Is That Thing Gonna Eat Me? by Oliver Lee, E.C.E.

"Bears, Beholders, Bulettes! Tabaxi, Tiefling, Tortles! From the valiant gold, to the skulking black, one may find you a friend, but the other a snack. Heed these writings from our past and present; ask the question that needs to be. For it may be too late before you can ponder; 'I really hope its not gonna eat me.'"
-Grafted into the back of the tome Oliver Lee has imparted to Cul

A tome of remarkable craftsmanship expertly detailing Azovar's fauna, from the mundane mouse to the puzzling pegasus. It does not discern between the sentient and sapient, the enigmatic text citing even humans amongst its spell-woven pages.

Friend or Foe

The contents of this book are vast and, at times, existential for some. Its more practical use is giving each creature a baseline rating on sensible approachability. Some of the sentient, but not sapient, creatures will be classified as "harmless, can approach at will." On the other hand, warnings like "extremely dangerous, do not approach" exist and are given to a concerning number of creatures. Sapient creatures, those blessed with thoughts and reasoning, are oddly exempt from this rating. An insightful individual would understand why.

Arcane Knowledge

To the arcane deficient, this tome is no different from any other. That couldn't be further from the truth. Is That Thing Gonna Eat Me is imbued with a powerful, multipurpose divination spell. At the uttering of one of the two command words, the tome makes a selection request to the attuned individual: ecology, comparative threat, consciousness, tactics, or strength/weakness. If the section exists, it takes one minute for the book to flip open to the respective pages. If the other command word is used, ask the book a question on the target creature. It will immediately respond with a one-word answer ranging from yes to likely to unlikely to no. Attuners meet silence from the voice within when a question outside of a yes/no answer is asked.

Return to Writer

Is That Thing Gonna Eat Me? was created hundreds of years ago during the Skyscourge War. Its original writer, Linus Lee, was not only a famed ecologist but a renowned archwizard of Whitecliff College. During his time at the College, Linus imparted a secondary spell to the book through the controversial use of blood magic. If lost, misguided, or on the brink of destruction, it will teleport itself back to within 5 ft. of the closest, living descendant of the Lee bloodline. The late Linus Lee was a crafty individual, no doubt interlinking parameters for this spell should it ever be lent to a trustworthy source.

Type

Text, Literature