nothing happened!" Lily shouted, "I caught the thief and nothing was damaged. Those tumblers worked hard for that money, and those damn guards didn't even notice! And why are you in trouble? Did they expect me to just stand by and let-" 

"Um..." a nervous hum sounded from the side and Lily turned sharply, ready to snap the head off the next person who thought to interrupt, only to find the tumbler teens standing nervously in their silver and gold costumes. "We wanted to thank you, m'lady. And to tell you that we would love to teach you some tumbles... after you get your clearance..." the girl said.

The frustrated, angry tears finally started flowing, and Lily threw her hands into the air, "I can't afford it... I'm sorry, I have to pay this fine and..."

"Lily, you don't have to." Vevi tried to assure her again. 

Ren moved towards Lily and actually pat her on the shoulder, or tried to. She pulled away quickly, and Lily choked back a sob, "I'm sorry, I'm too hot to tou-" But knowing what to expect now, Ren reached up with her thumb and gently brushed a tear off Lily's cheek. 

"We don't need your money," the girl explained softly, "That was really brave of you m'lady, he could've had a weapon or friends, and you went after him on your own,"

Lily sniffed, "I can take care of myself." 

Ron smiled behind his sister, "We noticed, but still." he shrugged, "We really don't need the money, but I know mom won't say no to some help with chores if you really want to pay. Maybe you could heat the water and run the stove?" He took a moment to look Lily over again, letting his eyes trail very slowly from her feet to her face, "I know I would love to see you in an apron... just an apron." 

"Seriously, Ron? Now?" Ren shot at her brother. But Lily giggled. 

Ron smirked, winking at Lily, "See, maybe I do have a chance after all." he said, making Lily giggle again.

Sniffing and wiping her face with the heels of her hands Lily said, "Not really, you can't touch me either." Only one could, and he was the only one she could think about in that way, no matter how much she'd tried to branch out her fantasies recently, "But I don't mind the flirting. Maybe I can learn a thing or two about that too?" 

"Sounds like fun," Ron answered, "and who knows, maybe I will still have a chance. Tumbling makes us very flexible..." 

Han groaned, "A bit forceful, don't you think, lad?"

But Ron just shrugged, grinning wickedly, "She's smiling now, isn't she?"

"Like you have room to talk," Vevi snarked, elbowing Han in the ribs and making Lily laugh for real. 

She sniffed one last time and turned back to the Mages, "I'm sorry I caused you trouble, but I'm not sorry for doing it, and I'm sorry for that at least..." even as she said it, she realized it didn't make any sense, "so... sorry for not being sorry I guess..." Vevi just sighed again, shaking her head. 

Han -protected by his fire resist ring- pat Lily's head without flinching, "It's not exactly alright, Lily, but you really did show a lot of power and some amazing control. You should have no problem with your clearance." 

"We perform in the square of the merchant's district every Soldag at fifth bell. Come find us once you have your clearance." Ren said. 

Lily nodded, "I'll be there."

***

Not being allowed to leave the tower until further notice, Lily retreated back to her room alone. She hadn't even managed to get Vevi her present before being grounded for who knew how long. And even though she'd met some new people, maybe even future treasures, the entire day seemed tainted by the aftermath. Han wasn't allowed to leave either, and apparently, his stipend would be suspended for the duration of their confinement as well. If anything, he was in more trouble than Lily, and that just made things worse. 

As Lily's door clicked closed behind her, her heart took a moment to get its own kick in by skipping a beat in fear. She spun back to make sure it hadn't locked. It hadn't, but it didn't make her feel any less trapped. Confined in a tower full of Mages yet again. 

The setting sun cast an orange glow over her room through the open window, and Lily made her way there. At least this was different. Here she could sit by the window and look out at the sky above the buildings. She pulled her new hair sticks out and let the golden strands fall loose about her shoulders, staring at the stars as they slowly blinked into view with the growing night. 

She tried to imagine what the celebration below would be like now that it had grown dark. The lights were probably twinkling like the stars in their glass balls as the people continued to shop and mingle and dance. She had no experience to even try and compare it to. The thought made her want to cry. 

Blinking back tears, Lily imagined instead what the Squires might be doing. Thinking it would hurt less since nothing she'd done today would keep her from experiencing that this year anyway. In her mind, she saw the fortress courtyard decked out in lights and garlands like the city streets, while each of her Squires mingled and laughed as they did at dinner. Even in her imagination Shon sat alone, at a small round table, Ryuuko perched on his shoulder as they watched the others talk. With a sigh, she tried to imagine herself sitting next to him, enjoying the quiet companionship without having to speak to the others when her heart wasn't in it. 

Turning away from the window, Lily moved for her desk and took out her new letter, already a page full with the last few days of input. Turning it over, she dated the top but hesitated to put pen to paper. The day had started so wonderfully, and even later had some good notes -with the tumblers agreeing to teach her. Yet none of that was what she could think about now. Just her empty room and inability to leave the tower...

'Shon. I don't know if you plan on sharing my letters with the others, I would be glad if you do, but this bit is just for you...'

She told him what had happened and tried to explain how she felt. Trapped, guilty, and yet not, at the same time. Happy with the morning but so angry and frustrated with the evening that she couldn't even smile at the memory of her gifts or the tumblers' show. 

'I told them I want to take my exam now, even if they think it's too early. I won't really be free until I can stop being afraid every time I need to use my power, or someone snaps their fingers. Wish me luck? I'll try and cheer up a bit tomorrow so I can better express the good things that happened today. 

I miss you... I miss being able to sit with you at night and think without feeling like the last few months have been nothing more than a dream, and I'm really still sleeping in the basement of my tower. I hope to come see you all next year. By then, I will definitely have my clearance and will be allowed to leave without an escort whenever I want. 

Until then, don't forget about me? If you remember me, then this definitely isn't a dream.'