Session 15 - Glad Rags & Bad Hags

With the lycanthropy dealt with and no imminent threats, the party decided to focus on finding ball-worthy clothes for Yunhu. He’d been in touch with Jihao Shen, quartermaster of the Red Fox Company, who promised he could find something. As Yunhu knew all too well though, anything Jihao promised tended to come with a catch, and so the whole group headed to Iron Spine territory, to the Red Fox HQ. They were greeted by Ana, who took them to Jihao, who explained his plan: he knew a workshop that could replicate any item, so all the group needed to do was borrow some fancy robes, then get a knockoff made. Furthermore, Jihao stated one of Thousand’s history museums had recently opened an exhibition of past emperors robes, which would be perfect. The group was naturally reluctant to steal from a museum, but Jihao pointed out the workshop only need to see the garment to memorise the design – the robes never needed to leave the museum, the group merely needed to create a distraction for a time. As such, the group agreed to the plan. Jihao took them to a wide Iron Sun Bridge that sat between Iron Spine and Golden Sun territory. A history check told the group that Iron Spine claimed ownership of and guarded this bridge, possibly so they could destroy it and cut off contact with the other Houses should Thousand ever erupt into civil war. Jihao then led them down some steps beneath the bride, where they found the Underbridge district, a slum largely populated by half-orcs, goblins and other misc. races of Thousand. Avoiding some of the rougher streets Jihao led the party to a crowded workshop, easily missed if one wasn’t looking for it. Inside they found a tailor-leatherworker-smithy populated entirely by kenku, bipedal crow-like creatures the likes of which the party hadn’t come across before. Kenku, it emerged, possessed no creativity but could forge just about anything. This workshop called themselves the Copycrows. After Jihao negotiated the terms of the deal in rapid-fire Auran, the workshop put forward one of their crafters, Sshh! Scoundrel! (it also emerged at this point that kenku couldn’t speak normally, only mimic voices). Sshh! Scoundrel! would accompany the group to the museum but needed to be able to touch and measure the chosen garment to make a copy of it later. Jihao handed Yunhu a Dr Widdershin’s Armour-Upper item in case he needed to gear up in a hurry, and told him to keep it if he didn’t use it.

The group went straight to the Museum of Thousand, a grand building near the university districts of Umbral Key. They split up to scout around the building, and found the following:

TIER 1 - ENTRANCE, SKELETON, GEOLOGY, AMENITIES

1. MAIN CHAMBER. Each dot on the map is a bust of a famous scientist, historian or patron of the museum. In the middle is a giant suspended skeleton of what appears to be a snake; you can walk underneath it to pass to the other side of the room. Approaching from the entrance, a sign pointing right says GEOLOGY while a sign pointing left says AMENITIES.

A small sign says "The Necronomicon on the third floor and mummy exhibition on the second floor have both been decommissioned after an unforseen incident. The area has now been converted into a children's play area."

2. ENTRANCE WAY to the museum from the street. There are steps leading down. In a further recess is a statue of Usen Feng, the museum's human female founder. In her outstretched hands are what appears to be a stack of museum maps. At her feet is a donation box. With a history check they party were able to recall that House Feng were a vassal of Umbral Key and 'old blood' in the world of academia, and also still in charge of the museum. 3. The GEOLOGY section, which is basically just rocks. Has a lot of signs saying things like 'Rocks are fun!!' Not many people here. North are some stairs to second floor. 4. The sign on the door says VOLCANOES. The room beyond looks quite dark.

4a. Two thirds of this room are taken up by a replica of the Mountain Forge volcano. Lava has been carved from orange glass and appears back-lit by use of candles or a spell. There are signs explaining how volcanoes work which are actually very interesting, but no-one can read any them due to the atmospheric low light.
4b. The adjoining round room talks more about the history of the Mountain Forge, which is that it was always occupied by Faistus' priests. Several smithing tools like hammers, pliers and a small set of bellows are on display.

5. A selection of precious metals. There's also a coin collection, because every museum has one. 6. A selection of semi-precious stones locked within a case. 7. A diamond, which is unnaturally dull and lacks all lustre. A plaque reads "This diamond was used to revive the beloved warrior Yin Shena mere seconds after her demise. When death claimed her a second time, it was pulled from her heart to be replaced with another, but this time her soul passed on to Zhun. Her descendants kept the stone for many years, until it was finally donated to this museum. Note the dullness of the gem, which is believed to occur after the power of the diamond has been expended in pulling a soul from Zhun's clutches." A guard keeps a careful eye on this room. 8. A selection of fossils which the exhibit signs are enthusiastic about, but no-one else is. 9. The AMENITIES section. Like every museum there is a list of contributors on the wall that no-one reads. North is the cafe and stairs to second floor, east is the toilets and gift shop. 10. The sign says CAFE, it looks quite welcoming.

