New Year's Eve 24/25

"Happy fucking new year!" I answer annoyed to the others' cheer. I don't feel much like cheering, but I'm so fucking done with the old year. Everything looked so promising when it started - now colors are grey and their joy makes me angry. How can they smile so shortly after what transpired?

"Come on, Al, tell us something that you're thankful for!" Zeldine blurts out, trying to keep the mood up. "Just anything!"

"That this year is over soon," I sulk and take a big sip of my drink.

"I'll drink to that," Kass says, joining in.

"Yeah, okay, so this year sucked all the way through, but we made it, girls!" Zel goes on ever cheerful. "And you both made it through your first Fey Mood! That means you're scot-free for a good chunk of years now, right? I mean, that makes me happy to know at least!"

"How do you do that? Always find your way to the one good thing? I want to be happy, but I just... can't find it in me. Not when I know she is not with us anymore..." I stop speaking as my throat tightens and decide to flush it down with more alcohol.

"It's the only way to stay afloat! And I have to stay afloat... for Noodle!" she says heading over to the terrarium and picking up my beautiful iguanna. "Look at that sad face - he's so sad he can't cheer you up with happy words of comfort. But he wants to be held like a good support lizard."

"Aww, Noodles. I'm sorry I'm such a mess," I say as I recieve him and hold him tight but carefully. "I guess I have been neglecting him a bit these days."

"There you go. Ally, your sadness affects those around you - like little Noodle here. And of course you can be sad - and should be sad - what happened was terrible! Just don't get lost in that sadness, okay?"

"Yeah," I reply, looking at Noodle, looking every bit the peanut brain he is. "Yeah, I'll try... for Noodle."