Chapter 1: How things went horribly wrong

General Summary

I took the wrong smuggling job, that’s how this all started. My partner, Alfred, and I attempted to deliver a crate of distilled carrots, a highly prized alcoholic beverage in the barony when the town watch caught up to us. Given the choice between a noose and enlisting, we decided to take the better part of valor and signed up.
The war did not go well. You could say it went the very opposite of well as we lost and my surviving squad mates and I were sent to hike our way back home with little more than the clothes on our back and a handful of change. I could ask for better companions.

First, there is my partner Alfred, he’s a walking cat. You read that right, yes a rabbit and a cat are best friends, there is nothing unnatural about that. Don’t look at me that way. He has gotten me out of more scratches than he has gotten me into and that is all that matters.

Next, we have the two kobolds, but lest you think they knew each other before they were both press ganged into this war, no of course not. Ash escaped from dwarven slavery with nothing but a few scars and a bone flute. Skald on the other hand, he grew up on a farm, where his Mom read him bedtime stories about knights and saving damsels in distress. Apparently, he read one too many stories because he seems to think he’s a knight. I don’t know how he survived the war because he charges headfirst into every single possibility of a fight.

Finally, we have a dwarf, that’s right, we have someone who led a kobold rebellion against dwarves and a dwarf in the same group. I really don’t know how the two haven’t killed each other yet. It’s kind of amazing.

But, back to my story. We were slowly heading back home, walking through the forest as a group of farmers hurried up the road yelling, “Bandits! There are bandits ahead!”

Report Date

19 May 2023