10a. A nice little cafe, 2 sp for a meal which is a little overpriced for what it is.
10b. Further cafe seating in a round room with a good view.

11. Cafe kitchen, not accessible to the public. 12. A gift shop full of tacky souvenirs, all way overpriced 13. Female toilets. There is, of course, a queue. 14. Male toilets. Empty. 15. A storeroom with the sign 'employees only' which is locked. If picked it reveals a simple storage room for spare gift shop stock and an employee's entrance to the outside.

TIER 2 - THE NATURAL WORLD

16. Continuing from the east section of dragon-kin, this showcases various other animals.

16a. MAMMALS of all types, taxidermy and pictures.
16b. BIRDS and flying creatures.
16c. SEA CREATURES, mostly fish. Has a very neat preserved jellyfish. There is a small section about the Impassable Sea, and how its dangers prevent explorers from being able to document truly deep sea life. A history check for the group revealed that the Impassable Sea was pretty much what it sounded like and very few ships made it in and out of Thousand due to sinking.

17. A small section on DIRE creatures and what causes gigantism, largely thought to be long-term exposure to strong ambient magic. 18. The sign reads INSECTS. In simplistic draconic it says 'Not for eating' to warn off any kobolds.

18a. Insects, as in mostly mounted on boards. Contains a wall of butterflies that is both beautiful and creepy.
18b. Even more insects, particularly icky ones like roaches and worms. One gets the impression these are carefully tucked out of the main exhibit's view.

19. SAPIENTS. Exhibits on all the sapient races. There is a note about elves hailing from the Feywild and their belief in reincarnation; there are also wood elves, high elves and a brief mention of dark elves from the Frozen Forest. Tabaxi are believed to be descended from Cat Sita, and halflings trading their original human stature to Cat Sita in exchange for her blessing. Dwarfs are stout due to originally hailing from underground, though lack of resources forced them to surface eventually. Tieflings come from fiends, more devils than demons. Nothing about aasimar. 20. DRAGON-KIN. It has command of this floor, of course.

20a. The main section of this floor. It opens out onto the floor below, and the snake skeleton is hoisted in such a way that you can see it up close from up here. The strings also look as though they can be cut...
20b. Anatomical drawings and a few skeletons of dragonborn, kobolds, lizardfolk, basilisks and all manner of other lizards.
20c. The more 'natural' side to dragon-kin with various lizards, snakes and other reptiles.

21. The sign says 'Employees only'. The group never entered this room. 22. A section exclusively dedicated to dragons, including a model of a blue dragon in flight carved from sapphire (Sekket later casting Detect Magic revealed this to be an illusion, it was actually made from a much less precious stone).

Signs on the wall hold further detail on various types of dragons and their temperaments: green are clever, black are sneaky, white are primitive. Blue dragons are lauded as being the most clever and successful. Yunhu noticed that this particular exhibit was sponsored by House Lazuli, a trading company of largely blue dragonborn. Tera noticed that metallic dragons weren't mentioned, and neither were red dragons. When she questioned this with a member of staff they looked puzzled and replied that red dragons didn't exist, or one had never been documented.

23. Two more small rooms on dragon-kin:

23a. A section on 'lesser dragons' such as wyrms and pseudodragons.
23b. A section on drakes and how they're created from dragon scales, thus must be gifted by a powerful dragon.

24. A mirror to the animal exhibits to the east, the west shows various monsters.

24a. MONSTROSITIES. This section is dominated by a taxidermy of an owlbear. It isn't big enough to display every monster so instead there are displays of tiny and well-painted models of other creatures, including an ankheg, cockatrice, phase spiders and some sort of giant toad.
24b. Winner of the Make-A-Monster contest, a child's drawing of a floating sphere with a big cyclops eye and toothy mouth, surrounded by tendrils with other eyes. The author is Tan, age 6. Someone has jealously written "Why did this win? It's just an EYE surrounded by EYES."
24c. ELEMENTALS AND DJINN. There is a map signposted "Djinni lamp (expended)" which can be picked up. Yunhu tried rubbing it and felt a strange sense of grumpiness, as if something was saying go away, but nothing else happened.

25. FIENDS. The door is closed and bears a warning that some may find the imagery distressing. Drawings of various demons from the Torn Veil and a lot of lauding Iron Spine for their bravery in holding them off. Surprisingly little on devils. 26. GIANTS. A small section on giants, trolls and ogres. Contains the supposed shrunken head of a storm giant, which looks human-sized. 27. OOZES. A small section on goo monsters. Features a perfectly clear square box with a sign saying "Gelatinous Cube". It is perfectly clear. Yunhu tried getting some sort of reaction but nothing happened, and the group decided releasing a cube was too risky. 28. Play area for children with lots of paper and crayons. 29. A corridor to tier 3 and signs explaining that the third floor is all about culture and history.

