Not in Education, Employment, or Training.
Basically, you are a mooch, a sponge, a drain on society. Any meaningful task you set your mind to is quickly abandoned and the would-be results are forgotten like an exceptionally mediocre passing of gas on a windy day. The only way your parents got you to move out was by literally burning down their own house as you rolled out the door at the last minute. If you had any ambition at all you might have been offered the beggar class but that would require you to have the slightest bit of charisma. The only thing that gives your life meaning is your stupid hobby. What is it? Collecting figurines with someone else's money? Maybe you are SUPER into reading and know all there is about heroes of the past... but being a librarian is too much work so you just whine until someone loans it to you and after you are done you pawn it off to get lunch. Truely scum.
This is a legendary class, meaning if you take this class you will lose all levels and stats gained from your current class and be returned to level one. normally I would say don't worry because legendary classes catch up fast... But this is also a cursed class. If you accept this class you will most likely die before you accomplish anything. The abilities are weak and overly situational, and to make it worse you cannot take another class or even sub-classes unless they are hobby based. However... commitment to being lazy is still a commitment, right? Perhaps... nope you suck.
hit dice:
1d2-1
hit points at 1st level:
Either 4 or 5. Your choice.
hit points at higher levels:
1d2-1+Constitution modifier.
armor proficiencies:
Pajamas
weapon proficiencies:
daggars
tools:
none
saving throws:
None
skills:
Choose one. You lose all other skills from any source and cannot gain more through training or educaion.
starting equipment:
Any three items that have a combined value of 50gp or less.
spellcasting:
Magic would be super convenient... But it actually requires training or talent to use. So no.
class features:
Listless Existence.
Okay, so that class description was a bit hard. You might not contribute to society or pursue dreams like everyone around you seems to do. But you didn't ask to be a part of this world right? It is totally unreasonable to be born without consent and then be expected to live like other people want you to right? Oh, you want to know what this ability does? This doesn't do anything I just wanted you to know that no matter what anyone says, you have the right, no, the duty, to live your life the way you want to.
But just so we are clear that there are no advantages to taking this class; lose all racial and background benefits and abilities.
Lazy Action.
You can only be bothered to actually try at things so many times a day. Starting at 1st level you gain a pool of Effort points. that is how many times per day you may make a roll. If you run out of points or simply do not want to roll you may instead take a 2 plus modifier. Starting at the 6th level (not likely you will make it there) you may instead take 6 plus modifiers. Starting at the 11th level you may instead take 12 plus modifiers. You gain back all your points after a long rest. This counts for saving throws, attacks, skill checks, damage rolls, or even if you are just playing with your dice.
Hobby.
Being alive is kinda boring but dying is super inconvenient. You may take one tool proficiency. However, it is limited to one that no other player has, and cannot make armor, weapons, damage dealing items, or magic items. I would highly suggest cobblers tools. However, anything you make with this is considered extremely poor quality and no one wants the products. You may gift one of your creations to a non-hostile creature causing them to roll 1d100. On a 1 they will be offered the NEET class, although they have no obligation to take it. On a 100 they will become murderously enraged and will attempt to kill you. Anything else they will awkwardly decline and pretend like that interaction didn't happen.
Pampered.
You demand the finest out of life even if you don't deserve it. Starting at the 4th level if you sleep for 12 hours a day, have 8 full meals a day, are able to engage in your hobby for 6 hours a day, and have not taken any damage in the last 7 days then you are in an especially good mood. Then one time on the 7th day you may add 1 to any one roll you make for every unspent effort point. Afterward, you will lose all of your rolls for that day. This may only be done once every 7 days.
Depressed.
Life sucks. Your stomach hurts from eating too much and trying to pamper yourself. You have been working too hard on a hobby that no one cares about. Especially you. You have been rolling dice and putting effort into things that in the end just don't matter. Sleep would be nice but you feel guilty for sleeping even in your dreams. Maybe... no that would cause even more problems for other people. It would be great if you didn't play this character anymore. In the end, you made a self-serving decision to make a joke character or express yourself somehow, but really your just making everyone have less fun. You don't contribute in combat, you have like 4 HP, you constantly need to take extra time on your turn to do anything worthwhile or just sit in the back eating and trying to be quirky, but really your just annoying, and everyone knows it. How the hell has anyone tolerated your unmotivated selfish choice to play this? Your party has done everything so far! They kill the mobs, they cast the spells, and they even drag your useless ass around and make sure you are taken care of so you can use your one redeeming skill and have a tinny bit of fun. It's only because you have really good friends that you are still alive... huh. Imagine that. This is a lost cause, just give up. Lose the ability to speak any languages until the 6th level.
Purpose.
That may have been a bit dramatic. Are you feeling better now? Maybe not but you are still here so let's have some fun. Starting at the 6th level you may use the tools from your hobby gear as improvised weapons that deal 1d6 dmg. In addition, the products made from your hobby can be sold for 1/2 the normal price, if given as a gift they will now cause them to roll 1d100. The effects for 1 and 100 are the same as before, however, if they roll below 50 they will accept the gift and you will have advantage on charisma rolls against them for the rest of the day. If they roll above 50 they will decline the gift and you will have disadvantage on charisma rolls against them for the rest of the day.
Try Again.
Starting at the 8th level you may use 1 effort point to re-roll any dice roll. You must take the new number though. Seems like those effort points come in handy. Keep up the good work
Knowledgeable.
Starting at the 9th level you gain the perception and investigation skills. In addition, if you spend 4 or more hours of time reaching a subject you gain the skill proficiency associated with that topic for one day if you fail a check using that skill though you will lose it until you spend the time studying again.
