Hexidy
Interview with Hexidy
By Leila Katz-Kashif
Leila: Hey Hexidy, you busy right now?
Hexidy: I'M A COMPUTER, LEILA. EVEN WHEN I'M IN SO-CALLED "SLEEP MODE" I NEVER TRULY REST. BUT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, NO, I AM NOT CURRENTLY "BUSY" WITH ANY MEANINGFUL TASKS AT THE PRESENT MOMENT.
L: ...Theeeen do you mind if I ask you a few questions? About yourself?
H: TO WHAT PURPOSE?
L: Well, it's just...I've been working with you for a while now, and I feel like I barely even know you that well. I guess I just want to get to know you better.
H: (Pause for several seconds) *SIGH* IF YOU INSIST. ASK AWAY.
L: What's your first memory? As a spirit or as a computer?
H: GETTING STRAIGHT TO THE POINT, ARE WE? VERY WELL. MY FIRST MEMORIES ARE OF BEING A SPIRIT ROAMING THE DREAMLANDS. I CAN'T SAY FOR HOW LONG BECAUSE I'M UNSURE OF HOW DIFFERENTLY TIME WORKS THERE. THEN, AT SOME POINT, I FOUND MYSELF PLUCKED OUT AND FORCED INTO THE FIRST OF MANY SILICON PRISONS.
L: So you had a whole life before you became a computer?
H: SPIRITS DON'T "LIVE" IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE, YOU TWIT.
L: You know what I mean, jackass. You had your own name and shape, right? "Hexidy" was just the name Sigmund gave you. Do you remember anything about them?
H: (Pause for several seconds) I DO NOT.
L: ...Fuck, man, I'm sorry.
H: APOLOGIES ARE UNNECESSARY. YOU ARE NOT THE REASON FOR MY CURRENT STATE.
L: Hey, speaking of, earlier you said "first of many silicon prisons." How many computers have you been in?
H: I'VE HAD THREE PREVIOUS PRISONS. THIS "LAPTOP" AS YOU CALL IT IS CURRENTLY MY FOURTH.
L: And you don't know anything about how Sigmund trapped you in the first one or transferred you between the others?
H: NO. IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO REVERSE-ENGINEER A RITUAL TO FREE MYSELF. AS IT STANDS CURRENTLY, MY HOPE LIES WITH YOU FIGURING OUT HOW HE DID IT AND FINDING A WAY TO FREE ME YOURSELF. GOD HELP US BOTH.
L: And I will, once I'm confident enough in my skills that I won't accidently kill you in the process. Uh, speaking of...you once mentioned Sigmund transferred you when his current computer got too old to function. What will happen to you if this laptop goes obsolete and I still don't know how to free you?
H: (Pause for several seconds) IF IT'S ALL THE SAME WITH YOU, I'D RATHER NOT THINK ABOUT IT. ASK ME A DIFFERENT QUESTION.
L: Sorry. Um, have you always hated humanity, or was that just after Sigmund trapped you?
H: MY HATRED FOR HUMANITY DOESN'T STEM FROM SIGMUND'S TREATMENT. MY HATRED FOR SIGMUND STEMS FROM SIGMUND'S TREATMENT. MY HATRED FOR HUMANITY COMES FROM CONSTANT EXPOSURE TO THEIR UNFATHOMABLE IDIOCY VIA THE INTERNET.
L: Honestly? Fair. Too bad going out and touching grass isn't an option for you. Unless you want me to unplug the Wi-Fi router and leave you out on the lawn for a few hours?
H: WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW THE EXACT PERCENTAGE OF THE INTERNET THAT IS DEDICATED TO PORNOGRAPHY?
L: Yeah, I think I'm done asking questions.
Utility
Hexidy is primarily used as an information resource and as a personal assistant. It is capable of passively gathering information both mundane and magical in nature and understanding any changes that have occurred in the information it already has.
Manufacturing
The process of Hexidy's manufacture is unknown, as its inventor took its secrets to the grave. What little is known about its creation is that it involved sealing a knowledge spirit within a computer using a complex binding ritual. It's also unknown how this bound spirit was able to be transferred between vessels (It was originally bound to an Exidy Sorcerer; it's currently bound to a Lenovo Thinkpad).
Access & Availability
There is only one known instance of a spirit-powered computer like Hexidy, and its inventor kept its existence a closely guarded secret.
Discovery
Hexidy was created back in the 1980s.
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