TIER 3 - GODS, HISTORY AND CULTURE

30. DEITIES commands the main area of floor three. Some interesting facts can be gleaned: An'nai worship was once outlawed by Bo Garudo but they eased off as 'the gods must take care not to over-interfere with the state' and 'there is a fine line between protection and freedom'.

Furyu is noted to have few historical references, causing many to think her temples were burned down in the troubled times, and others to theorise that she is a 'modern' god that represents Thousand's cultural revolution. Of note, Sshh! Scoundrel! recognised the peacock-like goddess of beauty Furyu was also the goddess of thieves, Furme – some believed the flightless kenku were once cursed by Furme, while other thought their natural sneakiness and ability to imitate meant they were actually blessed. Either way, she was a figure of especial importance. (GM note: Furyu’s real identity is only known among birdfolk. Sshh! Scoundrel! did not tell the group this, and therefore no party members should be aware of this information).
30a. A large exhibit. The nine highlighted dots are statues of the 9 gods, starting with Bo Garudo going clockwise and ending with An'nai. Stars on the map is also the garb of several priests: north is the clean white armour of a Bo Garudo judge, the exuberant orange robes of a Karada healer. South are the heavy black robes of a Zhun priest and old-looking spiky armour that worshippers of Rashindra used to wear.
30a also has a northwest corner dedicated to ancient gods no longer worshipped, with two sets of crumbling armour for a 'life goddess' and old 'storm god'.
30a has a southwest corner dedicated to elven 'gods', namely that they practice ancestor worship.
30b. The first four clusters show tiny models of godly temples (Karada, Bo Garudo, Faistus and Rashindra). The next four clusters are people's art dedications to the gods. There is an empty plinth with a sign apologising for the removal of the Necronomicon.

31. WITHIN THE THOUSAND HOUSES, an exhibit on the history of Thousand.

31a. There is some detail about the land being in war and turmoil, with hundreds of self-proclaimed emperors and empresses vying for the throne. This resulted in mass famine, until the leaders of the four great Houses called a truce and formed Thousand as it is known today.
31b. GOLDEN SUN. This are is dedicated specially to Golden Sun and their role in shaping Thousand and forming its laws. It contains a few heirloom treasures, including a circular relief of a dragon cast in gold leaf.

32. LAW AND CRIME. Following this semi-circular room around gives you a timeline of crime and punishment in Thousand, which has become gentler over time and now encourages reform instead of punishment. House Tsun, the gold dragonborn who lead Golden Sun, are responsible for much of this. 33. A small and very easy to miss room, it contains relics of ancient times - mostly pottery and very easy to skim over. On closer inspection though, there is a beautiful tea set, broken but repaired with gold. Why is it hidden amongst these mundane pots?

While using this room to discuss plans in, the group noticed this room never seemed to have staff members or visitors going in and out of it - in fact Sshh! Scoundrel! did not enter the room at all, but suddenly found themselves preoccupied with other tasks, as though turned away by an invisible guiding force.

34. UMBRAL KEY. This area is specifically dedicated to notable wizards and their role in shaping society.

34a. The main area discusses the colleges but also the effect magic has had on Thousand's society and its reliance on it. It is noted that magic used to be rare but there has been a slow documented increase in ambient magic over the decades. The exhibit theorises on what may happen if it continues to grow and whether this would be good or bad.
34b. This room seems strangely tacked on to the museum and stepping in gives a sense of unease, like it doesn't really belong here. It gives a history of many, many wizards, almost as though they were all clamouring to be in this museum. Yunhu was able to figure out that this was an extra-dimensional space added to the museum at the behest of self-important mages.

35. LOTUS ROSE. The history on this House is surprisingly sparse, and the exhibit instead shows off some of Lotus Rose's greatest treasures, leaving the room utterly laden with glittering treasure. There are several guards here of course. 36. IRON SPINE, a room dedicated to the house of military affairs.

36a. A history of the House but also of war in general. Iron Spine was a hobgoblin army set on conquering Thousand (before it was such) and doing a good job at it too, however Golden Sun negotiated their alliance in exchange for land and status.
36b. Relics of the House, mostly hobgoblin in nature.

37. An 'employees only' room. The group never went in here. 38. The corridor immediately west of the gods exhibit of 30 is labelled BEYOND THOUSAND. There is a continent map on the wall.

38a. THE PLAINS. An oversight on the largely empty stretch of land outside Thousand. There is a brief discussion of hives of giant insects and small communities who have learned to work alongside them to harvest silk. There is also a section dedicated to nomadic centaurs though it labels them as sometimes hostile to Thousand.
38b. BEYOND THE SEA. A small exhibit dedicated to the world beyond Thousand, largely unexplored due to the Impassable Sea. It is assumed that Tenzi is the only continent to have sapient life and the rest of the world is either all ocean or very primitive.
38c. BEYOND THE MORTAL REALM. A brief exhibit on different planers, though surprisingly light on the details.