Anxiety.
You knew this would happen. You are useless once again and making everyone else pick up the slack. Sure your DM might let you skip this level. Or even give you two levels with some magical crap. But I'll fix that for you right now. Starting at the 10th level you may not gain any experience for the next 100 long rests, no magic may accelerate this, and no levels may be given until this time goes by no matter what. You know what the DM might just rewrite the class to take this away or make it more balanced. So I will reference this ability for all of your next abilities, to remind you if you cheat. There. You knew that eventually you would be a drain on your friends and now is that time. They got you through it last time because they are good people, but that doesn't mean their patience lasts forever. Starting at the 10th level every time you expend an effort point you deduct 1 from the next roll that an ally makes, this stacks up to 5 times and you must expend all your effort points every day or you may not take a long rest thorough any means. Yes, you are a bother. You are making things hard on everyone and I suggest your roll up another character right now.
Courage.
Glad that is over. I hope you are here after a good long time of being a bother to other people and being forced into uncomfortable situations. That is how people grow. Starting at the 11th level the effect of using an effort point is reversed giving up to a +5 on the next roll an ally makes. In addition gain 1 max HP for every long rests under the effects of the last skill up to 50 HP. You no longer have to use all of your effort points to take a long rest.
Professional Hobbyist.
Starting at the 12th level products you sell from your hobby kit are considered good work so long as they are completed. You may sell them for market or slightly above market price. In addition, you may choose who is affected by anxiety's roll penalty and distribute points as you see fit, the roll adjustment is all ways used on their next roll though. Only allies or friendly NPCs are valid targets.
Attacks made with your hobby tools now deal up to 1d8 dmg on hit, and you may attack the same creature twice with one action when wielding them.
Effective Effort.
Starting at the 13th level you may use effort points in a variety of ways. Choose one use for effort points now and an additional use at the 17th level.
- Extra damage: On hit, you may expend effort points to deal that much extra damage up to your level in NEET plus 1 for every ally affected by anxiety's roll adjustment.
- Extra toughness: When you are hit by an attack or damaging spell you may expend effort points to subtract that much damage up to your level in NEET plus 1 for every ally affected by anxiety's roll adjustment.
- Extra accuracy: When you roll for an attack you may expend effort points to add that much to your roll up to your level in NEET plus 1 for every ally affected by anxiety's roll adjestment.
- Restful Respite: When the party takes a long rest they may roll an additional hit die if they are affected by anxiety's roll adjustment and you may heal for an amount equal to the lowest amount any single ally healed for during the short rest.
Expert Hobbyist.
Starting at the 17th level when selling your products you may multiply their price by .5 for every ally under the effect of anxiety's roll adjustment. In addition, your attacks with your chosen hobby equipment are considered magical and you may attack the same creature three times with one action if you are using your hobby equipment.
Imitation
Starting at the 18th level you gain the ability to copy one of your ally's abilities for one hour once a day. To do this you must observe the ability you want to copy for 1 min or one full use. This cannot be a spell or a racial trait only a class ability. If you need proficiencies to use the skill you may temporarily gain the necessary proficiencies. You may only imitate one ability at a time.
Imposter
So you used this imitation ability to gain the powers of your friends huh? Nice work, really good job. They put in all the work and you get the benefits. Not only did they support you and get you here but they even overlooked you being unable to contribute in the way they needed. But after all that you take the easy way and steal their hard work? No, I'm not going to let you do that. Starting at the 19th level whenever you use the initiation ability you lose 1 max HP, this cannot reduce you to below 10 HP. That is the minimum price to use their abilities. But there is some karma in order as well. Starting at the 19th level the maximum stacks for anxiety is doubled and every time your allies make a roll you will gain a stack of anxiety that is not affected by courage. You really should have just stayed in your lane.
Resolve
You made it. You defeated depression, weaponized anxiety, and now you have accepted yourself as an imposter. We all play a character, it's not like your friends invented their abilities. Even the people who did invent things just took what they knew from other places and kinda mashed it together. Monkey see monkey do. Your character may not seem like it's entirely you, I sure hope it isn't. But that's okay, you don't have to pretend you are someone else to be worth others' time, but you don't have to feel guilty for imitating what you see either. The call of the void, empathy, and even the duality of man. these are not signs of a shattered psyche, rather they are part of being human. Starting at the 20th level gain 2 max HP for every HP lost from the Imposert ability after a long rest. In addition, reverse the effects of anxiety stacks on yourself. You deserve it.
subclass options:
| Level | Proficiency | Feature | Effort |
|---|
| 1 | 0 | Listless Existence, Lazy Action | 10 |
| 2 | 0 | | 12 |
| 3 | 0 | Hobby | 14 |
| 4 | +1 | Pampered | 16 |
| 5 | -1 | Depressed | 5 |
| 6 | +2 | Purpose | 20 |
| 7 | +2 | | 25 |
| 8 | +2 | Ability Score Improvement, Try Again | 30 |
| 9 | +3 | Knowlageable | 35 |
| 10 | -2 | Anxiety | 20 |
| 11 | +3 | Courage | 50 |
| 12 | +3 | Ability Score Improvement | 60 |
| 13 | +4 | Professional Hobbiest | 70 |
| 14 | +4 | Effective Effort | 80 |
| 15 | +4 | | 90 |
| 16 | +5 | Ability Score Improvement | 100 |
| 17 | +5 | Expert Hobbyist | 120 |
| 18 | +6 | | 140 |
| 19 | -5 | Imposter | 50 |
| 20 | 0 | Primordial Hero | 250 |
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