The Scarlet Ashes
Following
Table of Contents
Preface Introduction Chapter 1: Again Chapter 2: Lie Low Chapter 3: Memory Chapter 4: The Last First Date Chapter 5: Gemma Chapter 6: The Red Room Chapter 7: A Second Date Chapter 8: Reunion Chapter 9: Answers Chapter 10: Fake Skin Chapter 11: The Lirwetz Rite (NSFW) Chapter 12: A Promise Chapter 13: The Red Miles Chapter 14: Blackout Chapter 15: Suits Chapter 16: Quandary Chapter 17: Threshold Chapter 18: The First Library Chapter 19: The Scarlet Arts Chapter 20: The Temptation Chapter 21: Monster Chapter 22: The House of Cards Chapter 23: Retreat Chapter 24: The Passion Chapter 25: A Quick Breath Chapter 26: The Estate Chapter 27: Arcana Discordia Chapter 28: The Call of Eris Chapter 29: A Vision Chapter 30: The Catalyst Chapter 31: Cascade/Collapse Chapter 33: The Final Theorem Chapter 34: Jynx Chapter 35: The Lost Lovers Chapter 36: Damon Chapter 37: Theodore Klein Chapter 32: The Red Dive and Black Shores Chapter 38: Profanity Chapter 39: Schrödinger's Bullet Chapter 40: Gáe Bulg Chapter 41: Arcana Tempus Chapter 42: A Need To Misbehave Chapter 43: The Cult Chapter 44: The Scarlet Ashes Chapter 45: Schism Chapter 46: Blood and DiscordFind your way!
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by 3 Armored Kittens · Prodromos v.1.1 - World Anvil 0.9.15.009 © 2017-2024 [en] | Anvil Time: 11:15, May 6 2024
Sorry I've gotten slower in responding to your posts as I am trying my hardest to keep up but you're working faster. This chapter is great. There are just a few small things: there are a few typos, most of the formatting typo like a space here or there, and the shortness of the chapter is a bit more obvious in this case. Previously, it was countered by the mind-boggling action. This time, however, it is a tad bit more obvious as there is little actual progression. It does fine, however, I would continue to be wary of making chapters contain too little action. I'd say the give away that this may be a bit too slow, even during the exposition, is that you have so few dialogue tags. While this is normally a good thing, in this case, it shows that around 90% of the entire chapter is just dialogue between the characters with the occasional reminder as to who is speaking. There's no actual action and, while this style is useful in shorter works, it stood out to me in this chapter specifically. In any case, it was still an interesting read.
I hate this chapter. I'm honestly thinking of breaking it up and seeding it into others. I know what you mean and thanks for being honest. I need that. As far as your speed, dude. Your perfectly fine. I'm working quick, but I don't expect a quick response. I also want to make sure to spot you back as well. Don't want that backing up. so ur perfectly fine. Thanks so much.