39. THE FORESTS. Dedicated to Orchestra and Lockbox forests, this room goes into more detail about the history of the elves. It mentions that Lockbox 'walked off' but attributes this to hyperbole or symbolism - Shinzu can confirm that it isn't. The exhibit clearly favours Orchestra as the better forest. There is a high elf robe in delicate greens and pastel shades, more focused on flowers while Lockbox garb looks more leafy. 40. THE FROST. This round room is dedicated to the Frost. It implies the Frost is due to magic but is very careful to avoid laying blame on Umbral Key and in fact suggests several other causes, including changing weather patterns. It details a few unique monsters found there, such as giants and white wyrms. It also mentions flash-freezes and lost districts. 41. A continuation of the Frost exhibit, the west star discusses the Frozen Forest and contains a piece of bark from a tree there, which is covered in unmelting ice. The east star documents the Wailing Woods, named for a high presence of ghosts and declared as unsafe to pass as the Frost itself.

The south star has the strange boxy uniform Tera and Yunhu saw a Frost-Priest wearing during their farewell procession. A sign notes this is worn by 'offerings' who perform rituals that help keep the Frost at bay at the cost of their lives.

The group went from room to room exploring everything carefully. Kyto and Sekket were able to take what they assumed was the missing Necronomicon, while Tera and Yunhu questioned the lack of dragon scales in the dragon section of the exhibit. Shinzu had a good look around and was excited to learn about two more potential forests in the world. Lun used Disguise Self to look like Sshh! Scoundrel! and the two spent like ten minutes copying what each other was saying and winding up the employees. All of the clothes were located on the third floor, near the statues of the gods. After looking at all of the robes Yunhu felt a strange draw to the blue robes of the no-longer-worshipped storm god, and decided he would have the kenku copy these (he also immediately started musing on how break back into the museum and swap the fake robes for the real ones later). The group convened in room 33 to discuss their plans, coming across a strange ceramic teapot, formerly broken then repaired with gold paste, that looked extremely familiar to Kyto. Sensing its significance and because it didn't look at though it had ever belonged in the pottery exhibit to begin with, the group took the teapot and stashed it in the Bag of Holding. While the group were formulating a plan, Sshh! Scoundrel went from room to room stealing small trinkets. The guards caught them trying to take gems in the room of Lotus Rose treasures but they obediently put the gems back, so the guards chalked it up to the kenku being dim and shooed them away.

Eventually the group put the following plan into action: Shinzu was on the third floor with Sshh! Scoundrel! so she could lockpick the glass box containing the robes. Lun used Disguise Self to appear as one of the guards, relieving another guard from their position. Sekket and Lun stayed on the third floor to keep an eye out for (and on) Sshh! Scoundrel! Yunhu distracted the guard on the second floor while Kyto threw a knife to cut the strings holding up the snake skeleton. Tera stood underneath and pretended to be crushed beneath the skeleton to attract staff attention, while also triggering her wild magic to cause some chaos. She temporarily aged into an old woman (causing a museum employee to panic that this was due to the stolen Necronomicon), summoned a puddle of seawater, and melted all coins into mercury within a certain radius. This included all of the party’s money. It also included the museum’s priceless antique coin collection. As all the employees panicked, Yunhu cast Fog Cloud to cover the group’s escape. Tera tried running for the museum door to escape, but the doors automatically swung shut as a magical anti-theft measure. It was at this point that the giant snake skeleton started to shift, slowly rising and swaying in the mist. It revealed itself to actually be a bone naga bound to subdue thieves, however once a fight started it became evident that it also had a magical stipulation that prevented it from doing lethal damage. Tera used her aasimar wings to fly and tried speaking with the naga and convincing it that nothing had been stolen. It cast Detect Thoughts to determine if she was lying, decided that she was being truthful. It did however sense items amiss on the third floor and so began to fly upwards through the building. It moved to the third floor via the stairs, damaging the corridors as it went – also damaging Sekket and Kyto who were on their way down, though it otherwise ignored them. Sshh! Scoundrel! placed all of their stolen items on the statue to Furyu/Furme (for which the GM awarded the player inspiration) which drew the naga’s attention, allowing Sshh! Scoundrel! to successfully sneak away. Before the naga could give chase Sshh! Scoundrel! jumped from the second floor (used their inspiration, got a natural 20) and briefly experienced the joy of flight, as though blessed by Furme, before the actually-flying Tera wisely caught them. Using Yunhu’s Fog Cloud as cover, everyone promptly booked it out of the side exit and successfully escaped. From there they returned to Underbridge Slums along with Jihao. Sshh! Scoundrel! said goodbye to the group, and the Copycrows stated they would deliver the duplicate garment within a few days. Thus ended the session…